Is anyone, besides me, still watching this show? Well, for any...at all...fans left, just like NCAA basketball, we're down to determining the final four. But hey, we have a 2-hour episode – so whatever are we going to do for 115 minutes? NBC has decided to do a little "nipping in the bud" and take their message of health and fitness to the kids (because, as we all know, this Biggest Loser thing isn't going to last much longer!) Bob, Kim and former Biggest Loser Matt (who still looks good) head out to talk to high school kids, test them and help them move towards a healthier life. We get some fun facts along the way: there are currently 12 million obese kids, spending 30 hours a week on their tushes. One school serves 4,000 pounds of fries and 250 pizzas in one year. To quote statesman Flavor Flav, “Woooowwww...."

All of the Biggest Loser crew members are celebrated at their respective high schools – but, really, it's been a looooong time since I've been in high school, but who wouldn't relish a chance to get out of class? Kim and Bob assemble new teams – the Biggest Loser high school edition teams of their own. Scary – they have the same issues as the adults on the show.

After a gratuitous plug for The Biggest Loser Club (hey, but kudos to you Cindy for dropping 82 pounds) the high school “Losers" get their first workouts with the coaches. Guess what? Way less tears than their adult counterparts – you go, kids! The coaches leave them with reasonable goals. But first, Bob and Kim go after the lunch ladies. (But first, online loser Rommy lost 68 pounds – cool!) Bob confronts the lunch ladies (Everybody..."Sloppy joe....slop, sloppy joe...") and is shocked to find pizza on the a la carte menu and tater tots as the vegetable selection of the day for the kids (umm, I love tater tots and find nothing wrong with this...but, yeah, I'm a marathoner...never mind...) The lunch ladies admit that they "have to make money" (and they don't wear hairnets either...ewww!) Bob was encouraged by the slight percentage of whole wheat flour in the pizza crust, so at least they got that right.

Tonight it's every man and woman for himself, as the teams and duos are dissolved. By the way, has anyone noticed that Caroline is gaining weight, or is it just me? Bob noticed that Bobby was gone and pulled "his guys" (the former blue team) aside to decompress and commiserate abut their loss. Bob wants his guys to be "laser beams". Oh-kaaayy....He achieves this by sitting on Marty while he does push-ups. Kim is still having problems with the newbies. Adrian is having emotional issues (well someone needs to be crying here!) She is now the ranch's resident basket case (Jaron certainly thinks so.)

The morning after eliminations, Amy O'Connor from Prevention Magazine (plug ahoy!) arrives and tells the gang they are heading out for a makeover and photo shoot. Everyone is really excited to see their new physiques in fancy (and smaller sized) duds. PS – don't like what they did with Marty's hair. AT ALL. Challenge time. The torture mongers at NBC have decided to have the competitors work out on stationary bikes on big platforms suspended 30 feet in the air – the prize is immunity. Every time they get to 2 miles they get to lower teammate by a third of the distance to the ground - the last player suspended is the winner. Adrian says the whole thing isn't fair (as she feels the 5 original ranchers are gunning for her and Jaron to go home) and she doesn't want to play. Spoil sport. Whiner. Oh my God, shut up woman!

Tonight's episode opens with House enjoying a meal with "vegetative state guy" (as opposed to "coma guy", who regualr viewers know as his usual dining partner.) Wilson confronts him about the forged scripts – and he admits he lied to Officer Mike about the whole thing. Veggie state guy's kid comes in to visit his pop and seems to be having hallucinations - House has somehow figured out that he has some sort of condition where he can't see things when they move. House then tries to instigate a seizure, which he manages to do. So, the Vegetative guy's kid is our POTW.

Cameron brings the kid to and finds out he has no history of seizures. We also discover his dad's been in a coma for 10 years. He has no family to trace his medical history except for veggie dad. The son is quite the li'l drinker though, as he has a bottle of wine in his backpack. Sonny suffers from the same cortical seizures as his dad – who we now know fell into his coma after trying to rescue his family from a fire. The mandatory residence check shows no evidence of molds or any iffy environmental factors. All of the checking into the kid's family history proves no new leads. Add to that the fact that he works from home and has had no visitors except for the pizza guy. He then suddenly feels nauseous - his liver may be failing (indicated by an obvious sore and the fact that he's violently coughing up blood.) Now he's heading toward coma-ville, maybe the anti-seizure drugs and alcohol weren't such a great mix. House decides the best way to get to the bottom of the son's problems is to temporarily wake up dad, so he concocts a l-dopa and amphetamine cocktail to try and wake him. Cuddy is against waking him for such a brief amount of time. House manages to inject his magical potion into him and he wakes up - craving a steak and hey, it's John Larroquette! (Need I remind you, it's still November sweeps.)

In the pre-credit sequence, Karen discovers Jim sending a fax - to Dwight...from himself...from the future. Jan comes into Michael's office with some big news – the Scranton branch is closing. A few Scrantoners will be heading to Stanford and the rest will receive severance – and Michael is one of them. Michael is outraged and feels the company is making a huge mistake. He doesn't think Josh will be able to replace a Stanley or Phyllis.

Earl made up for one of his former misdeeds (ripping the wigs off old ladies and was rewarded with a (albeit ill-fitting) suit which made Catalina slightly resentful – that Earl always felt better after his good deeds and she got no recognition or warm and fuzzy feeling after doing anything. Earl said that she could assist him with crossing something off the list. They are taking on #75 - used the mailbox as a trash can. A lot. Catalina cleaned out the mailbox and found some old letters that weren't delivered because of the sticky residue the trash left behind. Earl and Randy each take a letter back to its sender.

Tonight promises a 2-hour (geez!) extravaganza (courtesy of the early cancellation of a few of NBC's week sitcoms – thanks, NBC...it's not like I have a life or anything!) as the 6 returning losers compete against the ranchers. The episode opens with a recap of the introduction of "the 6". The ranchers now have a chance to get to know them before, according to Bobby, they're all sent away. The girls piled on the fake compliments, pretending to befriend the competition. The boys were more standoff-ish to the new guests. The battle lines have been drawn. Kai and Heather went so far as to move a bed into Pam's old room so they wouldn't have to share with the newbies. I don't like those 2, they need to go.

The newbies are nervous about the weigh-in, but still manage to have positive attitudes. The 6 are going to become 2 real quick, as the weigh-in begins. Poppi is up first. She started at 232 and is now 189 – she lost 43. Pretty impressive. Virginia is next 277 she lost 47 pounds Adrian has to lose 42 pounds to stay at the ranch she went from 227 to 174 (53 pounds, so you don't have to do the math.) I figured she'd be the one, because she was catty in the interviews (she said Kai had a "big caboose." Meowrrr!)

The guys are next. Matthew lost 81 pounds (he started at 366) he credits playing with his kids instead of sitting on the bench for his loss. Jaron goes from 323 to 248. Erik was amazed these guys lost so much at home. Tim needs to lose more than 59 pounds to stay. He loses 52 (from his start weight of 268). So Jaron and Adrian join the ranchers. Adrian and Jaron have actually lost the greatest percentage of weight out of the 8, which pisses Kai off to no end (good...)

Michael decides to inject a little international culture into Dunder Muiflin, so he takes it upon himself to teach the staff about the Indian celebration of Diwali, which Kelly celebrates. She has invited everyone to a Diwali celebration...wait, we interrupt this recap for a...

FUN CULTURAL FACT: According to Wikipedia (is there really another source?), Diwali is is a major Hindu festival that is very significant in Hinduism, Sikhism and Jainism. Known as the "Festival of Lights," it symbolizes the victory of good over evil, and lamps are lit as a sign of celebration and hope for mankind. Celebrations focus on lights and lamps, particularly traditional diyas (a contracted form of deep or light given by small earthen pots - also known as Pradeep), with wick made of cotton and dipped in ghee. Fireworks are associated with the festival in many regions of India. Class dismissed.

Sorry...blah, blah, blah...Mexico...parasites...now on to it. Joy's attorney has advised her that it would behoove her to make as many amends as she can before her court date in order to reduce her punishment. Among these is a restraining order that was placed on her by her former trailer park manager, Millie Banks (played in perfect white-trash style by Roseanne. If there was ever a show for this gal to be on, this is it.) Miss Millie was really unpleasant and ruled the trailer park with an iron fist (La-Z-Boys on the lawn had to match the color of the trailer – evil!) With talk of Millie, Earl remembered another event that needed crossing off his list – made a lady think he was God. Apparently Millie's hearing aid could pick up Earl's walkie-talkie, so he took full advantage of this – starting with making her do the Hokey Pokey and moving on to getting her to disregard citations and even bring gifts to Earl and Joy. All of this chatter with the Almighty sent Millie to the convent. Earl goes to find her and 'fess up to his wrongdoing and finds a totally changed woman – even some of the other nuns are jealous of her relationship with the Lord. Of course, being the pious woman she now was, she had a hard time believing Earl's story, but once he demonstrated how he played God, she was furious, left the convent and returned to her wicked ways at the trailer park (making Darnell give up his pet turtle - who ends up in foster care with Randy - and more importantly refusing to drop the restraining order against Joy.)

Again, I sincerely apologize for the tardiness of this update. I was off in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico with a bunch of guys at a fishing tournament (a blog entry in itself) and got some god-awful Mexican parasite that kept me down until yesterday. So now I have to talk about food...

Well, tonight things get all shaken up. The red and blues are no more. Tonight, new duos are formed – one from each of the 2 teams. And, since we're in sweeps – the duo who ends up with the lowest percentage of weight loss will be leaving the ranch. Wylie won the honors to pick the pairs (Yay, Florida! Wylie finally gets the upper hand on his fellow red wenches! Oh, and the Dolphins beat the Bears too – what a week!)