Sorry for getting this recap up so late, everyone, but I've been so busy crying my eyes out over the comments left for me in last week's recap that I almost forgot all about it. I think I've just about pulled myself together, though, so let's get it on. More Amazing Race after the jump...
Team Trophy Wife Kelly & Christy still insist upon making mountains out of molehills and continue their fight with Nick & Starr. Starr at least makes a go of patching things up with the two nasty old shrews, but Christy's still sore about Aja & Ty being told to U-Turn them by Starr. "You don't even know what you just opened," adds Christy. I sure know what you opened to start all this bullshit, Christy - your big fat yap.
Anyway, back to, um, the Race and stuff. In case you've forgotten, that's why everyone's here. First-place finishers from last week Team Hatchetface start us off yet again, and their first clue instructs them to fly to Auckland, New Zealand and drive to nearby Gulf Harbor. Once there, they're to pull apart a gigantic rope knot left for them and retrieve a hint towards their next clue. It's pretty clear at the airport that all of the teams are going to be on the same flight to Auckland no matter what time they show up, but Ty wanted to keep looking around for something earlier. His girlfriend Aja wasn't having it, though, and the two got into a fight over it that was just as boring as you'd expect. These two dullards could be having a knife fight while covered in neon yellow paint and standing in the middle of Times Square on New Year's Eve, and they would STILL come off as unendingly boring. Ty starts calling Aja 'Fidel Castro' because of how bossy she's being. Yeah, Ty, like she knows who that is.
Three teams took the early lead in Auckland - Terence & Sarah, Ken & Tina, and Andrew & Dan. Aja & Ty were showing signs of life in the road race to the Gulf Harbor, but it all went to hell fairly soon for them when their tire blew, leaving Ty without any real clue of what to do about it. Hmm. Maybe if I just lie on the road and stare at it for several minues, it will fix itself, thought Ty. No such luck. Aja once again put on the relationship pants and flagged down another driver who helped them fix their flat. 'But I was so close with the staring thing!' said Ty. Fidel just glared at him.
Upon reaching the truly enormous rope knot that contained a hint towards where their next official clue envelope might be, the three lead teams found something else - the first Fast Forward of the Race. In a Fast Forward, teams are given the option of completing one special task before anyone else does. If successful, that team is given the location of the Pit Stop of that leg of the Race, thereby allowing them to skip forward ahead of all the other teams. Only one team can complete each of the two Fast Forwards in the Race. This particular Fast Forward was a rather burly one - climb to the top floor of the Auckland Skytower, the highest building in the Southern Hemisphere. From there, use the unbelievably narrow maintenance ladders on TOP of the top floor of the Skytower and climb the huge radio antenna structure to retrieve a Travelocity Gnome hidden up there. In a word, YIKES! I could barely look at the thing, so I can't imagine how Ken & Tina got the gonads to actually climb up there. However, climb it they did (narrowly beating Andrew & Ken to the entrance of the Skytower, claiming the right to try for the Fast Forward before they could), and my pants-shitting continued when the entire tower structure started SWAYING while they were on it. Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
As much as Ken & Tina annoy the hell out of me, I really have to admit that they're kicking ass in the Race so far. They completed the Fast Forward and got to take a beautiful helicopter ride to the Pit Stop and meet up with Phil. But wait! There's more. Not only did they get to finish first and claim the prize of a trip to Brazil during Carnivale, but they also got to meet Phil's dad! He was waiting there with Phil on the Pit Stop mat, and man, that was cool. I heard that Phil's original idea for the New Zealand leg of the Race was to have it end at his parent's house in Auckland, but alas, it just wasn't meant to be. How cool would that have been? How cool was Phil's dad? If you answered 'Very!', you are correct!
More than a little pissed at missing their shot at the Fast Forward, Andrew & Dan joined the rest of the teams and made their way towards the next location - the summit of Mount Eden in Auckland. See, there was a slip of paper inside that huge rope knot that told them to go directly there to find their next clue. What they also found at the foot of Mount Eden was a rather terrifying Roadblock. One team member was given a picture of a traditional Maori warrior's face tattoo, and then pointed toward a small field filled with ACTUAL traditional Maori warriors. That's right - real people in warrior garb and face tattoos, yelling and stalking around in a very Maori sort of way. Armed with the picture, the team member would have to find the face tattoo that it matched on a warrior, and then ask them for their clue. If they were right, they got it. If not, the warrior would grab their picture and run off with it, sending that team back to the start of the Roadblock with an entirely different picture. Rough. Anyone ever seen the movie 'Once Were Warriors'? If not, do so. It's awesome.
Terence got a little intimidated by the warriors, and after having his first attempt at matching his tattoo picture snatched away, he nailed it on his second try. The clue he received told he and Sarah to make their way to downtown Auckland and make their way to the rooftop of the City Life hotel. Once there, they would have to grab some binoculars and take a look around, trying to find a Travelocity gnome somewhere in the nearby cityscape below. Sarah got her eagle eyes on and found a gnome almost immediately on a rooftop nearby. They took off to find a way to get to it, and who should be running close behind them in the race but Team Nondescript, Toni and Dallas. They found their gnome rather quickly, as well, and they joined Terence & Sarah in the scramble to get to it. Through the magic of editing, both teams found their gnomes in a matter of minutes, and a note on the gnome's butt told them to go to their next location - the local Auckland landmark of Kiwi 360.
A Detour awaited teams at Kiwi 360, and the two options were as such - Matter of Time, or Matter of Skill. Matter of Time would require teams to crush kiwis with their feet, make twelve quarts of juice, and then drink a glass of it. Um... feet juice? Ew. I would drink a glass of Starr's feet juice, though. No question about it. In Matter of Skill, teams would need to assemble a wind-driven go-kart and drive three laps around a track. For my money, the kiwi smash was the way to go. Build a go-kart? Um... how about no?
There was a catch in the kiwi smashing challenge, though, and it came in the form of a layer of sharp rocks at the bottom of the giant tub of kiwis. I understand that that's how the kiwis get smashed, but still... ow. Only a few teams actually made it all the way through the kiwi stomp, but man, there was more bitching about this challenge than you can imagine. Terence & Sarah muscled their way through it, and after downing their respective glasses of feet juice, off they sprinted towards Phil's Dad and a second-place finish at the Pit Stop mat. Not too shabby. Team Trophy Wife also got through all those kiwis and took a very comfortable third place because of it.
Nick & Starr were one of the teams who couldn't stop bitching about the sharp rocks at the bottom of the kiwi tub, so they switched Detour tasks and took on the go-karts. Nick finished his three laps in no time flat, but after wiping out a handful of times, Starr took a hard fall on her arm and tore it to shreds. Not only that, but she felt sure that her lovely appendage was broken, as well. Yikes. Regardless, the brother and sister team finished the karts, hopped in their car (Nick, why the HELL would you make your smashed-up sister drive after taking a fall like that? Dumbass), and drove their dirty, bloody asses to the Pit Stop, finishing in a hard-earned fifth place. Team Douchenozzle Andrew & Dan took sixth right behind them.
The fight for the finish is on, and bringing up the rear nearly all day were Marisa and Brooke. The perky blondes remained confident, however, and it was really only a matter of minutes that separated them from Aja & Ty. In the end, though, the blondes just couldn't pull it together (a theme that seemed to have stuck with them all day), and they were eliminated by the Philiminator and Daddy Phil, who consoled the two lovely ladies with some big Kiwi-style bear hugs. Get it, Daddy Phil!
Techs and specs for the geeks -
Performed Roadblock: TERENCE, STARR, TONI, ANDREW, AJA, CHRISTY, BROOKE
Matter of Time Detour: TERENCE/SARAH, MARISA/BROOKE, KELLY/CHRISTY
Matter of Skill Detour: TONI/DALLAS, NICK/STARR, TY/AJA, ANDREW/DAN
Fast Forward: Ken & Tina
Order of Finish:
1. Ken & Tina (Three in a row! Win trip to Brazil during Carnivale)
2. Terence & Sarah
3. Kelly & Christy
4. Toni & Dallas
5. Nick & Starr
6. Andrew & Dan
7. Aja & Ty
8. Marisa & Brooke (Booted)
Alright, that's it for this week. If you're going to swear at me in the comments, at least do it well. 'Dumbassery' just isn't going to cut it.
-littlebigmouth.
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Well, I didn't know how much
Well, I didn't know how much I'd enjoy this weeks challenge, since I was so bummed to see the Geeks out of it last week. I didn't know who to pull for. Well, I decided on Marisa and Brook, figuring that at least they were southern girls like me, but, alas, I was denied once again. SO, I think I might be jinxed. Therefore I'm conducting a little experiment. I Think I'll pull for... Terrance and Sarah! Yeah, now I'm sure to break that jinx. ;);)
I have to say that I really felt for Star in this episode, and she pulled ahead in my estimation by finishing that task and not complaining as much as I thought she might. I know both what it's like to break an arm, and to feel like you broke your arm, so I can feel for her.
I'm still undecided about Ken and Tina. I think I'd like to see them come in near the bottom a couple of times to see what would happens if you put a little weight on those stress fractures. Sure, it's easy to be happy when you're winning, (and how boring is that, to have the same couple always win, especially when they take the easy way out?) I think they'll come to regret taking the fast forward when they were in the front of the pack anyway.
How cute was Phil's dad? Though had it been me, I'd have demanded a hug from junior, too. :D:D
Great recap as usual. :D:D