Smallville: Bloodline (Episode 808)

Lois arrives on Clark's doorstep with boxes of Def Leppard albums and the announcement that she's taking Clark up on his offer to move in again.  The worst thing that can happen is she'll see Clark in his Snoopy boxers.  The way she pauses to consider how unpleasant that image really isn't kind of softens the insult, though.

Lois tosses Clark a package she found on his doorstep, marked "fragile" and with no return address.  Clark opens it to find a box containing the blue shield crystal that he used to create the Fortress, and which most recently summoned Maxima and was subsequently stolen from Tess.  The crystal glows and hums at Clark's touch, and when the room around them begins to shake, he warns Lois to get out of there.  Instead, she reaches for his arm, trying to make him drop it, and there is a burst of light, trapping both of them inside a large flat shard that we know is the Phantom Zone.  It breaks a window on its way out into space.  Not quite the kind of "living together" Lois had in mind.

Kryptonian flux capacitor. Which means Clark must be the 1.21 gigawatts.

After the credits, Chloe arrives at the farm with one of Lois's boxes, wondering aloud why they're moving stuff Lois never uses.  Heh.  Chloe notices the broken window and finds the crystal lying on the floor.  She stows it in her bag just in time to find that Tess has arrived as well, wanting to know where the crystal is.  Chloe plays dumb, but Tess insists that her frequency generator recorded an energy surge from this very room.  Chloe asks what "copyboy" Clark would want with a supercomputer.  (Seriously, this copyboy business is driving me crazy.  Isn't he a reporter?  Make up your minds, writers!)  Tess, in turn, notes how quickly Chloe jumped to cover Clark's tracks, and she warns against the dangers of blind loyalty.  Chloe is touched at this advice from Lex's protégé.

Clark, meanwhile, wakes up on the wrong side of the bed in the Phantom Zone, with its delightful rocky beaches, blood-red lakes and cool gusty winds.  He registers the familiar place with a hand to his abraised forehead, and scrabbles over a hill to find Lois crumpled on the ground nearby.  He helps her to her feet, and she notes with panic that there are two suns in the sky.  They've been abducted!

At ISIS, Chloe is on the phone, finding out that Oliver is in Venezuela.  She tells the assistant to have him call her immediately.  Davis arrives to tell Chloe that his blackouts are getting worse, and he's been trying to find his birth parents to see if they could give him some insight.  Oh, Davis.  As is made clear in the Supernatural episode following this, be careful what you wish for.  He shows Chloe a folder of information on all the foster families he's lived with since the age of three, but nothing before that.  He asks Chloe for her help.  Whether he knows that no woman can say no to dimples like that, remains to be seen.

Back in the Zone, Clark and Lois hike along Bloody Beach.  Lois trips over a skeleton and begins to panic that they're going to die here, but just as Clark convinces her that "no one's gonna mess with Lois and Clark," a black-cloaked figure sails over a hill and tackles Lois to the ground, then turns to Clark.  Clark grabs the assailant's wrist and sees that it has Krypto-Barbie's fashion sense: it's Kara.

Later, Clark tends to Lois while Kara crouches silently, sharpening a rock with her knife.  Her silence is palpable.  She tosses Clark a canteen to wipe off Lois's blood, which she says the Zoners can smell.  Clark is eager to start looking for a portal back to earth, but Kara says she already did: Zor-El built her an escape hatch, but she hasn't used it because she didn't want to let any Zoners out, like Clark did.  Kara hands him the newly-fashioned knife and hopes Lois can fight.  Clark is impressed with Kara's self-sacrifice in staying here to protect earth, but Lois doesn't belong here, and he insists that she go home.  Lois wakes then, surprised that Kara has been "abducted" too.  A bit simplistic, but she's not wrong.

Oliver prepares to de-plane, but Chloe has wasted no time heading him off.  She informs him that Clark and Lois have disappeared, and shows him the blue crystal, Clark's link to his Kryptonian heritage.  Quickly handing it back to her, Oliver explains that he's hands-off when it comes to Clark's..."that."  Party pooper.  Chloe just needs him to steal a piece of equipment that will help her hack into the crystal's database and reverse the effects.  Oliver is understandably dubious about the advisability of hacking alien technology, not to mention how Chloe plans to do it, but Chloe insists she knows what she's doing.  This doesn't reassure Oliver, but when Chloe tells him the equipment belongs to Tess, he smiles: "Why didn't you just say so?"

Clark, Lois and Kara trek through the lovely rocky terrain to the entrance to the portal's cave.  Clark urges Lois to go ahead with Kara -- he will stay behind to guard the entrance, but he promises to be right behind her.  Inside the cave (which is very like the Fortress of Solitude, except black), Kara and Lois approach the "altar", a podium on which is carved the S-symbol of the House of El.  "This is our Delorean?" Lois asks.  Ha!  Great minds.  They hear the sound of Clark struggling outside, and Kara cuts her hand and wipes it on the altar.  A portal opens, and though Lois wants to wait for Clark, Kara pushes her through it.  Just then, a wraith zooms into the room and shoves Kara aside, slipping into the portal just before it closes.

A flash of light, and Lois wakes up in a rail yard under a bridge at night.  She gets up slowly, calling for Clark.  The wraith rushes up behind and through Lois, possessing her.  Ooh, does this mean she's Bizarro!Lois now?  Bizarro!Lois checks her reflection in an abandoned car window, and declares that this will do.

Later, after showering and visiting the make-up counter at Macy's, Bizarro!Lois speed-reads through newspaper articles on Lois's computer at the Planet.  Tess enters, and it isn't long before she realizes something is off with the intrepid Ms. Lane.  Bizarro!Lois states simply that she needs to find her son.  Playing along, Tess asks who the father is.  "A great leader, General Zod," Bizarro!Lois answers, explaining that their "creation" arrived on earth attached to the Kryptonian spacecraft that brought baby Kal-El.  To her credit, Tess is unfazed, submitting that she, too, is searching for a Kryptonian artifact: the crystal that was stolen from her.  She suggests they combine resources and work together.  Wait -- Tess knows the crystal is Kryptonian?  When did that puzzle piece fall into place?  Anyway, Bizarro!Lois knows she's being played, and Krypto-speeds herself outta there.

Back in the Fortress of Zone-itude, Clark stumbles in and finds Kara pinned and bleeding under a fallen stalactite.  As he struggles to free her, she begs him to escape, insisting that it is her destiny to protect him, not the other way around.  Clark refuses to go without her.

At ISIS, Chloe receives a text from Oliver telling his "Watchtower" that he's approaching the target.  Aww.  The warm fuzzies are interrupted by the arrival of Bizarro!Lois, who does not return Chloe's hug of relief.  Bizarro!Lois addresses her as "Chloe Sullivan" and, having read her articles, demands to hear what Chloe knows about the Kryptonian spacecraft that landed in Smallville.  She identifies herself as Zod's Lady MacBeth, Faora, and grabs Chloe's throat, perhaps thinking she can literally squeeze information about her son out of Chloe.  Chloe drops a file containing a picture of Davis, and Faora releases her.  "Thank you," she says, and superspeeds away.  What, he has a sign on his forehead that says, "Son of Zod, Ask Me How"?

At Luthor mansion, Green Arrow creeps over a skylight and lets himself onto the balcony of Tess's office.  He vaults over the railing onto the floor, which is one of my kinks, damn him.  Finding the frequency generator on Tess's desk, he stops short at the sound of a gun being cocked.  He turns to find Tess, who demands to know who he works for.  Oliver, in his altered Green Arrow voice, claims to be self-employed, and tosses a dart at her.  Tess freezes, and he catches her as she falls, assuring her that she'll only be paralyzed for a few minutes and will be back to her "cuddly, charming self" in no time.  Oliver lays her gently on the sofa, scoops up the generator and skips out.

At Metropolis General, Faora makes her way through the ER to find Davis patching up a little boy.  She watches, confused, as Davis gives the kid a high five and sends him on his way.  Davis greets "Lois" and asks what she's doing there.  Befuddled by his kindness, Faora asks whether "all that human carnage" is not his doing.  I guess they get the newsletter in the Phantom Zone?  Or, more likely, she read about it earlier on the world's fastest microfiche.  Trying not to freak out, Davis offers to find her a doctor, but Faora simply hugs him: "All I need is you, my son.  Mother's here."  Davis's face: "What.  The hell."

At ISIS, Chloe explains to Oliver that the Phantom Zone is like an "alien Alcatraz," which is a surprisingly good comparison, actually.  Chloe must bail Clark out of there before "Lo-bot" does irreparable damage down here.  Oliver thinks that's all fine and dandy, but it doesn't explain how Chloe plans to hack the crystal without any computer equipment.  Chloe: "Do I tell you how to shoot your arrows?  I don't think so."  Hee.  She holds her hand over the frequency generator containing the crystal, and it starts to spin, and there is accompanying wind and flashing light.  Blood drips from Chloe's nose as she concentrates, and when her eyes open to reveal that they're totally white, Oliver decides playtime is over.  Chloe, however, shoves him one-handed into the next room, where he is knocked unconscious.  Chloe's is fierce, y'all.

Back in the Fortress of Zone-itude, Clark continues to try to free Kara, who is starting to fade.  She wipes her blood on his hand and tells him to open the portal and go home, but he insists that she IS his home.  Sniff.  Suddenly a force of violet light plunges through the ceiling and yanks Clark up by his feet.  He grasps the stalactite to brace himself and yells for Kara to take his hand and come with him -- she's meant for more than to rot in the Phantom Zone.  She clasps his hand, and the violet light yanks them both through a fissure, into ISIS.

Chloe nearly collapses from her efforts, and a now injury-free Clark jumps up to hug her, wondering what the hell she did.  Chloe wipes the blood from her nose and declines to answer, but explains that Lois has been infected by Faora.  Clark instructs Kara to go to Metropolis PD and ask John Jones (AKA J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Manhunter) for "his crystal -- he'll know what you mean."  That's good, because I don't.  Chloe warns Clark that Lois has all of his abilities and none of his inhibitions.

Davis brings "Lois" some coffee in an empty hospital room, hoping it will fend off the crazy, but Faora doesn't let up.  She tells Davis he's the spitting image of his father.  Davis is all, "No more drugs for you," but Faora challenges that his blackouts indicate that his body is still evolving.  I think his body is just fine how it is, but I suppose Kryptonians have different taste?  Faora explains that before she and Zod were phantoms, they were unable to have children; but they created genetic matter containing their planet's most powerful life forms (and, apparently, Zod's baby browns) which would eventually evolve into earth's destruction.  Davis: "Um, I drive an ambulance."  Heh.  Upon witnessing Davis's human interactions, Faora has realized that he is still too weak to fulfill his family's legacy.  With that, she breaks off a hospital bed rail and impales him with it.  Surprise!  Davis falls to the floor, and Faora kneels by his ear, whispering, "That which kills you makes you stronger."  She kisses his cheek and tells him she'll be back when he is ready.

Tough love.

Faora lets herself into the hall, where Clark breezes in and confronts her.  Um, how did he know she was here?  She tells him that he's too late, that even though Zod is gone, their creation will destroy this world.  Clark tries to communicate with the Lois inside, and Faora realizes that Clark has feelings for her.  "Like father like son," she sneers, and shoves him through the exterior wall of the hospital.  He lands on an ambulance below, crushing it, and Faora jumps on top of him, clutching his throat.  Just then, Kara arrives, holding up Martian Manhunter's red shield crystal, which fixes Faora in a beam and sucks her out of Lois's body and into the crystal.  I cannot for the life of me remember this happening before, though we are clearly meant to recognize the device.  Lois's body collapses on top of Clark, unconscious.

Back at Met General, Davis lies in a pool of his own blood, clearly dead...until he suddenly opens his eyes, freaked out.  I feel you, dude.  Blood is sticky.

The next morning at the Planet, Lois finds Clark and reports that she just met with Tess and came away with a raise.  Curious that this came out of the blue, Clark asks if Lois saw Tess yesterday, but Lois only remembers touching the crystal, having a bizarre "Arabian nights acid trip," and waking up confused.  Clark agrees that it was weird that Lois just passed out like that, but now with her living at the farm, he can keep an eye on her.  Lois, however, has decided instead that her raise means she can get a place of her own, "without farm animals."  Uh, if the producers have scraped enough money to build another set, can we have Oliver's penthouse back instead?

One of Tess's aides enters to summon Clark to Tess's office.  When he arrives, she tells him of Lois's ramblings about a Kryptonian spacecraft carrying someone called Kal-El.  Clark dismisses this as hallucination.  Tess produces a photograph of a muddy bootprint she snapped from his driveway, overlays it with the bootprint her aides found in the arctic, and declares that Clark was the last person to see Lex alive.  Ta-da!  The woman is not afraid to take a leap, I'll give her that.  She believes that Clark is hiding something about Lex's disappearance, and hopes that one day Clark will realize that they are on the same side.  She wants to trust him, and to understand why Lex didn't.

Clark arrives home to find Oliver waiting for him in the living room: "Hallmark didn't have any Welcome Back to Earth cards, so..."  Heh.  Clark thanks him for his role in bringing him back, but Oliver says it's really down to Chloe channeling her inner supercomputer: her eyes turned white and she pushed him one-handed into the other room.  Which, uh, doesn't make him feel like less than a man or anything, but he'd still like to know what the hell's up with that.  Clark explains about Brainiac, and Oliver asks what Clark is doing about it.  Clark argues that he's tried talking to Chloe, but he can't control her life.  Oliver submits that she's not living her life anymore, and that Clark had better stop her before she gets hurt.  Aww, Green Arrow wuvs his Watchtower, y'all.  Fuzzies!

Later, Kara finds Clark in the loft, gazing at the blue crystal in its box.  She wonders why he isn't back at the north pole yet, but after the crystal's recent shenanigans, Clark doesn't trust it to rebuild the Fortress.  It does seem to have a case of split personality.  Build!  Destroy!  Summon!  Banish!  It has more moods than a Hogwarts staircase.  Kara heard rumors in the Zone that part of Kandor (her home city on Krypton) may have survived the explosion, and she has decided to leave Smallville to see if she can find it and save their bloodline.  Clark wants to go with her, but Kara insists that Clark's destiny is to live among humans and inspire mankind.  Seriously, because we're going to need it if we're going to prevail against Zod and Faora's...well, Doomsday.  If you receive my meaning.

They embrace, and Kara shows Clark a necklace with a pendant featuring the symbol of the House of El.  She promises to keep him close to her heart.  They smile at each other, and she flies away into the night.

And, uh, speaking of my meaning, we return to the hospital, where Davis lets himself into an empty autopsy room.  He unbuttons his shirt and feels his chest, which bears no sign of injury.  Crossing to the instruments table, he picks up a large butcher-knife-looking thing.  He stares at it, registering the craziness of what he's about to do, and Sam Witwer deserves credit for infusing this moment with the full spectrum of emotion that Davis must be feeling.  He places the point of the knife at his chest and hesitates, psyching himself up, then takes a deep breath and stabs.  The blade shatters, and the pieces fly in all directions.  Davis stares down at the hilt of the knife as he realizes that...what killed him made him stronger.

The fractured face of Doomsday.

BADASS.