Sorry for skipping last week's "unaired footage" ep, y'all. I'm pretending it's because I couldn't bear to see Randy do anything more than sit over there on the jury bench and keep his trap shut, but the truth is I spent Thanksgiving night with a truckload of family, a few too many vodka tonics, and an accidental viewing of Twilight with my niece…because nothing says THANK YOU, GOD like a teenage vegetarian vampire who sparkles. What did I miss?
Nobag returns to camp on Night 30 still gigging about Randy's ouster, except for Bob, who seems to conveniently forget his own role in Randy's humiliation and takes Sugar, in particular, to task for sticking it in Randy's face. Sugar apologizes, then calls Corinne on her two-facedness, for pretending to be nice when all along she can't stand them. Corinne's true colors definitely show now that she's backed in a corner with only Bob as an ally. "I'm in a camp of mutants," she says. Yeah, well, those mutants are kicking your ass, Corinne.
The next morning, Bob and Kenny catch a HUGE fish, which Bob proceeds to cook on a special plate he made out of a tin can. He certainly is handy, that Bob! Ken appreciates his skills, but says he's not good at the game, just at building things…like fake immunity necklaces, one presumes.
The Reward Challenge, AKA, "Skin-Burrowing Parasites For All!" takes place at a swamp that looks lovely and green until you try to walk in it, at which time it becomes a big, brown, stinking mess of ewwwwwww. The tribe will be divided into two teams of three. They'll race out into the nasty-ass swamp, where they'll find stations with seven sprocket-shaped puzzle pieces. After bringing all their puzzles pieces back, they have to put them in order so they work like gears, raising their team flag. The winning team then competes individually to complete a slide puzzle -- the fastest finisher wins the reward.
What is it? It's a video from home, courtesy of the Samsung Instinct Jeff's holding in his hand. He plays a greeting for each player, leading to the first of about twenty Kleenex I need during the course of the episode. I'm a mess! *SNIFF* Crystal's husband and daughter, Ken's sister, Susie's husband and son, Bob's wife, Corinne's whole family, Matty's smokin' hot girlfriend, and Sugar's sister all get their moment to send virtual love and encouragement to the tribe members. They're all a mess like me, even Ken, who's embarrassed that his sister made him cry. Sugar, little Miss Empathy, is a basketcase even before she hears her sister say that their dad is looking down on Sugar. *SNIFF* I wonder how close his death was to the time she left for Gabon? Her grief feels very fresh.
The reward winner will get a longer video message and a nice snack of pizza, brownies and beer. Totally worth playing for, they all agree.
Susie and Crystal draw rocks that let them choose the first member of their team. Susie pick Matty while Crystal chooses Sugar. Then Matty picks Ken and Sugar picks Bob. Who does that leave out? Corinne, who sees the writing on the wall, saying, "I don't know what to do to save myself." Um, you could go back to that "pretending to be nice" thing and see if you can sell it better the second time around? Just a thought.
For a while, it looks like Matty, Ken and Susie will smoke the challenge -- they're first back with both sets of sprockets and have a big time advantage over the slower Crystal, Sugar, and Bob, who really struggle in the swamp. But Bob throws together those gears in about a minute, and boom, up goes the flag. He manages the slide puzzle even more quickly, surprising Jeff with his puzzly awesomeness, and WINS! Yay, Bob! The message from his wife had said that she hoped he was having the adventure of a lifetime, and he said he's the luckiest guy in the world. *SNIFF*
Bob gets a nice couch to sit on for his pizza/beer/brownie/video love. He settles in to watch. In the message, his wife says, "I have something to show you" and gets up, going off camera. He's confused, wondering what it could be…when she shows up! Right there in Gabon! All clean and pink and happy! Awww! They laugh and laugh -- Bob can't believe she's really there. "We're in Africa!" he says. They're very, very cute together.
Bob takes her back to camp and introduces her to the rest of the tribe, who seem genuinely happy to see her, but heartsick because they didn't get their loved ones…AND THEN THEY DO!!!! Bob whistles, and over the ridge come Crystal and Susie's husbands, Corinne, Sugar, and Ken's siblings, and Matty's did-I-mention-that-she's smokin' hot girlfriend. Hugs abound while I grab yet another Kleenex. *SNIFF* It's pretty funny to see how they interact: Ken takes his sister aside and immediately start talking strategy with her. Corinne explains how her brother knows how mean she is and loves it. Sugar's sister brought some of their father's ashes with her, and they sit on the dock while Sugar says a lovely tribute to her dad. They sprinkle the ashes in the water while Sugar says, "Have fun in Africa, Dad."
*GIANT SNIFF*
Matty talks about how he hasn't really wanted to grow up, and has felt like he's weak, but that now he really wants his girlfriend to know how much he values her. He's a mess, too, as he tries to tell her how he feels, finally settling on, "I want to share everything with you! I want you to be my wife!" Jamie's like, "Oh, I know, me, too" but she doesn't really seem to get it until he flat out says, "Will you marry me?" and presents her with a necklace he made, and, finally, gets down on his knees and hugs her around the waist. OMG, SO SWEET!!! *SNIFF* *SNIFF* *SNIFF* He's a great guy; she's a lucky girl. I hope they'll be as happy together as Bob and his wife obviously are. It makes my romantic little heart go pitter-pat!
As the loved ones leave, Bob wraps his arms around Matty and gives him a huge hug. You guys! You're killing me here! *ONE LAST SNIFF* Okay, let's take a break and everybody go blow their noses and mop up their faces. Done? Moving on!
Day 33 brings treemail, which Bob and Corinne offer to go get. While they're out and about (and the Fab Fang Five is back at camp deciding it's time for Bob to go), Bob sells Corinne on the idea of trying to pull the fake idol maneuver again. He tells her he'd make another idol, and give it to her if he wins Immunity, and then they'd let the other people know she has it, and she'd be safe. It depends on one or the other winning, but it's a better plan than anything else she's got going, so she agrees.
The Immunity Challenge has two parts: first, they'll answer questions about Gabon, winning balls for each correct answer. Then they'll throw the balls at a target, with the closest ball to the center winning Immunity. So what did I learn about Gabon? Well, I learned that gorillas were discovered there in the 1840s. I learned that a female elephant is called a cow (males are bulls), Gabonese vipers can fell you where you stand, and an elephant's trunk is its nose and its arm, but not its mouth. DUH. Sugar and Bob kick ass at the questions, but Bob proves to have the defter hand at throwing into the center of the target -- of all the balls thrown, he had not just the closest, but the second closest as well, and wins Immunity. Bob, scrawny, bow-tied builder that he is, has proven to be quite the capable physical player, and is certainly one of the better mental players we've had since Yul.
Bob says he hopes to lure two of the former Fang member to vote with him and Corinne because he thinks it's his best chance to blindside Matty. Oh, no, not Matty! Come on, I already lost Marcus; don't take Matty, too! Especially now that he's washed his hair and doesn't look quite so much like he rolled in engine oil! Bob and Corinne go over the plan again -- she's going to pretend she has an idol that Bob gave her. Where did Bob get it? Well, remember when Marcus got them to throw away the idol on the beach? Bob's going to say Marcus threw an empty bottle, stuck the idol in his pocket and showed Bob where it was, but got voted off before he could use it. Huh. That's so crazy it just might work! We're not dealing with MIT grads, here.
Corinne approaches Kenny -- smart move -- and tells him the whole story, including the plan to take Matty out. Ken says, "I might have to jump alliances," accepting her story at face value. One down, one to go. Bob goes to the bead store and makes a nifty necklace out of glass beads and some kind of medal medallion. Like the other one he made, it totally passes muster, but I'm going to call foul. He describes himself as a "magpie," suggesting that he's been collecting these beads for just such an occasion, but I'm a little skeptical. It's not like the elephants and gorillas are out there in the jungle pooping beads and medallions, so where's he getting all this stuff???
Bob shows the necklace to Crystal, telling her the same story Corinne told Kenny, now complete with Exhibit A. Crystal's thrilled with the idea of getting out Matty, who's pretty stiff competition. Things are looking good for Bob and Corinne…right up to the moment that Kenny outsmarts himself.
Ken goes to Crystal to gloat and glee with her about the nefarious plan, and tells her to be sure to vote for Corinne. Wait. What? He wants Crystal to vote for Corinne, along with, he assumes, Matty, Sugar and Susie. Then he, Bob, and Corinne will vote for Matty. Corinne will use the idol and the vote will bounce to Matty. The result? Matty's gone AND the idol's been flushed out. Win win! Except…the idol's not real. Corinne and Bob hedged their bets selling Ken and Crystal on the idol, but not telling them the rest of the story. This isn't a case where I give a shit, since I don't care about Corinne, but I think it's interesting that they brought Ken in only so far, and then he fucked it up for them.
At Tribal Council there's a lot of talk about paranoia and flipping alliances, which visibly alarms Matty, as well it should. Crystal says the key to the game is, "When to trust, and when to cut your ties," which alarms Matty even more.
After the votes are cast, Jeff says it's time for anyone who has a hidden immunity idol to play it. Ken looks at Corinne, smiles, and nods. Corinne stares back at him blankly because, of course, she has nothing to play.
Um….oops?
The vote goes three for Corinne, three for Matty. Then Jeff reads the final vote -- Corinne. She's out! Now she and Randy can go off and bitch to their hearts' content about how horrible and awful all these people are, and Marcus and Charlie can get back to their jungle love.
Wow, Ken really screwed the pooch. Without Crystal's vote, the vote would have been 5-2 for Corinne. Either she would have been gone anyway, or she'd have played the idol and the remaining two votes would have been enough to get Matty out. As it is, now Matty knows someone flipped on him. Though it might have been Crystal writing Matty name down, the root of the betrayal can be traced straight back to Ken.
Six people left, all of them reasonably likeable, all of them playing decent games. I call that a win.
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