I Love Money - "The Final Four" (Episode 113)

White Boy - drunk with power (VH-1)
After weeks and weeks of competition, sneakery, skankery and all-around stupidity, it's time to find out which reality television fame whore will be $250,000 richer. Megan is down to her last bathing suit and can't wait to use (what she is positive will be) her winnings to buy some new swimwear. Real knows he's in White Boy's sights. White Boy said that all alliances and teams are out the window. It's pretty icy in the house. Hoopz doesn't feel good about the deterioration of the relationship between her, Real and White Boy. CJ calls in and tells the final four that their next challenge is going to be "crazy" and "athletic." White Boy loves it already. Megan thinks she's "doomed". Oh, I hope so.

The gang arrives at the beach and finds a square-shaped scaffolding suspended above the water (and a scary-looking cliff) by a crane. CJ informs everyone that since there ae only four of them left, there will be no vault, the winner becomes paymaster and will have a "power dinner" with the remaining three players and, that night, someone was going to bounce from the house. The challenge is called "Krazy Toss" (VH-1's spelling, not mine!), recreating the touching moment from "Flavor of Love 2" when Buckeey almost pushed Krazy off the balcony. Good times. Each player has to get up on the scaffolding, grab a dummy representing Krazy and running her around to a balcony, where they have to throw the dummy overboard into a designated target area. After tossing the dummy, they have to make their way back to the starting area. The player to do this in the fastest time wins. White Boy can't believe they have to do this "over 6,955 feet of air" (he's exaggerating, kids), but he assured us that he's winning.

First up is Megan. I would love this show forever if they used her as the dummy, but not all of our dreams can come true, can they? Megan says she's scared of heights, but knows that if she doesn't win, she's going home. Aww, damn! She's strapped in a harness. Megan's having a little trouble even giving CJ the thumbs up that she's ready to begin. It is pretty darned high. I'm getting vertigo just looking at the bird's-eye view. CJ tells her that she'll be disqualified if she doesn't go through with it and Megan finally talks herself into going. Megan grabs the doll, which is heavier than it looked and, as she went to cross the scaffolding, lost her footing and fell. Is she okay? (The Megan-hater in me knows she'll be alright, but I had such a moment of glee watching her disappear from frame!)

So, yeah, Megan's fine. She didn't even fall off of the beam. Real hopes she does fall (that's my boy!) Megan lost her grip on the doll and it crashed to its death. Megan says it was the worst day of her life. Hoopz also admits that she's not fond of heights and just wants to get this challenge over with. She folds the doll into thirds, picks it up and zips across the beam with ease, throwing the dummy over the railing, but missing the target. She forgot that she had to go back to the starting area and lost some time. Her time was 23 seconds overall. Not too shabby. Real is next and is focused on his brother and the money. Hoopz hopes he can remain calm and focused because if White Boy is paymaster, he's sure to be the one heading home. Real grabs the doll and takes baby scoots across the beam. He makes it to the balcony and throws the doll over. His return trip was much faster than his initial outing. Real's time was 28 seconds. Megan notes that Real is "bothered" about always coming in second to Hoopz. It's down to White Boy. Megan doesn't think he's going to be able to beat "superwoman" Hoopz. White Boy says he's never gotten to be paymaster and vows to win the challenge. He grabs the doll with ease and confidently crosses the beam, dumps the doll and runs back across the beam in record time. Hoopz knows she's been bested. His final time was 16 seconds and he's safe from elimination. CJ sends everyone back to the house to prepare for the power dinner and elimination.

Megan sits pensively on the deck and is joined by Real. Both of them feel like they're the one going home. Megan tells Real not to worry - that he and White Boy have had an alliance since day one. White Boy is relishing his position and can't wait to hear everyone grovel. At dinner, Real notes that White Boy is sitting at the head of the table "like Tony Montana." No one feels much like talking. White Boy says he doesn't usuaally drink, but he's drinking tonight. Hoopz is hoping to be able to smooth things over between Real and White Boy. It seems "like a stalemate" to White Boy, who's disappointed that the only real conversation at the table deals with the quality of the broccoli soup. He finally asks Real that if, after their "altercation" with Hoopz if he would have sent him packing. Real notes that there wasn't really ever an "altercation" - he just wanted to know what the relationship between he and Hoopz entailed (friends or a little bit more.) White Boy said he was put in an "uncomfortable predicament" by his former friend and felt disrespected. Real said his thing was "loyalty," which gave Megan the chance to bring up their earlier discussion, where Real didn't feel that he and White Boy had any loyalty left. That Megan is such a schemer.

White Boy is mad that Real was talking about him behind his back. Real says his words were misinterpreted. White Boy seems to have made up his mind as to whom he's sending home. Hoopz felt she needed to jump in and save Real and told White Boy that Megan told her that if she were paymaster that she'd send him home. White Boy looked taken aback and his said his "mind was cluttered...for real." Megan tried to backtrack but ended up looking "dumb" - which is not too hard for her, actually. Megan told White Boy that she's been his personal snitch - which led White Boy to jump all over Hoopz for trying to throw Megan under the bus. White Boy now admits he thought he may have drank a little too much and struggled and stammered through some sort of explanationas to why he was going to send Real home (he kept repeating that he "knows what time it is.") He then got into it with Megan. Maybe he could send everyone home and I could get some sleep. No such luck. Real thinks White Boy's got it in for him because he's closer to Hoopz. Whatevs. Hoopz is scared that she may actually be the one heading home.

It's time for the penultimate elimination. White Boy's got a decision to make. CJ says that the four are about to be three - and makes the appropriate hand gesture - which is completely lost on our little drunken White Boy. (After watching this for 12 weeks, I have only one hand gesture for these folks!) CJ asks Hoopz what losing the $250K would feel like and she said she wasn't sure if she could live with herself and wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Real said it would hurt a lot to lose the dough, especially with White Boy as the paymaster. Megan said her conniving skills kept her around, more so than her physical prowess. White Boy said he wanted to "highlight" Real. Real stepped forward and White Boy said that Real had his back since day one, but recently it was all about Hoopz. White Boy told CJ to void his check. Megan was shocked, as she had already packed her (and Lily's) bags. White Boy kept telling Real that he lost sight of the money as soon as he fell in love. Real said the only geniune person in the house is (and always was) Hoopz and tells White Boy that what comes around goes around. CJ tells Real that he's not going anywhere just yet and asks him to take a seat on the bench with his voided check. CJ then tells White Boy that his time as paymaster is over and Real is the first member of "the jury" to decide which of the three remaining competitors moves on to the final challenge. No shocker, the "jury" is also made up some of the other eliminated contestants - Pumkin, Toastee, Entertainer, Heather and 12 Pack. They are going to decide which two will compete in the final competition.

The next day, each of the remaining three have to plead their case in front of the jury, who will then pick two out of the three (White Boy is still having a little problem grasping the math involved with this episode) to move on. No one on the jury thought that Megan would still be there - and Megan thinks she's screwed. So screwed that she, in fact, says she's quitting the game. She says she's not about to let Heather, Pumkin and Toastee seal her fate. Finally! She's gone! Ding, dong y'all! White Boy had better sleep off his wine drunk before the next day's challenge.

The next morning, White Boy and Hoopz wake to an empty house. It's slightly bittersweet. CJ calls in and tells them to get ready for the $250K challenge. Hoopz said it would "suck so bad" if she went through all of this time, work, effort and emotions for nothing. White Boy says he's never been so nervous in his entire life. They arrive back in the town square for the final challenge. They are competing head-to-head in a race called "The Dash for the Cash." They are running from the town square to a series of challenges, which they must complete before they can move on. The race will end at the house. In the first leg of the challenge, the players have to collect 100 pesos by any means necessary - begging, selling clothing or even tap dancing (they just can't steal it.) White Boy can speak Spanish so he's not worried (Hoopz can only say "gracias.")

CJ informs the racers that after they collect their 100 pesos, they have to give the money to a waiting cab driver, who will take them the ten miles to the next leg of the challenge. And...they're off. Both Hoopz and White Boy are having trouble getting any money (and Hoopz found a bunch of English-speakers.) White Boy managed to sweet talk a couple out of 100 pesos for a mere kiss (for the female member of the couple only.) Hoopz was bummed that White Boy was already gone. Hoopz takes to straight-up begging to get money and sold her belly ring to get the balance. She finally gets in the cab and is worried that White Boy got such a huge head start. Sadly for Hoopz, there was a huge, street-blocking accident right in front of her. White Boy says his cab driver knows how to drive and is already counting his money in his mind. White Boy arrives at the start of the second leg of the challenge and isn't too happy when he realizes that he's going to have to navigate his way down a rocky path on a steep hill to the beach. Hoopz is holding on for dear life as her cab driver speeds through the streets to her next checkpoint. She finally arrives and heads down the steep hill. White Boy made it to the third checkpoint and finds out he has to roll an oversized coin through an obstacle course, around flags and over sand dunes. Hoopz comes charging up from behind and doesn't think she's got the energy to push the huge coin around. White Boy finishes leg three and hops into a waiting boat and speeds off. Hoopz keeps droppinthe cin and looks as though she's about to quit, but catches a glimpse of White Boy on his boat and manages to continue. White Boy sees the mansion and jumos from the boat, swimming full speed ahead to the beach and runs up the stairs to the house. Hoopz hits the beach soon after, but White Boy makes it to CJ first. But, there's one last challenge. White Boy is so dizzy from exhaustion that he can't read the sign. What he has to do is put pictures of all of the cast members upy in order of elimination. He got Midget Mac right and feels confident that he's got plenty of time before Hoopz catches up. Well, White Boy didn't have as much time as he thought, as Hoopz came bounding up the stairs. White Boy got a few wrong and can't remember the order in which his former teammates and competitors went down. Hoopz finally caught up and started hanging up the pictures. It's a super-close competition. White Boy thinks he's got it, but he's wrong. Hoopz thinks she's still got a chance. Hoopz thinks she's got it and CJ verifies it - she's the big winner! Gee, she's actually a two-time VH-1 winner (even though it's debatable that Flavor Flav constitutes a prize.) And so, it's a big adios to Mexico and a big buena suerte to Hoopz! Of course, it's not over just yet - see you for the reunion!