Handler and Handled Christmas at Buy More, because nothing says happy hoidays like retail and desperation. Big Mike and Emmmet agree--Christmas Eve is not a day for fellowship so much as it is for jacking prices 15%. Sarah's less bitten by the merry-merry bug, since Christmas for her means memories of the annual Salvation Army con job. Chuck invites her to the annual Bartowski heart-warming holiday hootenanny, which involves: eggnog; pajamas; fake gas fireplace; and marathoning the Twilight Zone.

Handler and Handled So, we already know that when Sarah was a kid, her dad was not exactly a model citizen. And now, thanks to yet another (this time sepia-toned!) flashback, we know that Sarah was not only aware of Daddy's unusual money-making methods, but an active participant. I'm not sure how the duo managed to snag a few bags of cash from a bank delivery truck, but Sarah throwing herself in front of the van and faking an accident was the diversion to make it happen.

Handler and Handled This show has fallen in love with starting episodes in the past even more than Pushing Daisies. When Casey was cutting his teeth as a hostile young man, he had a sensei, as many hostile young men do, who beat him into submission and taught him to find his calm center. This is presumably how he avoids beating lackeys to a pulp at the Buy More on a daily basis.

Handler and Handled Sarah and Casey are going nuts over Chuck's absence, not helped along by General Beckman, who can't believe how dumb they were to let Chuck get away with a Fulcrum agent, who could be doing hell knows what to him who knows where. Except, really, we all know what Chuck and Jill are doing, and we only have to see the post-coital, hotel room snuggling to get the point. While Jill's in the shower washing the sex off, Chuck gets a glimpse of her phone, on which there's a coded text message that sends his brain a-flashing. Babbling 90 words a second, he takes off for coffee and regrouping only to get snatched by Casey and Sarah, lying in wait at the hotel. They confirm Jill's evil affiliation, getting Chuck to flash on her codename, Sandstorm. They tell him to act normal and not freak out, because they need Jill not to know he knows. Sarah assures him that even if she knows he's a spy, Jill doesn't know Chuck is the Intersect. He leaves, presumably to change his soiled pants.

Handler and Handled So Guy LeFleur had in his possession, before he died, a list of CIA code names for the agents he wanted his bioweapon for nefarious reasons. The lady General B tells Casey and Sarah that it is a potential list of CIA agents working for fulcrum. They are to take Chuck to Guy's hotel room and see if he flashes on anything that could be that list of names. It has to be done off the books, since the FBI's guarding the room. Casey thinks this will be cake, since the FBI ranks slightly lower than SpongeBob in his estimation. Chuck tells Jill that he's headed to the hotel with Sarah, but not in a sexy way. Jill pumps him for information about Sarah, but all Chuck will admit is that she's objectively maybe not hideous. He assures her that nothing about their job is sexy or glamorous, which is of course cue to Sarah, dressed in fishnets and red lipstick, posing as an escort, since that's how most businessmen use the hotel.

Handler and Handled So remember how Chuck had a girlfriend named Jill? And how she slept with Bryce, who was Chuck’s roommate in college? And how he was kicked out of Stanford? Now you do.

In 2005, Chuck was on the green-shirt-wearing step of the Buy More ladder, and bitter about being kicked out for supposedly cheating. He braved Greek Row and interrupted a game of beer pong to hit ping pong balls at Jill’s window, hoping to explain his side to her, not having had one of his 28 calls returned. He drove 346 miles to tell her he loved her, but all she could do was stick her head out the window and tell him it was over, right there in front of all the frat asshats who thought it all very amusing and pathetic. (As did Jill’s roommate, Sherry, who simply delighted in telling Chuck about Jill’s new relationship with Bryce.) And while Jill and her glasses seemed nice, and felt bad about dumping Chuck, she still did it with her head out the window in front of too many people, and that is just not awesome.

Handler and Handled

So in 1983, Jeff of the Buy More is the Ricky Bobby of Missile Command videogaming, with a dead-thing looking mullet. He had women, glory, and so many tasty options. Like he does now, facing off with the vending machine, paralyzed with indecision, to Morgan’s annoyance. Morgan’s just dropped some Cheetos for him when Big Mike pops in to tell them to wrangle Chuck to work. The Head Nerd Herder is still dozing in his suit and faux Kermit-takes-Manhattan mustache, having apparently spent the evening as “Francois.” He stows the identity, loses the dinner jacket, and makes to leave. Ellie and Awesome flag him down, reminding him that he forgot something. He pauses, peels off the fake mustache, and nearly pees in relief when Awesome hands him a ginseng protein breakfast shake. It is good for yang energy, Awesome tells us, as well as wang energy, should you have one in need of tending. Ellie asks where Chuck was until 4AM, and he lies handily about playing video games with Morgan. Ellie: Neato, now please stop wasting your life (see Ellie lecture #42A).

Handler and Handled San Diego CA, 1998. Sarah is going through her homely phase: braces, blunt haircut, drab clothes, listening to Chumbawumba. She arrives home to find her home surrounded by cops and strategically placed trees that don’t allow us to see her family. She immediately cuts and runs for the woods, where, with a tree marker, she finds a buried box of money, accompanied by a note: “In case of emergency, Love You, Daddy.”

Handler and Handled Sarah and Bryce make out against a wall, but with one eye open. Literally, because they’re on an op. In the PAST. It’s 2005 in Bogota, and they’re running through the streets with a briefcase and some sassy Indiana-style music. Bryce gets himself in a headlock, and he and Sarah exchange the code for “shoot the bad guy, not the hostage.” They celebrate with the exchange of a red rose. And wouldn’t you know who’s shown up on Sarah’s doorstep with that very thing, only to find Bryce in Sarah’s hotel room? Could it be our eponymous hero? Yes, it could. Oh, Chuck.

And basically so says Ellie back home, all, why back so soon, brother? Chuck, without giving particulars, tells his sister and Awesome how Sarah’s ex is always coming back at the most inconvenient times. “Stalker ex,” Awesome says. “Not awesome.” Awesome tells him that this guy is no Chuck. Chuck’s like, yes except for how he’s so much better looking and sophisticated and good-career-having and mythic in Sarah’s past. Ellie’s sure he’ll be gone in no time, but Chuck is not optimistic. Ellie invites him to sit and talk, but he says he’s just going to hang with them and not talk. He watches them cuddle and gets that sad Chuck puppy face.

Handler and Handled Outside the Buy More, Casey tells Chuck that with Director Graham having been blown into a million little pieces, he should get used to the idea of dragging his ass into the store every day, where he will more than likely have to put up with bad staff meetings lead by Lester and his mullet, neither of which are as adept as Chuck at managerial details. As they leave the meeting together, Chuck asks Morgan if he remembers when Chuck had potential. Morgan reassures him that they all know he’s destined for great things, but until that day, at least he gets to go home to “that.” That being Sarah in her Orange Orange outfit and two-toned Chucks (Converse, not the nerd), entering to the smooth sounds of Huey Lewis and the News. Chuck, hypnotized by his imagined vision of Sarah crawling toward him all 80’s video style, complete with manufactured wind in her hair, leans in with puckered lips. Sarah receives him with a more-friendly-than-just-polite-kiss. Chuck asks the nature of said liplock, and Sarah hisses that it’s a “we have a national security emergency and I need to speak to you privately” kiss. Romantic.