The Office - "The Surplus" (Episode 509)

Oscar reviews the branch's fiscal year-end financial statement with Michael. Michael blankly stares at the pages of figures and then asks Oscar to explain what he's looking at "like I'm an eight-year-old." Despite Oscar's best efforts, it's clear that Michael has no idea what he's talking about. Oscar tells Michael that the office has a surplus of $4,300 that must be spent by the end of the day or it will be deducted from the next year's budget. Michael still has no grasp of the finances and asks Oscar to explain it to him "like I'm a five-year-old." Oscar sets up the analogy that Michael's parents gave him $10 to set up a lemonade stand over the summer and, after getting all of the supplies, it only ended up costing $9, so he would give the dollar back to his parents. Oscar continued that the next summer - Michael interjected "I'd be six." - the parentals would then only give him $9 for his business efforts. Michael still looks lost (whatever did he do when Oscar wasn't there?) but Oscar again reiterates that the surplus needs to be spent by the end of the day and suggests that Michael replace the branch's antiquated copy machine. Michael finally says "I think I'm getting you."

Michael announces to the staff that "Christmas has come early" and announces that the branch's surplus will be used to buy a new copier. This announcement gets a less-than-enthuisiastic reaction by pretty much everyone besides Oscar. Michael asks if someone has a better idea for the funds, much to Oscar's dismay, and Pam asks for new chairs. Michael sides with her request and Oscar makes another plea for a new copier, arguing that since they're a paper company, they should really have a decent copier. Oscar and Pam debate and Michael is left with a decision to make. He says the gang has to decide on what to spend the money on and Stanley announces that he's on "Team Chair" with Pam (Stanley looks like a "Team Chair" kinda guy. I'm just happy to see him - it's been so long!) Toby says Michael should really spend the money on getting the air quality in the office tested since they were surrounded by radon and absestos, which Toby called "silent killers." Michael retorted and told Toby that he was the real "silent killer." Pam said that Meredith, Stanley and Jim were on Team Chair with her, but Jim said he actually thought a copier was needed more. Pam was shocked that Jim went against her. Jim confessed to the documentary crew that since he and Pam were dating, he's made his own copies (because he felt weird asking Pam to do it) and knows first hand that the current copier is a piece of crap. Meredith and Creed compliment Jim in standing up to Pam (I love how everyone seems to have a game of solitaire running on their computers.) Michael is left to make the decision and obviously doesn't know what to do.

Andy and Angela are having a meeting with Dwight about the wedding arrangements at Schrute Farms. Andy says he's confused about the directions ("156 paces from the light red mailbox make a left. Walk until you hear the beehive.") Angela's biggest concern is that there is only one bathroom. Dwight volunteers to dig a trench. Angela says that "Nana and Mimi cannot squat over some trench." Andy says they can all work something out before the wedding. He says that he and Angela are getting married at Schrute Farms "no matter what." He says he's looked at 12 venues, lost eight deposits and hasn't seen Angela naked yet. Pam sees Jim in the breakroom and tells him he should really reconsider his decision. Really reconsider it. Jim asks if she's threatening him and Pam says she loves him but he's on "very dangerous ground". Over at Schrute farms, Dwight shows the happy couple the barn where they'll have their receiving line. Dwight promises to clean out the livestock, hay and such before the ceremony. Andy asks "What's that smell?" Dwight says "You're going to need to be more specific." Angela tells Dwight to clean up the manure as well. Dwight says the manure kills the smell of the slaughterhouse. Angela asks if the slaughterhouse has to be operating on her wedding day and Dwight responds, "You want to eat, don't you?" Andy asks that if they paid extra, could Dwight arrange for the "entrees" to be killed the day before. Dwight tells him he'll "consider it". Andy was excited he was making progress and then stepped in a heaping pile of poop. Pam has moved her appeal for new chairs into Michael's office. She reminded him that he was supposed to replace her chair a while back, when he was promised a new chair. Oscar came in and invited Michael to lunch. Jim overheard the invitation and invited himself along. Michael was thrilled and the trio headed out. Pam said "it is so on."

Pam is ready to play hardball to get a new chair. She applied some fire engine red lipstick and tousled her hair. She asks "How is it possible that in five years I've had two engagement rings and one chair?" The boys come back from their lunch date laughing uproariously. Jim brought Pam some tiramisu, which she promptly chucked into the trash can. Ouch. Pam then headed back into Michael's office in full flirty mode. She complemented him on his tie ($4 at TJ Maxx) and Michael took the opportunity to show off his $9 pants (shaking his booty in the process.) Pam tells Michael that everyone sits in a chair every day but not everyone (Michael again interjects "sits on a copier") uses the copier every day. Back at the farm, Dwight asks Angela if she's decided what shape she wants for the butter sculpture - cow, goat or sheep. Angela (of course) wants a cat. Dwight says that cats don't make butter, but Angela insists on a cat. Andy reminds everyone that they're "on the same team" and again steps in a pile of poop (in the kitchen.) Pam is using the copier with limited success, much to Jim's amusement. (Is it just me, or has Pam gotten more and more annoying over the course of the season? She was mildly annoying during the whole microwave thing and she's kind of bugging me tonight. I'm firmly on Team Copier. Sorry, Stanley.) Everyone in the office is kissing up to Michael, hoping to sway him to their side (Stanley even smiled!)  

Dwight showed Andy and Angela another barn, this one decorated with lights and folding chairs - set u for a ceremony already. Dwight suggests they have a practice run with Andy playing father of the bride and Dwight playing the groom. There's even a minister on the scene, who only speaks German. He "practices" the vows with Dwight and Angela, who both say "I do" and Dwight even gives Angela a "ring" made of twine (that Dwight is a sneaky one!) Back at the office, Hank the security guard respinds to a call. Michael made the call, hoping Hank would make the decision on how to spend the $4,300 so he wouldn't have to. Hank checked out the copier and Pam's chair, but couldn't come to a decision either. Angela told Dwight that she made a mkistake picking Andy and Dwight let her in on his little secret. (Andy thought he was signing a reciept, but he really signed Dwight and Angela's marriage license.) Angela was not happy, saying "it doesn't count" and insisted that they were not married. Dwight said it wasn't his fault that she didn't understand German. Michael called David Wallace at corporate and tried to ask for his help - in between coughing fits brought on by the cocoa powder on his tiramisu. David suggested he just return the surplus to the company and take the 15% bonus he gets as a branch manager who came in under budget. Apparently, Michael was unaware of this option. Michael says he hates to disappoint anyone and he loves Burlington Coat Factory - and with $645 to spend there, "you are literally a king."

Michael announces that he's made his decision and declares that the office doesn't need a new copier or new chairs (delivering his speech from Pam's "Urkel-nomically correct" chair, which is slowly descending to the ground as he speaks.) Oscar thinks that Michael finally found out about the bonus and asked him what 15% of $4,300 was. Michael immediately replied "$645" and Kevin thought Michael was a genius. Oscar asked Michael another math question - which he couldn't answer - and told everyone Michael's plan to collect the bonus money. Everyone was irked (except Kevin, who asked Michael another mathematical question.) Michael says he doesn't need the $645, because he already had $645, "more or less" and made a beeline for his office. Michael was trying to figure out a new way to keep the $645 for himself without making everyone hate him. Angela came up to Andy and proceeded to make out with him, in an obvious attempt to irk Dwight. She then walked off to attend to a "legal issue." Everyone gathered in Michael's office and wanted to know what his decision was. Michael leaves the decision up to them - and if they can't come to a consensus by the end of the day, he'll keep the bonus (clearly assuming they'll never come to a decision.) Moments later, Pam and Oscar tell Michael that they've decided on the chairs. Michael (in a fur coat) summed up with "What have we learned this week? One, thanks to me, my team has become much, much faster in coming to decisions than I thought they would be. Number two, never buy a fur coat with a credit card until you absoultely have the money to pay for it. And three, you should know that some people think it's cool to throw buckets of fake blood on you as you are walking out of Burlington Coat Factory." As for Jimnpam, Jim admitted that Pam "won", but got the last laugh as he asked Pam to make three copies of a document for him. He was only kidding - he needed four copies. Touche, Jim!