Survivor: The Good Guys Should Win In The End (Episode 1713)

Aww! This episode left me with a happy rosy holiday glow. Yes, Matty there is a Sugar Claus.

Things aren't quite as rosy as the episode begins on Night 33, just after the Tribal Council where Corinne got bounced but the real news was those three votes Matty got. As Ken says, "Matty's super-mad at me." Crystal says she regrets not writing Matty's name down. Um, Crystal, you could try thinking for yourself -- if you'd voted for Matty, he'd be out.

Ken confronts Bob in night-vision, calling him on the fake idol bullshit, and Bob feels so badly about that he says, "If I win the next Immunity, I'll give it to you." *boggles* WTF, Bob? Outwit! Outlast! Outplay! Any of that ring a bell? Jesus. It's a million bucks, and the whole point is to outfox people. You outfoxed Ken, and the only person Ken outfoxed is himself, so the only person Ken really has to blame is…Ken. Afterward, Ken interviews that he totally made Bob feel sorry for him, so now he's got this promise he can use and abuse, or something like that. Most of the time, I think Kenny should stick with an original plan, instead of getting all Keyser Soze about it.

The Reward Challenge takes us back to that nasty-ass swamp for another round of "Dodge The Parasites." This week, the tribe members run across a series of obstacles to collect a ball, bring it back, and throw it into a net like a basketball. They'll make three trips, collect three balls, and shoot three baskets. The first person to finish wins reward. What do they get? They'll be flown by helicopter to a gorilla sanctuary, where they'll also receive a nice meal, a shower, and a good night's sleep…"in a bed!" Jeff says. The winner will also choose someone to go to Exile Island.

The women embarrass themselves utterly. Come on, women, I can make ten free-throws in a row -- you can't make one measly stinkin' shot? Jiminy Christmas! The challenge falls to the three men, who stay neck and neck through all three rounds. Matty has a big time advantage going into the third round of hoop-shooting, but Bob, bless his bony little heart, pulls it out in the end, winning his third straight challenge. Crystal tries to dunk her ball straight into the net, but still misses. *facepalm* No Dream Team for you, C.C.!

Bob gets to choose someone to go with him on the reward, and after a minute, picks Crystal. At Tribal Council later, he says it's because he wanted her to have a cultural experience in Africa; she thinks it's because she hadn't had a reward yet. Both could be true -- Bob's a pretty nice guy. When offered the chance to take someone else, he immediately picks Ken. Dang, Bob, you probably didn't have to offer your yet-to-be-won Immunity; nothing says, "I'm sorry" like food, a shower, a decent night's sleep and a bunch of gorillas. Bob chooses Susie to go to Exile Island, a move that probably seals Crystal's fate and marks the beginning of a beautiful new friendship between the only tribe members returning to camp: Matty and Sugar.

The reward is very cool -- first they get some food and talk a little strategy. Ken tells Bob that he'll let him know if he feels like he needs the Immunity, if Bob wins it. Afterward, they get showers and traditional dashikis to wear while they visit the gorilla sanctuary, which protects baby gorillas orphaned by the illegal meat trade. Poor babies!! Bob, in particular, feels a connection to the big beasts, saying, "It rocked my soul." I like Bob. I like his competence and his even temper, but I especially like how he's appreciating the experience, and taking time to enjoy it. Oftentimes, it feels like players get plonked down in these exotic locations but don't make any effort beyond the game -- Bob's squeezing every moment out of this experience, and still managing to play a good game at the same time. Kudos to you, Bob.

Over at Exile, Susie renames the hut "The Susie Shack" and chows down on some fruit, having chosen Comfort over Clue.

Meanwhile, back at camp, Matty's planting little seeds that will eventually grow into a beautiful flower. He says he'd love to see Crystal and Ken leave the game. He knows he's got a target on his back, and even suggests to Sugar that she give him her hidden immunity idol. Sugar seems to brush off what he's saying. She interviews that Matty is still the strongest physical threat, and tells Matty he'd better win Immunity.

When the reward winners return to camp, Sugar cutely grabs Kenny's clean shirt. Wow, that might be the best part of that particular reward, though it showcases just how dirty everyone else's clothes are. Gross! Maybe if they stopped dragging them through swamps, they wouldn't get so nasty! Crystal gets all up in Matty's face about voting for her, which…huh? She cops a pretty ugly attitude with him, and even Ken gets a few licks in -- he's the passive to Crystal's aggressive. Watching them gang up on Matty, Sugar gets upset, saying that Matty doesn't deserve to get yelled at. "Kenny spins all these lies," she says, "and Crystal's a big bully." Well, she's certainly got their number.

Sugar takes Matty off for a chat. What I'm really coming to love about Sugar is that she's emotional, but she doesn't let that make her stupid. If anything, it seems to give her clarity. She's nowhere near as flighty as she seems, and she notices everything. She gets all teary as she says to Matty, "I believe you now." Then she says firmly, "You're not gonna go." She says she wants to talk to Bob and see if they can't vote out Crystal. Matty's not keen on going to the end with Bob, but it's got to be better than not going to the end, you know? He says, "At least good will prevail." Whee! Okay, I love this attitude. I know, it's not very sophisticated of me --  I'm supposed to cheer for blindsides and double-crosses and snaky bits of secretive business, but I'm a sucker for a good guy like Matty, and Sugar has grown on me liek woah.

The Immunity Challenge is an intriguing combination of physical and mental prowess, with a little strategy on the side. The tribe members will study the features of a Gabonese mask. Then they'll pick up a bag of mask pieces, take it with them through an obstacle course and recreate the mask at the end of the course. They'll make three trips to pick up three bags, and the first person to successfully recreate the mask wins Immunity and a one-in-five chance at a million dollars. Oh, and they'll be blindfolded. Well! This should be interesting!

Matty gets off to a great start -- he makes the tactical decision to go get all three bags, then do all the recreating at once. The others choose to get one bag at a time and see what they can get to fit on the mask from each bag, except for Crystal, who wanders off the course, into different lanes, and basically meanders her way out of the challenge. Several players bonk their heads into poles and things while they're shuttling back and forth along the obstacle course, making me wonder whether they're rehired the sadistic fucktards who planned all those sharp and pointy stick challenges last season. What's more fun than seeing people give themselves concussions? Watching people impale themselves! Despite Matty's alternate approach, he, Ken, and Bob end up working on their masks all at the same time, so who do you think wins? Let me give you a hint: It starts with a "B" and ends with a "B." That's right, Bob wins, for the fourth straight challenge. I'm seeing a real pattern here with Matty -- he starts off great, but loses steam along the way and kind of peters out at the end. Do you think we should tell his girlfriend? Because that might be a good thing to know before you marry a guy.

Day 36 finds the passive-aggressive combo of Ken and Crystal hatching yet another overly complicated plan. Well, Ken's hatching, and Crystal's going along, since she doesn't seem to do much strategizing beyond looming over people and telling them what they can't tell her. Ken tells her the plan is to get Bob to give Ken his Immunity, and then they'll vote out Bob. *sigh* Kenny, Kenny, Kenny. You're a likeable enough guy; you're not evil or an asshole, but that's a shitty plan. My Ever-Patient Mister weighs in on the sitch, saying, "Ken's a snake. There's clever and then there's a snake, and people know the difference. He's not doing himself any favors." No, he's really not. Ken calls it a lose-lose situation for Bob, and heads off to tell Sugar the plan. Sugar's not at all down with that, saying, "I want to be aligned with the good guys." Go, Sugar!

So Sugar heads off and tells Bob the whole blindside plan, adding that it's time to take out Ken and Crystal, starting with Crystal. "I have a big place in my heart for you," she says, tearing up again. "I won't vote for you." Bob wants to believe her, of course. Sugar heads back to camp and plays it, lying straight out to Ken and Crystal when they ask if she told Bob she was voting for Kenny. Matty starts to fret, but Sugar cuts him off with the wave of her finger, murmuring, "Let me do the thinking." AHHHH! That's awesome! My E-P Mister says, "That's the clip of the season right there." She tells Matty to just vote for Crystal, and leave the rest to her.

As they head to Tribal Council, Sugar lets the tribe know that she'll be playing the Immunity Idol she found, since it's her last chance to do so. In other words, don't waste a vote on Sugar, because she ain't going nowhere.

At Tribal, while the jury -- including a newly mohawked Randy -- looks on, Jeff pulls out the whole bit about Bob promising Ken his Immunity. Ken says he's nervous because he flopped at the last Tribal Council, but Bob says they renegotiated the deal so that if Bob felt like Ken was in trouble, he'd give him Immunity. There's a moment when it looks like Bob might actually hand the necklace over, but he didn't get to be 57, happily married, good at puzzles and a "legitimate threat" by being D.U.M., so in the end he hangs onto it. HA! They go cast their votes, and when they come back, Jeff says that now's the time for the hidden immunity idol to be played. Sugar nonchalantly tugs the necklace off…and hands it to Matty. EEEEEEEE! Yet another awesome, awesome move! I don't know whether Ken and Crystal had enough oomph to get Susie to make it a three-three tie, but as a statement, Sugar's actions speak loud and clear. She thinks the good guys should win in the end, and she had a tool at her disposal to help insure that Matty got into the final five. Good for her.

So Ken and Crystal's votes for Matty don't count, and three votes is enough to get Crystal out. Bye, Crystal! I hope you watch this back and realize that Sugar made a good point when she said as she wrote your name down that you don't know how to talk to people. I don't think any of Crystal's training or history benefited her in the game -- she needed wholly different skills sets.

To recap the recap, Sugar got Bob to keep his Immunity for himself, earned herself Matty's undying gratitude and trust, and set herself up as one of the final five without having to worry about being voted out. That play was both generous and strategic -- the very best kind! Matty deserves some Ranlove, too. He motivated Sugar, planting that seed way back when it seemed like she wasn't paying attention. And then he didn't lose his cool, didn't devolve in a snappy snitfit down at Ken and Crystal's level. Excellent game play from both Sugar and Matty. Woo hoo!

I'll be back Monday with the results of the big two-hour season finale, and then the snoozefest reunion show! See you then!