Chuck: Chuck Versus the Fat Lady (Episode 207)

Handler and Handled So Guy LeFleur had in his possession, before he died, a list of CIA code names for the agents he wanted his bioweapon for nefarious reasons. The lady General B tells Casey and Sarah that it is a potential list of CIA agents working for fulcrum. They are to take Chuck to Guy's hotel room and see if he flashes on anything that could be that list of names. It has to be done off the books, since the FBI's guarding the room. Casey thinks this will be cake, since the FBI ranks slightly lower than SpongeBob in his estimation. Chuck tells Jill that he's headed to the hotel with Sarah, but not in a sexy way. Jill pumps him for information about Sarah, but all Chuck will admit is that she's objectively maybe not hideous. He assures her that nothing about their job is sexy or glamorous, which is of course cue to Sarah, dressed in fishnets and red lipstick, posing as an escort, since that's how most businessmen use the hotel.

With a little John McClane vent-crawling action (and not a little bit of complaining from our epinonymous hero), they break into Guy's room, where Chuck locates a Venetian puzzle box. Just as the team finds the box, however, a Fulcrum goon shoots the FBI agents (who know him by sight) holding down the fort outside, and the team barely makes it out before the Fulcrum goon drags the bodies in to make his own search.

Back in their own room, Chuck is able to decode the puzzle box for Sarah and Casey using a Fibonacci sequence, but once opened, the box expells a red (possibly toxic) powder. He and sarah, hit directly in their faces, freak and jump in the shower, in their underwear, for an unsexy detoxing scrubdown. Chuck does seem to have a momentary hormonal meltdown at the sight of Sarah's bare back there for the scrubbing, but it's fleeting. Jill, having heard suspicious chatter in the vents when Chuck accidentally turned on his iPhone, busts in just as Chuck and Sarah are exiting the shower.

The red powder, however, turns out to be nothing more than fruit punch. Chuck, despite his initial better judgment, folds in the face of Jill's displeasure and tells her about the looking for the thing and the finding of the other thing and the fruit punch. Jill's first question is, strangely, "What kind of fruit punch?" Chuck blindfolds her and takes her to the Orange Orange stronghold, where she explains to the aghast Casey and Sarah that Guy was a puzzle nut, and the powder was probably another puzzle. She figures out the exact formula of the powder, which turns out to be a raspberry flavor of Hi-C. Since the box is a music box, Chuck figures the key to unlocking it again is a literal high C. Which Casey produces spontaneously, having been a choir boy. "What?" he says. "I wasn't hatched!"

Under the music mechanism is a set of opera glasses which, per Chuck's flash, have a handle that is also a key. He thinks they'll find the lock to said key at the opera. Jill shows Chuck to Guy's family opera box, and he quickly finds a lock for the key, which opens a trap door. Under the trap door is another locked box. How did this guy ever have time to do secret research? He was right to be paranoid, however, since the Fulcrum goon shows up yet again, just as Casey's opened the box and revealed another mosaic puzzle, this time of sheet music. Attached to a timer. Indicating, as Sarah intones, that the box is a bomb.

Though Sarah and Casey's first instinct is to get the Intersect the heck out of that opera house, Jill and Chuck want to solve the puzzle. The opera being performed (well, at this moment, practiced) is Verde's La Traviatta. Jill and Chuck scramble to put the notes in order as Casey clears the theater. Sarah tries to pull Chuck away, but he sides with Jill, saying she's yet to be wrong. Just as they put the pieces in place, something pops in the box: a flash drive that presumably contains the list of Fulcrum agents.

While the flash drive is decoded, Chuck takes some unsanctioned by Emmett time away from the Buy More to make time with Jill some place not entirely under surveillance. Morgan scrambles to cover for Chuck--he's wounded on the one hand that Chuck hasn't told him about Jill, which even Emmett seems to know about (thanks to Lester and Jeff, who cave when their poker night is threatened), and on the other, both totally unwavering in his support for his friend and his loyalty to the great country of Buy More-ia where he works and plays. And, incidentally, brings in illegal Canadian game-decrypters so that he and Chuck never have to pay for video games again. Rent and rip, that's Morgan's philosophy. He accidentally tells Emmett that Chuck is leaving the Buy More with Jill. Emmett lets him keep poker night with Lester and Jeff, and, flush with the knowledge that he's about to deport Chuck from Buy More-ia, joins them with a few wine coolers. Morgan wins the day for himself and the kingdom of Buy More-ia by using some espionage tricks learned in the Harry Tang days: he gets video footage of Emmett in Big Mike's office, mocking the man, the marlin, and the Buy More. Morgan tells Emmett that, once and for all, when Chuck goes offsite for an install, he's offsite for an install, and that's all she wrote. And thus goes Emmett into Morgan's back pocket.

Chuck and Jill make a pit stop on their way to have sex without spying eyes watching, and in the three seconds it takes Chuck to buy snack food, Jill gets herself taken hostage by the Fulcrum goon, who wants the flash drive. Chuck, in a panic, actually faces off both Casey and Sarah and steals the flash drive before sealing the agents inside their own bunker. Sarah, after spending the hour making doe eyes at Chuck and being sad that he's no longer lusting after her unavailable bod, is unable to shoot him per Casey's many shouted demands. Chuck takes the flash drive, given that he thinks Jill's life is at risk, and pauses at the Buy More just long enough to get something from his locker and stare meaningfully at Morgan's. Meanwhile, Sarah and Casey track him downtown to the opera house.

The Fulcrum goon still has a crying Jill in a choke hold when Chuck faces him down, but Casey and his gun are hot on the Intersect's heels. Fulcrum goon is like, hey, I have a sharpshooter ready to take out your Nerd here. And then Sarah totally kicks the guy's ass and gets the gun, so Casey can do the John McClane "I have a sniper rifle now ho ho ho" thing. (So many Die Hard references, people, and it makes me happy.) But before anyone can shoot anyone else, despite Casey's total willingness to shoot Jill, Chuck, AND the fulcrum guy, Chuck slides the flash drive across the floor. Fulcrum goon crushes it beneath his heel and shoves Jill to Chuck. He runs before Sarah and Casey can get a good shot at him. Sarah watches Chuck comfort Jill with a sad, unrequited look in her eye.

Outside, Casey does not shoot Chuck in the head for giving away classified information to an enemy combatant, and Chuck proves that he's not a completely terrible spy, having used Morgan's video game copier to rip a new copy of the flash drive for government use. Casey once again does not shoot him, because he is benevolent like that. In another part of the parking lot, Sarah tells Jill not to hurt Chuck again. She says it's her job to protect him, from anything.

And then, as the information decrypts again, Chuck finally gets laid. Jill throws her sweater over the camera, saying she's got some spy moves of her own.

Casey and Sarah watch as names and faces of Fulcrum agents flash by. The one that gets them running, guns at the ready: Jill Roberts.

Who's driving with Chuck in as her shotgun rider, having left his GPS-tracked watch at home in his state of post-coital, stupid bliss.