True Blood: Cold Ground (Episode 106)

Previously on True Blood: Oh, my God! They killed Granny!

"GRAN'S GONE. SHE'S REALLY GONE" -- Remember "The Body"? That episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer after Buffy's mom died? Where they eliminated the soundtrack and only included ambient sound? And Buffy walked around for the entire episode numb with shock and behaved in a kind of weird, disjointed way? Well, this episode is like that. I mean, a lot like that, only bloodier. A lot bloodier. Poor Gran's still lying there in her pool of blood while Sookie stands over her, shaking. First Bill, then Sam arrive on the scene, setting the triangular tone that continues throughout the episode; both men want to be the one she turns to in her grief. They snarl around each other over the honor of metaphorically pissing in her corner while Sookie retreats more and more into herself. The two men basically end up sharing sentry duty, with Sam on the day shift and Bill on the nightshift. If Sookie never had to sleep, she could probably make that threesome work for a good long time.

Next to arrive are Sheriff Dearborn and Andy, who notes that, "People don't murder cuz they're right in the head." The usual suspects emerge: Bill, Jason, even Sookie herself, as she hears Andy wonder if "those batshit crazy Stackhouse kids" had anything to do with Adele's death. Andy seems to have developed something of a crush on "Vampire Bill," as he refers to him. Okay, that's creepy. Bill is the one who notes that all of the recent victims -- Maudette, Dawn, and now Adele -- had all welcomed the attention of vampires. When he gets chastised for daring to imagine Miz Adele Stackhouse as a fangbanger, Bill says he doesn't think Adele was the intended victim. Oooooooh!

Sookie refuses to leave her house, saying that her grandmother would have hated seeing her kitchen in such a mess, so she starts cleaning it up as soon as Adele's body is taken away. The reason for her haste is made clear the next day, when all of Bon Temps arrives with tuna cheese casserole and jello molds. "What the fuck is it with white people and jello?" Lafayette asks. Hee! It's no different, really, than the tailgate party Arlene and Rene put on when Dawn got killed; it's just covered dish instead of beer and hot wings. Sookie, of course, can still hear what people are really thinking, and it's not exactly complimentary. It takes Maxine Fortenberry rummaging in the fridge to throw Sookie off her first ledge, as she screams at Maxine for taking out the last of Gran's pie. Tara intervenes and takes Sookie (and the pie) upstairs for a little time out. She waves off Sookie's apology: "Stop worrying about being so appropriate. This is not an appropriate event." They're joined by Lafayette, who offers Sookie a Valium and safeguards her pie for her. Now that's a good friend. That's the kind of friend Dean Winchester needs. Just when we think Sookie might be starting to feel a little better, Jason (who's nursing a huge V hangover and gets the news about his grandmother's death from Hoyt and Rene when he shows up late for work because he and his skanky ho fuckbuddy were too out of it to answer the phone when Sookie called), comes barging in, races up the stairs, bursts into Sookie's room and belts her one. What the fuck, Jason??? "Granny's dead because of you. It should've been you," he shouts. Oh, no, he didn't. You suck, Jason. Tara tears a strip off him and boots him out, saying she doesn't even recognize him anymore. He's looking a little worse for the wear, no question, though if I'm truthful, his backside still looks mighty fine, and I should know -- I got an extended look at it in its full naked glory.

Jason heads outside, where he's confronted by Andy Bellefleur asking questions Jason has no interest in answering. When Andy insinuates that perhaps Jason had a hand in Adele's death, Jason throws him against the side of his truck like Andy's a puppy to be kicked to the curb. Guess that V left a little residue, huh? Lafayette, who's watching from the steps, sums it up by saying, "You is a stupid bitch, Jason Stackhouse." After that, Tara throws everybody out, including Arlene and Sam. "You're a good friend, Sam," she says, "now get the fuck out of here."

Sookie takes the Valium and drifts off to sleep, but is awoken with hands around her throat, strangling her! Oh noes! Why couldn't she have had another of those nice masturbation dreams? She whispers Bill's name, and *poof* we see Bill hear her, hear that little whisper all the way down underground in his coffin. Only, wait, maybe it's not Sookie's dream? Maybe it's Bill's? Or it's real? Which is it? As soon as the sun sets, Bill arrives in a blur of speed and lands on Sookie's bed, looking at her unmarked neck. Okay, were they sharing a dream? I don't know….does it matter? They make goo-goo eyes at each other for awhile, and Bill promises to stay and watch over her. Aww. *cough* He stands outside in the dark, watching the house, and that sweet collie dog comes and stands beside him. Make of that what you will. *hint hint*

The funeral is as sad as sad can be. Lafayette shows his respect by not wearing any head covering, and oh, my, is he a handsome man. Sookie sits holding Tara's hand and squeezes it tight when she sees an old man being wheeled in a wheelchair to the grave site. It's Adele's brother, Sookie's Uncle Bartlett, who Jason invited to the funeral because, as he says, "they don't have anyone else." From the way Sookie responds, it's clear that nothing would be infinitely preferable to old Uncle Bartlett, who has "I touched little girls in bad places" written all over him. Sookie can't believe Jason invited him, and between that and the punch, she's had about enough of Jason for right now. I have to put in a little note, though, that I'm surprised and pleased at how much Jason and Sookie look like siblings -- the casting department nailed that.

Sookie gets up to speak, describing Adele as being "everything" to her: "Parent, teacher, best friend." Then she starts hearing all the ugly things people are thinking about her, and her family, and she loses it, big time: "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She runs off into the graveyard, where she finds Bill's grave. For some people, that reminder that he's really a corpse might be a downer, but the mood Sookie's in, it's just one more interesting tidbit for the day. In the quiet aftermath of Sookie's outburst, Lettie Mae Thornton, Tara's terrible mother, steps up. She's dressed up for the occasion, clean, with a hat on her head. She admits that she wasn't always able to care for Tara like a good mother ought, and that Tara often went to the Stackhouse home. She says she knew that Tara was okay if she was with Adele. As a mom, can I just say how that touched me? To know your child is safe with another adult is a wonderful feeling. Tara is less impressed: "She was more of a mother to me than you were." She reminds Lettie Mae that Adele called Social Services on her twice, but Lettie Mae shrugs that off. She tells Tara she has a demon inside her, and when Tara laughs in her face, she says, "Don't laugh at the Devil, he's as serious as cancer." What she needs, of course, is money, for some expensive demon-vanquishing treatment. Where's Sam Winchester when you need him? He'd probably do it for a gardenburger and a large soy latte.

Jason's got his own problems, too, as he goes through some wicked V withdrawal. Maybe he and Lettie Mae could get a discount on rehab if they went in together. After the funeral, Jason tries to resist the lure of his last toilet-paper square of V, even going so far as throwing it out his truck window, but then panics when he gets out and can't find it. I tell you, we've got some hurting pups this episode.

The hurtingest of them all, though, is Sookie, in a scene that's as real as anything the show has ever given us. It's almost got a Friday Night Lights quality to it. Sookie comes into her clean, empty kitchen, pulls her Gran's pecan pie out of the fridge, peels back the plastic wrap and begins to eat it. As she tastes her grandmother's cooking for the last time, tears begin to fall, finally, as she lets the grief come. She sits there at the kitchen table, eating pie and sobbing, and I reach for a Kleenex. I wish we got more scenes like this, and less scenes like the one coming up…

"DO IT. I WANT YOU TO." -- After finishing up the pie, Sookie goes upstairs and dresses in some kind of white filmy negligee, then, accompanied by a truly bizarre soundtrack, she goes gallivanting over to Bill's house, where he smells her coming (ew!) and races out to meet her in the field, and then they try to eat each other. Only Bill succeeds. If that whole running-across-the-field thing was supposed to be romantic and sexy, it missed by about a mile. The actual seduction goes a little better, with Bill undressing Sookie in front of the fire, with candles adding a nice little glow. But does she really want to lose her virginity on the floor? And isn't it a little hot for a fire? I guess Bill's always cold… Anyway, My Ever-Patient Mister approved of Anna Paquin's breasts, so there's a plus. As they get down to it, Sookie sighs, "Do it! I want you to!" and so Bill BITES HER on the NECK and BLOOD comes POURING OUT and then they get all orgasmic. The end. Um…yuck. At least she didn't say, "I need to feel alive! Try to kill me!" so it could have been worse.

You know, I know we all experience grief in different ways: some of us lash out, some of us hibernate…and some of us fuck like rabid rabbits. While Sookie's getting her cherry popped in a scene out of some Regency novel, Jason has his own mini-breakdown mid-fuck with that divorcee he was shtupping out back by the dumpster last week, and Sam and Tara go at it again, too. Sam and Tara hook up when Sookie says she just wants to be alone; neither Sam nor Tara wants to be alone. They go back to Tara's new apartment, which is an improvement over living with her mother, but could use some work. Sam says, "No games, no strings." Tara agrees. Then Sam says, "If we do this…we really did this." Again, Tara agrees, even though it kind of contradicts that whole "no strings" thing, but I get the feeling at this point, he could say, "I'm going to hang you by your toenails and lick your face," she'd agree to that, too. The sex is so good it jolts Tara out of her bad mood, and she leaves Sam still warm and panting and goes home to her mama, cuddling on the couch with her in momentary comfort.

Some days, we just need our mamas.