The Office - "Moroccan Christmas" (Episode 510)

Her horn can pierce the sky! (NBC.com)

In a wonderful, holiday-themed prank, Jim wrapped everything on Dwight's desk in Christmas wrapping paper (he said he did it in mere minutes, because he's got "a black belt in gift wrapping." Dwight said that was nonsense, because they didn't give out black belt for things that are "stupid." Dwight said he would dismantle all of Jim's efforts in about five minutes and Jim said it wouldn't be that easy. Dwight countered that "if I could skin a muledeer in less than ten minutes..." and, as he went to sit down, crashed to the floor because either Jim rigged his chair to break or replaced Dwight's office furniture with cardboard replicas (I can't figure out exactly what he did, but it was damn funny. I've missed Jim's elaborate punks on Dwight!

Phyllis asked Stanley to wear a fez. Stanley said he had no intention of being "the big guy in the tiny hat." (Kevin, on the other hand, was more than happy to wear one.) The reason for the interesting choice of headgear was because Phyllis chose "Nights in Morocco" as the theme of this year's office Christmas party. She confidently declared that "this isn't your grandma's Christmas party...unless she's from Morocco, in which case it's very accurate." Michael tells Phyllis that he thinks this is going to be the best party ever, which obviously pisses Angela off a bit. Phyllis insisted that Angela take the nativity set off her desk because it didn't go with her theme. She's taken great delight in harassing Angela since she became head of the party planning committee. Angela didn't want to give up her decorations, so Phyllis made a compromise that she could keep the camel, the sheep, an elephant and "the north African king" on her desk  - and the rest of the pieces were relegated to a desk drawer. Angela said she wasn't going to judge Phyllis for "desecrating Christmas." She added, "there is one person who will though, and Phyllis just stuffed him into a drawer." Phyllis also demanded that Angela take down the Christmas tree she had set up. She said that holding the fact that she knew that Angela and Dwight were hooking up behind Andy's back wasn't not blackmail, because that involved a "formal letter." Dwight came into the office with two armloads full of Barbie-ish dolls. He said that each year, he researched the most popular toy for Christmas and bought them up from all of the local stores. This year's must-have toy is a doll called Princess Unicorn, "half girl, half unicorn. Catch phrase: 'My horn can pierce the sky.'" Dwight says that as lazy parents become more desperate, he will be able to sell them the dolls at a greatly inflated price (even for such a "genetically improbable" doll.)

The Moroccan Christmas party got underway. Michael played bartender and mixed a drink for Meredith made up of "equal parts scotch, absenthe, rum, gin, vermouth, triple sec and two packs of Splenda." (I got a headache just thinking about that. Meredith, of course, loved the concoction, which prompted Michael to give her the old Issac from "Love Boat" double finger guns. Jim rubbed a genie lamp and told Pam he was going to give her one wish. Pam wished that he wouldn't keep rubbing the lamp "in that creepy way." The party was rapidly going into full swing, Meredith was gulping down the hooch and Andy played the sitar, singing the song with the lyric "There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance." Angela was less-than-impressed with the little ditty, reprimanding him by saying "It's Christmas and you're singing about nudity and France." Bartender Michael mixed up a vodka and orange juice for Jim, calling it a "orange vod-juice-ka". Jim sarcastically told him that he couldn't believe that no one had come up with that drink before. Creed smoked from a hookah, while Meredith started belly dancing. Dwight was selling his dolls - for $200 each ("fa-la-la-la-la...kaching"). Meredith's wild gyrations got a little too close to some candles and she set her hair on fire. Dwight put her head out with the fire extinguisher - she's "alright", but Michael looks distressed.
 
Obviously, Meredith's little accident put a bit of a damper on the festivities. Michael decides toi stage an impromptu intervention for Meredith. Michael says an intervention is somewhat hard to describe, but tries anyway, saying it's like "a surprise party for people who are...who have addictions. And you get in their face and you scream at them and you make them feel really badly about themselves. And then they stop." Phyllis asks Angela to make a plate of hummus for everyone, seeing that they're going to be there for a while. Meredith's feeling a little better, as she threw up (Michael says "T.M.I" to this revelation.) Michael gets everyone together for a quick intervention intervention before they got back to the party. Toby told him that he could only talk about her work performance, he couldn't tell her to stop drinking. Michael said he wasn't going to tell her that, he was just going to implore her to "quit being an alcoholic." Meredith insists she's not an alcoholic. He asked everyone who thought Meredith was an alcoholic to raise their hands, and most hands in the room went up. Andy recalled that he used to get "wicked hammered" in college. He claims his nickname was "Puke." His ritual involved swigging SoCo, sneaking into frat parties and drinking the remains of half-empty cups, as well as some brewskis and jell-o shots. He also did body shots - off himself. He'd pass out, boot and rally with more SoCo and head to class. He said his partying ways didn't affect his school work. "I aced all of my courses, they called me "Ace"...I got straight Bs, they called me "Buzz."  Michael took a piece of paper out of his pocket and began to quiz Meredith on her drinking habits. Through his interrogation, Meredith admitted she drank to alter her mood and she sometimes had a drink to celebrate a special occasion. Michael then asked "Have you ever, under the influence of alcohol, questioned the teachings of the Mormon church?" Oscar asked where Michael found this questionaire and he told him he found it on the Internet, but that's not important. Toby told Michael he should consult experts instead of trying to help Meredith on his own and Michael says "I'm doing your job, man." Michael suggests they go around the room and tell Meredith how her alcoholism has affected them. Michael starts and says she interrupted what could be the best Christmas party ever. Kevin recalls a time she bought some movie tickets but was too drunk to go and gave them to him, and "that was really cool." Not helping.  Dwight had nothing to contribute, telling Michael he liked Meredith. Not really - he later said he didn't care for Meredith but didn't believe in this kind of thing. He said that in the Schrute family, they believed in a "five finger intervention - awareness, education, control, acceptance and punching." Phyllis was glad she waited to distribute the gifts from corporate - shot glasses - because they weren't appropriate anymore. She went into the breakroom and continued her "reign of terror" against Angela, making her wear a hairnet to prepare the food for her co-workers. Meredith finally admitted that she had an addiction...to porn. Michael asked what was going to happen if she came into work dead. Dwight volunteered that he would "stab her in the brain with a wooden stick." (Dwight says it's the most "satisfying" way to dispatch a zombie.) Micheal tells Meredith that the next time she sets herself on fire that no one was going to put her out. Well, Dwight would have to, as he was the office fire marshall - unless it was a "controlled burn in a well-ventilated area." Toby says the intervention was over and evertyone filed out of the room. Michael called them all "enablers." Michael said his only wish for Christmas was for Meredith to be better. However, he said his wishes never came true so he's not going to wish that for her, but added that "a watch would be nice."

Andy was still jamming on the sitar. Jim asked him "Do you take requests? Please stop." Michael put on his coat and walked out with Meredith, asking Toby for the number of the rehabilitation center on his way out. Michael was able to get Meredith in the car with a promise to stop off at a local bar, but he drove right past Poor Richards. Meredith didn't realize what exactly was going on - yet. Toby called his little girl and asked her if she knew about Princess Unicorn. Her excited squeals indicated that she knew exactly what that was. Toby was excited that his ex wife was going to be so pissed once he brought his daughter a Princess Unicorn doll (since he had access to the only dolls in town, courtesy of Dwight) and said "for once Daddy's going to be a hero." Toby goes to Dwight only to find out that Darryl bought the last doll. Toby begged Darryl to sell him the doll, which he eventually did - $400. Toby only had $200 on him, but Darryl said he could owe him the balance. What a guy. Toby was ecstatic to have the doll, but less so when he discovered that this Unicorn Prioncess was an African American version. Michael drives up to the rehab center and Meredith was pissed. She refused to get out of the car and, when Michael finally got her out, attempted to run away, screaming "there is no way!" Michael finally dragged her in by her feet and told the staff on duty, "I have a deposit...an alcoholic." Phyllis told Angela to put her tree back up and Angela finally told her to shut up. She knows Phyllis won't expose her little secret because then she couldn't throw any more of her "tacky parties." Phyllis surprised her by blurting out to everyone that Angela had been cheating on Andy for some time now. Pam said she knew it. Michael and Meredith walked out of the rehab facility. Michael learned that he can't check someone into rehab against their will. They have to hit rock bottom. Michael made it his mission to "push Meredith to the bottom. I think I can do it...I did it with Jan."

Andy missed Phyllis' big announcement and came into the room to serenade his bride with a sitar version of "Deck the Halls." Everyone else stood by in awkward silence. Angela icily said that she wanted to go home. Andy has no clue - as he left he said "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night." Sadly, I don't think it will be a good night for him.