30 Rock: Reunion (Episode 305)

Things are all topsy turvy this week at 30 Rock. Unicorn-loving Kathy seemingly willed her dad to wake from his extended coma, squashing Jack's CEO dreams as Mr. Geist decided his work at NBC was unfinished.

Kenneth is getting more laughs than Tracy in the elevators, causing Tracy (and eventually Jenna) great distress, naturally. And Liz attends her 20-year high school reunion only to find out she wasn't the lovable nerd she thought she was. Instead, she was the class bully with a razor-sharp tongue, causing the most popular girls in school to have facial ticks and years of therapy.

Jack, devastated from his career blow, charters himself and Lemon a jet to Miami: he on his way to Miami for some "ass", she: a suburb of Philly. A forced landing leaves Jack stuck in Liz's hometown for the night. When he discovers the place is full of sober Vietnamese, Jack hightails it to Liz's reunion--the only place with a bar.

Liz waltzes into her reunion feelin' pretty darn good. As Jack put it, she's found a hairstyle that works for her as long as it's not too humid and has a high-profile job and friends in NYC. All in all, she's gone from ugly duckling to a "semi-ethnic swan." However, she quickly learns that her memory hasn't served her well. All her biting comments didn't go unnoticed by her classmates--they were actually afraid of her.

As Liz sets out (very unsuccessfully) to make amends, Jack pines to be living a simple life of the 3 B's--beer, boats and buds. He continues to drown his sorrows at the bar until he's mistaken as the coolest guy in school. Not missing a beat, Jack runs with it, much to Liz's horror and anger. Soon Larry Braverman has drawn a crowd of fans, including his former flame, Jessica.

Apparently, things ended on a sour note for Larry and Jessica in HS, but soon their back on track, reminiscing with the gang about Camaros and organizing an impromptu game 7 Minutes in Heaven. Jack/Larry spins the bottle, and Liz hops in the circle to try and be friendly. As she and Jack stand in the janitor's closet, Lemon lets the insults fly about her Haven peers and Jack tells her maybe she hasn't changed since HS.

Liz still avoids any true personal engagement by hiding behind her acidic comments and 'jokes.' Liz lashes out at Jack next, saying at least she didn't have business cards made for a job she'll never get. Jack busts into tears, asking his new friends as he leaves the closet, "Why is she so mean?!"

Back at 30 Rock, Tracy and Jenna decide to teach Kenneth a lesson. Dressed as pages, they deliver Kenneth his lunch and lead a group studio tour. Kenneth wants to know why they're doing his job, and Jenna tells him to cry long and hard about this--she wants him to remember the pain he's feeling. Kenneth promises no more jokes on the elevator.

Meanwhile, at the reunion, Liz's classmates were also planning on teaching her a lesson. They let Larry/Jack in on their plan to "Carrie" Liz by calling her up on stage with a phony "Best School Spirit" award. Liz refuses until she sees there's a $50 Outback Steakhouse gift certificate with the award. As she stands before her entire HS, poised to get doused with a bucket of red goo, Jack steps in. He tells the crowd she's not really a bad person and that he's proud to call her his friend.

All seems to have ended well until Jessica produces a son in the audience, telling Larry that it's his. Jack quickly fesses up that's he actually just Liz's "platonic friend" and the two scurry off the stage to a resounding boo. Liz can't help herself though, and reaches for the microphone one last time, telling her classmates they're a bunch of IHOP monkeys and she's off to New York City in her jet. Suck it.