Five weeks have gone by since Chase started shooting into the Darling-studded crowd at Patrick's inauguration. In that time, Nick and Lisa have officially divorced; Nick and Karen have mostly made up; Andrea seems to have gone into full-on remission; and Simon Elder has become even more over-the-top evil than ever before. If that is at all possible. Everyone is, as usual, dealing with their own individual crises and neuroses in top form. Chase is in a coma, and no one's quite sure when he's going to wake up.

We are amping up the melodrama this week. And if you didn't think that was possible anymore on this show, let me introduce you to the Darlings, again. Let's break it down by sibling, shall we?

Jeremy: continues to obsess about whether or not Nola Lyons is the most into him, especially given how she's treating him as the hired help around Pat's office. Which he is, but that's never stopped Jeremy before. Remember when he used to valet? Yeah, me neither. Karen and Letitia tell him that if Nola's always telling him that she has feelings for him but can't be with him because "it's complicated," it means she's seeing someone else. So Jeremy follows her and sees her getting into Simon Elder's car; she's only been stealing Senate documents about why approval for his biofuel died in committee, not sleeping with him as Jeremy assumes. When Jeremy confronts her, Nola, at the end of her rope, admits that her dad owed Simon something, and he's taking it out on her and her brother, who he is holding hostage somewhere. Jeremy tells Nola he's going to fix it, but she begs him to stay out of it, because of how Simon is totes evil. Jeremy ignores her and goes to Nick, who the Darlings believe can turn lead to gold, telling him Nola is in trouble, but before he can elaborate, Simon shows up. Later, Simon threatens Nola over her lack of self-control.

Oh, man. It hits the fan this week. Where to start? How about with the tired stuff? Nola and Jeremy are still sparring, and to get to her, Jeremy joins Pat's staff as an assistant/butler. He gets slightly back in Nola's good books when he's able to get a reluctant biofuel manufacturer to sign with Pat and build a plant in New York by liasing between the mogul and his son, who haven't spoken in a year. Since Jeremy brought his son back to him, the biofuel man decides the Darlings are all right. Nola's pleased for the political win, but she's wearing thin with the Darlings.

So, in a week when none of the characters is quite getting the thing the want, it makes sense that we'd get the news that the show was cancelled. I'd be more upset if the show was still as cool as it was last year, but as it is, I'm disappointed not to have this cast I have become very fond of for much longer. Darling family, we hardly knew ye!

Let's take it one family member at a time, shall we? We'll start with 1.) Letitia, who, drunk with freedom and her breakfast mimosa, takes the coup out for a cruise and promptly mows down an innocent bicyclist. And rather than raise another dust up for the tabloids, the family brings the girl, Wren, back to the Imperial to get better. She charms 2.) Tripp, by asking him inappropriate questions about his marriage and how Tish cheated on him and how saintly he must be for putting up with all her infidelity and never making her beg for a second chance because he'd never given up her first chance, or something, I don't know. She manages to pump both Tripp and Nick for information in such a way that I'd remain fully convinced she's a reporter digging for stories if Rena Sofer weren't pulling that bell next week. Anyway, Wrenn enchants Tripp but ends up coming onto Nick in Tripp's eyeline, prompting the old dude to wonder to his pseudo-son if he hasn't been wrong these last forty years thinking Letitia is the only one for him. Which Tish of course hears, because what goes around comes around.

It’s a busy morning. Nola’s taking a bath with Jeremy, worried that, now that her jury’s been impaneled for Letitia’s trial, they have to be extra-super-maxi careful. No phone calls, and if Nick finds out anything he can take before a judge, Nola will lose everything. Jeremy promises they will be discrete to the point of not sleeping together at all, except for that part where they wouldn’t have sex.

Nick and Lisa are in couples counseling. It is not going well, since they can’t agree on anything, and Nick’s phone keeps ringing. The therapist is halfway to saying that their disagreements are healthy because they’re honest, but even she’s getting jumpy from the constant ringing. Nick takes the last call, from Brian Junior. Turns out Junior’s got two weeks off from school, and he wants to spend it with both his parents. Andrea doesn’t think Nick can be a fair arbitrator because he’s Brian’s brother; Nick says he’s not partial to Brian, earning him a lovely “back at you, boss” from Brian. Nick’s partial to Junior, because he’s been between parents and their crap and it sucks. Nick leaves, and Andrea and Brian keep shouting at each other over their son’s head. He can’t leave without at least one Darling asking him for something else, since Letitia wants to go to an election party for Patrick and wants Nick to get her excused from house arrest. Nick: basically, no.

Patrick’s on the campaign beat, promising stricter fire codes so that more people don’t die in fake fires like Ellen. After his speech, Nick compliments him, but Patrick’s wearing under the strain of pretending he didn’t accidentally kill his wife in the bathroom. Nick asks what he really needs, and Patrick asks if it’s too late to come clean with the police. Nick thinks he’ll face charges on obstruction of justice and arson. Patrick wants to sit and talk about it, and Nick reminds him about that whole thing where he’s defending Patrick’s mom for maybe killing his own dad, so… probably not. Patrick can’t lie another day, what with a debate coming up, so he wants this to end today. Nick promises to see what he can do. Patrick leaves, and Nick immediately calls Tripp.

We both know who killed our dad.The True Life Story of the Scandalous Darling Family is being broadcast all over syndicated television, even at breakfast. Turns out the Darlings are hunkering down at the Imperial, where Patrick’s kids are cluing him into the fact that other kids gossip, and they all think their dad killed their mom. (Jeremy and Karen respond, respectively, this way: a bug-eyed “Dude!” and “This is why I’m never having kids,” accompanied by a lazy pointed finger.) Patrick tells his spawn that it was an accident, and even the police say so! The TV show transitions us from the Imperial to Brian, who’s waiting for the board as he listens to the news that Darling stock has literally fallen. That and all the others.

Keys to the kingdom. OF HELL.: Courtesy ABC.com Just so we know where we’re at, we start the new season (eee!) to the “da doo bum beh, da doo bum beh” of “Under Pressure.”  Nick, appropriately suited up is on his way not to a fundraiser for Patrick’s Senate campaign, as the media was told, but a birthday party in his honor. He’s met by a phalanx of reporters asking about whether Tripp is contributing to the campaign (he is) and how Nick brokered that deal. Nick smoothly says that was quite the adventure. Krause, I missed your charming face.

Which is a bigger tool?

In the Fauxbo Loft, Sofia and Jeremy are enjoying a morning in, as it were. She wants Jeremy to tell her what he sees when he looks at her with the eyes of a painter. She can’t wait for him to paint her; it’s been two weeks since he said he would. After some bad innuendo about letting his inspiration build, and some wriggling and kissing, he says he’ll start tomorrow. Because, presumably, they’ll be having too much sex today to do anything else.