Primeval Episode Ten (Episode 204)

Important Stats:
Terrifying Dinosaur Count: 0 (Yay!)  
Anomalies: 1
Future Predators Not Named Bob : 9 (at least)
Messages To Connor From the Universe: 2
Big Beastie: Mer (Murcus)

We open at a basketball game on the Isle of Dogs.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, the only thing I know about the Isle of Dogs is that Canary Wharf is there, which has a history for being a bad place in British Sci-fi.

This time, the sewers are overflowing.  Ew.  When the ball is knocked off the court, a kid named Lucien is sent to get it.  Of course, the ball landed in the grossest place possible: in an uncovered manhole.  Only a teenage boy would think it’s okay to go and pick it up without promptly needing to be disinfected.  The water bubbles up and something pulls Lucien into the manhole, without any of his friends noticing what’s going on.  They just think he’s goofing around.  Soon, all that’s left of Lucien is one white trainer.  

Credits.

ARC:  Connor’s ADD is alerting.

As quickly as the anomaly opens in the Thames, it closes, leaving Leek frustrated.  Usually, I would completely ignore Leek but as he’s the only regular cast member present, I guess I’ll just have to enjoy his frustration.  

At Abby’s flat, Caroline is making dinner and deleting Connor’s phone calls from Cutter, while Abby is beating up a punching bag.  What I wouldn’t give for Abby to use Caroline instead.  Caroline butts her way into Abby’s workout by suggesting Abby spend more time trying to kick her opponent in the throat. She demonstrates in such a way that makes me take back what I said earlier about Abby because Caroline could totally kick her ass.  “Your way, he gets a few bruises but mine he’s choking on the floor,” Caroline says.

Just as Connor and Caroline sit down to dinner, Abby’s phone goes off, with a message from the universe – or Cutter – or both.

The B Team head off and Caroline is left to her own nefarious means.  First, she calls Leek, who is annoyed she couldn’t keep Connor around any longer.  Yeah, well, Leek, you can’t fight against the powers of the universe that are converging for Connor’s own good.  Secondly, annoyed when Rex ruins her nice dinner, it’s obvious something bad is about to happen to the most adorable dinosaur in history.

We get a shot of Stephen and Cutter contemplating the manhole.  

Not!Claudia is expositing about the disappearance of the ironically named Lucien Hope.  The kid hasn’t got a hope in hell at the moment, as the anomaly is clearly underwater, and his friends didn’t give a crap when it looked like he was struggling.  As Jenny heads off to exposit some more to the B Team, Nick Cutter and his scorching hot assistant / pit bull / bloodhound / bodyguard / excuse for slash, Stephen Hart, explore the manhole.

Underground, they find no sign of the flood, or Lucien.  What they do hear is a strange that isn’t human and something strong enough to bend iron bars to escape into the canal.  What they don’t find is that there’s someone else down there, watching.  Tracking creatures, these two are good at.  They consistently miss the human element.

At the canal, poor Connor has had enough of being the butt of everyone’s jokes and tees off at Abby for implying what the universe is trying so hard to tell him.  I feel bad for the poor little nerd, but I can’t quite get up enough oomph to snark Abby for being mean, simply because she isn’t wrong.  Before the argument can get too far, the rest of the team arrive, and with Jenny assigned to the B Team’s boat, things will have to cool between them.  I, on the other hand, hope that somehow, Stephen will fall in.  

Night falls and Nick and Stephen have found nothing, other than some gross sloughed off skin from some mammal not polite enough to shed where I can’t see it.  As for the B Team boat, Connor and Abby are still sniping at each other, but at least they may have found something.  In frustration, Jenny finally insists that she be the one keeping watch and at that exact second, the boat is hit, knocking Jenny overboard.  I blame her completely inappropriate footwear as the reason she couldn’t keep her balance.  

As Jenny is making her way back to the boat (even though she can’t swim), I have a flashback, not to Jaws (despite the fin following her) but to one my favourite movies of all time.

She can’t make it back in time, but proving why they’re not the B Team (I refuse to make A Team jokes) Cutter and Stephen’s boat can make it to her.  As Cutter rescues Jenny, Stephen shoots at Jaws.

Back on shore, Cutter narrowly misses seeing another creature poke its head out of the water, but the rest of the team is focused on how Jenny nearly died and the gross piece of skin that was found.

ARC:  Cutter checks in to see how Jenny is.  She’s not fine, and she’s not Claudia either.  He learns that the hard way when he not only treats her as he would’ve Claudia, but also accidentally calls her the wrong name.

They move onto other topics.  She hates the name Claudia, but Cutter did save her life, so won’t get angry.  Her fiancé isn’t particularly interested in her professional life.  As for Cutter, he reminds us of the bitch, and the fact that Claudia no longer exists.  It’s so gentle how he doesn’t specifically tell Jenny that the second woman in his life was Claudia, which is surprisingly astute for Cutter.  He even tries to end it on a humourous note, joking about his hot date with a dead, cold-blooded shark.  Hmm, if this were a lighter moment, there’s a Helen joke to be made here.

In a particularly disgusting moment, Cutter reaches into the future-sharks mouth and pulls out its tongue.  It’s long, gross and even has teeth.  Three are some things in this world I would’ve been happier not to know, and the idea of a shark with even more teeth, is one of them.

He slices open the shark’s gullet, and the smell makes everyone look like they’re about to upchuck.  Cutter pulls out a basketball, a shoe, but no Lucien.  

Later, Lester wants good news and doesn’t think that Lucien not being in the shark’s stomach counts.  I don’t know, but not being eaten by a toot-tongued shark would be great news to me.

There’s also the trouble of what exactly took Lucien.  The first time I watched this episode, I did what I always do, assume Cutter is right and Stephen is hot.  Now that I’ve seen it a few times, I realize that even though I know Stephen is wrong, the sheer dismissal of any of his ideas is definitely a sign of the fractured relationship between Stephen and his mentor.  He may be wrong about it being a shark (as the tongue couldn’t have gotten Lucien above ground and it could not sing) but Cutter doesn’t even attempt to make Stephen’s dismissal, well, less cutting.  Only when Stephen jumps in and suggests and easier option – dragging the canal – thus giving Lester and easy out, does anyone even listen to him.

Oh yes, and Leek is also there, licking his boss’s boots.  Do you care?  Good.  I don’t either.

At Abby and Connor’s flat, Caroline has stayed “sleeping” on the couch.  Come on, we all know she spent the entire time searching through their things, and being bitchy to Rex.  Connor may not notice, but Abby immediately sees Rex is missing.  Although, missing isn’t the correct term, it’s more like stuffed in the fridge (and why does Connor buy Caroline’s lie that Rex crawled in the fridge).  

Connor is still obtuse to what the universe is trying to tell him, and even tries to stop Caroline from leaving.  Nice.  She nearly kills as prehistoric mascot and Connor’s worried about pleasantries.

The next morning, at the canal, Stephen and Cutter are about to head off in search of the second creature, when Cutter balks, insisting that he take a moment to look around.  “Where have I even been wrong?”  Cutter asks.  Fair point.  “Except, about women, generally.”  

With that, Cutter takes off, expecting his scorching hot assistant / pit bull / bloodhound / bodyguard / excuse for slash, Stephen Hart to cover for him.

Cutter does find something in one of the adjacent docks and it’s someone very familiar.

Cutter is knocked out, only to awaken later, alone.  Again, another Helen joke is just pleading to be made here but I’m still restraining myself.  He also hears the singing he was looking for, so gets distracted and calls in the B Team, since Stephen’s off pretending he’s in charge.  Connor and Cutter swap SAS/Cleaner (meaning that he was both of them, not some sort of weird pairing for fanfic).  They both conclude they’re being watched but since Cutter only says “maybe” to the idea that it’s Lester, I’ll have to withhold judgment as well.  Now, if Cutter had wholeheartedly agree, I wouldn’t have had a doubt because when is Cutter wrong (unless it’s about women)?

They turn back to the matter at hand, listening for the singing.  They’re recording it but can’t identify what’s making it.  I’d like to make a humble suggestion.

Connor describes it as sounding like something he’d once heard at Glastonbury, which gives Abby an opportunity to pick on his as she doesn’t believe he’s cool enough to go to Glastonbury.  In all honesty, I don’t think it would’ve mattered what he’d said, she would’ve found fault.  If he’s thought whales were making that sound, she’d have snarked about when he’s ever seen whales.

Cutter, now having a keen understanding of how Jenny could’ve been so frustrated as to have been careless and thus lost her balance, is probably anxious to get back to the calm, passive aggressive environment that is his current relationship with Stephen.  Anything’s better than listening to the B Team bicker.

Okay, so maybe he’s not that anxious.  Instead, he uses his recording to try and invite whatever it is to come and say hello.  Well, not only does it come and say hello, but it also takes away a souvenier.

Cutter dives in looking for her, which probably wasn’t the greatest idea he’s ever had but it definitely rates above marrying Helen.  

Cue the montage of the search for Abby!  When they don’t find anything, Connor, who has either been bawling or is stoned out of his mind, freaks out and only his honourary big brother, Stephen, can reassure him.

You know what wouldn’t be reassuring?  How about Lester, Lyle and Jenny, completely inappropriately attired to help with the search, arriving?  Yeah, well, that’s what happens.  There’s a bunch of banter between Lester and Cutter about being a team player versus getting results, but as Cutter’s sent home, this recapper is given a gift from the snarktastic gods.  It’s a gift of obvious humour in what would otherwise be a depressing scene.

Lester turns the duties over to Stephen, and then asks the younger man what he wants.

Cutter insists that they’re looking in the wrong spot, and why no one listens to him, I don’t understand.  Seriously, when has he ever been wrong?  (Again, women are the exception.)  They can search all they like.  If Cutter says they’re wrong, they’re wrong.

At his flat, Connor is devastated, and even the adorable Rex can’t cheer him up.

Never fear, Connor!  Abby’s alive, TPTB wouldn’t take someone away from us so soon after the loss of Claudia and Captain Awesome Ryan, would they?  I couldn’t imagine anyone being that cruel to their fans.

Abby’s stuck treading water with less than a foot of air between her and a large grate.  They also have Murcus watching over them, and he’s nowhere near as willing to let his hostages go as his (female) namesake in Harry Potter.  Lucien’s also there, but, let us be honest; I’d trade him for Abby if I was given a choice.  She’s a regular and important part of Team B.  I only met Lucien a little over half an hour ago.  I’m not really feeling his plight.

Cutter is refusing to follow Lester’s instructions and is back on the search.  (Anyone surprised?  No?  Didn’t think so.)  He gets some unexpected assistance from Jenny, who has found a flooded warehouse nearby and is passing that information onto Cutter, working around Lester.  Hmm.  This seems vaguely familiar.

Not wanting to repeat his earlier mistake, Cutter doesn’t want to do this alone.  He calls in the remaining half of the B Team, I’d like to say because Connor’s the best one for the job, but really, Connor’s the only other one who knows what’s going on that’s forced to sit things out. 

Connor refuses to talk, at first, so Cutter does a big mea culpa into the phone.  Unlike the last time Cutter pulled the big emotional do it not for me but for someone else shtick , this time, initially, it’s ineffective. 

Plus, Abby’s still not dead, and probably wants out of the water sometime soon.

In the official search, Stephen’s found something with the little video-submarine thingy (technical term) he has.  I suggest he jump in the water and investigate himself, after he strips off, not wanting to ruin his clothes.

At the warehouse, Cutter’s found a sealed off grate and needs to get down to a lower level.  Luckily, Connor’s there with a crowbar.  Obviously, he’s there to help.  You know, they try to play it all creepy-like, as if Connor was potentially dangerous, much like I think we saw in Episode 7.   It would’ve worked too, except there’s one flaw in the plan.

Connor admits that he’s feeling terrible that the last thing he did was argue with Abby.  Trying to make him feel better, Cutter assures him that Abby knew what she meant to Connor.  Trust him, Connor, as when Cutter speaks, it must be true.  Although, Abby is a woman so – oh shit, Connor, you’re screwed.  Hope you packed for a long guilt trip!

By the way, Connor, during the emotional trauma, not once did you think to call Caroline.  You know what that means, even your subconscious has picked up on all the messages from the universe and yet you continue to outwardly ignore them!

As Stephen gets closer to something, Connor and Cutter come up against a wall.

Just as Cutter breaks his way through the wall, using Connor’s crowbar, Abby is pulled under, I’m assuming by Murcus.  After they get Lucas out from under the grate (and informed Abby’s still alive) Murcus tosses her up onto a platform. 

In an odd moment, Caroline actually justifies her existence.  I don’t know what Murcus was planning on doing, nor do I want to.  Like a scene from some ninja movie, Abby delivers a kick right to the throat, leaving Murcus gasping on the floor, just as Caroline suggested earlier. 

Due to the miracle of television, Abby doesn’t fall over, despite how awkward that kick looks.  Also, Murcus is kicked back into the water.  Suddenly, there another weird future creature and I can’t just call them all Murcus!  I’ve already played that card with Bob.

I’m glad I don’t really need to as Lucien knocks that one out with a chunk of concrete, leaving Murcus to toss Cutter into the drain.  Okay, there’s a lot of people in this episode swimming in stuff I’m pretty sure requires a booster afterwards.  Someone should get on that.

Okay, I can’t be sure how many of these creatures there are anymore.  All I know is that there’s one right behind Cutter, that is either trying to sneak up on him, or planning on getting a little too friendly.

All right, there’s something damned hilarious about the idea that even when Stephen isn’t trying to come to Cutter’s rescue, he does anyway.  The video-sub thingy (still a technical term) surfaces between Cutter and the creature.  There’s a quick glimpse of Cutter vs. the creature through the video and Stephen springs to action.  Of course, by action, I mean getting some guns and jumping into the water but without pausing long enough to take off his clothes.  Damn.

It didn’t occur to me until just now that Abby is now in a different room than Cutter, as this one has an anomaly and one really big ass future predator.  Finding that room, Connor is runs towards her, assuring her she’s safe.  As this is Connor, he must be proven wrong, just as I am proven wrong about who Murcus really is.

Connor, trying to be all heroic, gets tossed into the water instead.  He’ll never get that moment, will he?  Anyway, we go into the commercial with a bunch of screaming, but nothing particularly worrying.  I expect he’ll make it through this episode.

When Connor pulls himself out of the water, the only thing left in the room (besides the gross water) is the anomaly.  He runs towards the anomaly, in slow motion and we all know what’s happening next.

Well, we would know if the usual tropes weren’t ignored because we cut back to Cutter and Lucien who are trying to fend off three creatures with one crowbar.  At that moment, my heart jumps.

In the future, Connor rescues Abby by tossing a rock at another creature, knocking him out.

And finally, Connor gets his heroic moment.  Pulling Abby up, and away from the other creatures, there’s a second where she thinks she’ll fall.  She pleads with him to leave her and save himself with which he responds, “I can’t…I love you.”

If it weren’t for the creature rampaging about, I’d say I head crickets in response to that.

There no way to describe this other than the best timing in all millennia:  seconds before Connor does drop Abby, Cutter arrives, saving the B Team.  As happy as I am they aren’t dead, I’m a little saddened that Connor didn’t really get his hero moment.  He was going to drop Abby and imagine if the moment after he confesses how he feels he kills her.  Imagine the guilt!  On the other hand, Cutter couldn’t let that happen.

Hey, Stephen’s there also!  He tosses a gun to Cutter, who kills Murcus and the rest of the evil future crew are gunned down.

Back in the present, the SAS man the anomaly while Lucien is taken away to be checked out.  On the way, the young boy is happy both to see Abby, and to give credit to her “boyfriend” for saving them.  Insisting Connor isn’t her boyfriend inspires a look which I wish I’d seen earlier.

Lester comes and craps over everyone’s good mood.  He insults Cutter for not staying fired.  He insults Stephen for doing what Lester thought was the right idea in the first place and then insults Leek for asking a dumb question.  Okay, maybe that last one was warranted.  It doesn’t really matter as I’m a little distracted.

Poor Stephen is feeling a little chastised for not remembering the cardinal rule that Cutter is always right (except about women).  I offer to make him feel better but the people on my TV never listen when I talk to them.

Cutter and Abby have a brief debate over what Murcus and his creatures are.  Either humanity has been wiped out by Bob or those are our descendents.

At this moment, I’m all for extinction.

Back at the flat, Connor wisely suggests Abby go for a nap, instead of having what could be a potentially humiliating conversation but she won’t be put off.  This could’ve been Connor’s moment, but what does he do? He takes too long debating about chickening out and taking it back.  This means that a disaster must occur. 

Taking the out, Connor leaves with Caroline.  He may not have officially taken it back but it’s as close too as humanly possible.  Maybe evolving into giant angry walrus-like creatures isn’t such a bad idea when people can be this dumb.

Hey, it’s that guy!  The guy we saw at the mall, and at the ARC and earlier this episode!  He’s working for Leek!  Boo!  But that’s not the scariest part as the scariest is who Leek is working for.

Since Helen has Leek under her control and is clearly plotting something that can only end badly for our heroes, the walrus scenario seems better and better.

Next week:  Cute kid in danger!  Helen is back!  Jenny as the most inappropriate wardrobe ever and Stephen is still scorching hot!