Previously - The drama intensified in ProjRun's sleepiest season, yet.  Kenley is the worst. If this was the Legion of Doom, she'd totally be Lex Luthor. No, I'm giving her too much credit. She'd be Solomon Grundy. Oh, and Suede had to leave. Hopefully Suede will be able to pick Suede up at the airport.

It's down to the knife edge of panic right now! We're down to four.  Two ladies, one gay, and a freckled My Pet Monster. Korto says she's 33, with a baby and a husband and she's the oldest. Christ, I'm older than her and she's acting like she's Georgie O'Keefe.

Previously - I was on vacation, so there was no recap. But I did watch the show and I can honestly say that the next time Kenley laughs at someone else on the runway, I'm heading over to Parsons with a nail gun. I'm not normally a violent person but even I have my limits.

Korto and the girls talk about they're not shocked that Straight Joe was sent back to his extremely masculine home, with the moose head on the wall, and the kegerator and the homerun derby diamond out back. There's a stripper pole, too.

Previously - Designers genuflected and wept before Diane Von Furstenberg. And they took my Stella by Starlight home. Prepare to be bored for the rest of this bullshit.

Lady Day opens her eyes and smiles upon the city. If I see that Elle cover with Mary-Kate Olsen one more time, I'm writing a letter. Terri admits that she won't miss Stella so she's on my shitlist now.

Suede lets Suede tell Blayne that he had a dream about dresses made out of Pop-Tarts. Even his dreams make you want to scald yourself with boiling water. It's weird to see Kenley before she gets her Bettie Page on. She looks like you average chick and it's nice to see her artifice stripped away. But she ruins it by saying she feels like one of the best. Honestly, that dress she made looked like if Mood was going out of business and that was the last bolt of fabric left and even the blind seamstress customer doesn't want it.

Previously - Fashion Bear Chris was sent into hibernation and my heart broke just a little. Now we're down to Christian ("Ferosha Coutura"), Jillian ("Neurotic Culottes"), and Rami ("Noodles"). Brace yourselves!

3 days until the runway show?!? I'm biting my nails! I'm drinking heavily! I'm realizing Carmen ("Kelis") sounds real manly when she bellows "bottom line? I'm the best." in the opening credits. Christian's nervous and scared. He keeps repeating that he wants "friday to come" and practically starts rocking back and forth. The designers are enjoying takeout and you can cut the anticipation with a knife. Jillian strolls out in black culottes pantsuit (Was there a sale? Where WAS this sale? What store would that be? Ocean State Job Lot?) and asks if the hair is ok? Flat, limp, nasty headband. Answer: no. Pressure is killing her hair! She puts a Fargo hat over it anyway.

Previously - Well, there was a reunion. And we found out that Kors finds sexy ladies to be so off-putting that he has to laugh hysterically. And that Carmen (Kelis) is still irritated. And that Victoria is still stank. And that it looks like Rami and Chris and Jack and Kevin have coupled off. But BEFORE that, Sweet P got booted when her peacock didn't pan out. And Chris and Rami (is this how they got together?) found out that they have to have their own mini-fashion show to see who goes on to Bryant with Christian and Jillian.

Previously - We're nearing the final stretch, and the writers were obviously gearing up for the strike because they had the designers make outfits for wrestling divas. Yeah, I know. Tricky Ricky finally packed his Kleenex and his hat that he wore when he used to work the corner outside the bodega and went home.

Gotham City! A city of justice! A city of love! Five left. Sweet P was surprised that Ricky was the one sent home. Well, yeah, you were close, but Ricky was actually worse. Jillian's obviously had enough of Sweet P's passive-agressive hipster mom schtick and is curling her already curly hair in the mirror and imagining herself marrying a doctor who won't mind her Yeah Yeah Yeahs records. How many shots of Rami Noodles drinking coffee in the window did they take? For real, I think he only used that apartment to drink coffee in the window.

Previously - It was denim everywhere. Jillian kept stabbing herself with a needle, prompting us to wonder if her sleeves hide some scarring. VictorYA got sent home so I can stop capitalizing that "y" and that "a". Believe me, it could be annoying and I don't know any keyboard tricks.

Morning. The luxurious Gotham apartments. Jillian says that she doesn't want the final three to be all boys. Neither do I, that could mean Tricky Ricky's hat makes it up there and we can't have that hat at Bryant Park. Anna Wintour might explode. Christian complains to Rami Noodles about Tricky Ricky's win and I have this weird feeling that maybe Christian got drunk on sidecars (he only drinks vintage cocktails) one night and tried to get some Tricky of his own and got shot down. Tricky Ricky only goes for A) very young Latino teenagers who are unsure of their sexuality and B) married guys with money. I just have a feeling. I swear I saw him walking with Anderson Cooper one day. Or was that Christian? Anderson likes them creative. Tricky Ricky notes that he won but it hasn't earned him any respect. Why do you care? Bitch, these aren't your friends!

Previously - It was avant-tard all over the place, as designers had to create an couture type look and it's ready to wear scaled down sibling based on model's hairstyles. Fashion Bear and the newly christened Ferosh (Christian) triumphed. Rami Noodles freaked his shit. Kit Weaponry was sent home.

Good morning, little yellowbirds! It's Gotham! Did every episode of this show always include someone mourning someone's else's ousting? Sweet P misses Kit. Right. VictorYA refers to Sweet P as "Kit". I'm shocked she's not referring to everyone as "Simone" or "hey you" or "you're the cleaning lady, right?". She's such a bitch. She calls her "Kit" again despite Sweet P already having corrected her. Is it the tattoos? Over at the queendom next door, Rami Noodles notes that nothing has changed in their dormroom. He looks a little abashed seeing as we all know he acted like a straight-up nervous lady in the last challenge and got trounced for it.

Previously - It was candy a'flyin' as our brave designers had to make do with materials from the Hershey store in Times Square. Elisa thought "wearable" meant "brown macabre Gretel-looking" so she got bounced despite her tragic past as a human speedbump. Christian took his ego for a walk around the workroom. And Sweet P created a "Maxipad" according to Tim Gunn. Thanks for that one, Tim.

Previously - Steven couldn't hack a wedding dress, so he got booted. Fashion bear Chris was brought back after Jack's face exploded and he had to leave. And we learned that Tim Gunn has made several bad decisions at 3 AM. Get it, Tim!

Oh my sweets, I apologize for my (re)tardniness in recapping this week, as I was in NYC taping that webcast for "The Daily Special" where I looked like an albino bullfrog! It will never happen again! How could I be late on this one, it involved one of my favorite things - CHOCOLATE! Nummers! Let's get to the sweetness and mess!