Peter is at work (for once, right?) at Pawtucket Brewery and he is dispatched to run some shipping reports to the CEO's office. Peter didn't think that could be any fun or entertaining - without a wise cracking rabbi ("Do you charge a lot for your circumcisions?" "No, I just keep the tips." Yikes.) Peter makes a detour to see the executive bathroom. He goes through the door, gets onto a waiting helicopter and heads (with a Sir Richard Attenborough look-a-like) to "Executive Bathroom Island." Yeah, I don't really get it either.

The boys are all watching "Jackass." Johnny Knoxville takes a shotgun blast to the face. Hilarity ensues. Peter thinks they should try some of the wacky stunts they've seen on the show. Cleveland is hesitant, noting the warning at the beginning of the show, but Peter says he wants to recreate something he saw on the show. Lois found the boys engaged in some stupidity - Peter was in a shoipping cart on the roof of the house, held up by Cleveland and Quagmire, with Joe holding a video camera on the ground to chronicle the whole thing. Peter went through with the stunt and was horribly injured (for a cartoon moment, of course.) Quagmire performed a stunt called "Bee Bush," where he covered his private parts with honey and Cleveland released a swarm of bees. The bees made a "beeline" for Quagmire's crotch and Peter took it upon himself to provoke the bees (by screaming "I hate you, bees!"repeatedly.) When that didn't work, Peter slammed into Quagmire as he tip-toed back to the bee holding area, unleashing a crazy bee fury. Peter then snuck up on Cleveland with the hair clippers (a favorite "Jackass" prank.) Ahhh, "Jackass" jokes. How 1998.

Peter and the boys are at the day spa. Quagmire loves the massages, saying that afterwards, you feel like Joe's legs. (I can't believe he didn't mention anything about "happy endings.") Peter was glad to have the chance to unwind as he had a stressful morning, which involved riding his skateboard into town, a la Michael J. Fox in "Back to the Future." Peter went into the room for his massage and obviously had never seen a massage table before - as he pooped in the hole where you put your face. He eventually got his massage, which was a little unusual - it was Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze recreating the famous pottery wheel scene from "Ghost" using Peter's amplee back fat at the clay. Ewww. Cleveland enjoyed the music of the "Quiet Storm" for his massage. When Marvin Gaye kicked in, Cleveland said "That's what I'm talking about." (Let's hope Cleveland brings more funny to his upcoming spin-off. Mayor West watches a man massage his suit. Alrighty then. The boys assembled in the sauna and played "Who would you sleep with if you were gay?" The choices were John Forsythe (the voice of Charlie on "Charlie's Angels") or Sean Connery. John Forsythe won by a landslide - too bad Sean Connery was in the sauna with the guys. How weird. And random.

All of the previews for this week's episode show Mort Goldman, the Jewish pharmacist, Brian and Stewie transported back to Poland during the Nazi invasion. You can be sure Seth and the gang will address the atrocities of WWII with the standards of good taste we've come to expect from "Family Guy." Anywhoo...the Griffins are hosting an Oscar party (Steve Buscemi is a presenter and Peter notes that each one of his teeth is "in business for itself." In fact, during the presentation of the award, one of his teeth defects to attend the Elton John party; much to the dismay of the tooth who wanted to go to the Governor's Ball.) Mort asked to use the bathroom because he took a laxative and a stool hardener at the same time and they were "fighting it out." He knocks on the bathroom door, but it's occupied by Meg. Mort insists he really has to go and Quagmire (holding a video camera) pops out of the shower and says that she'll be out in a minute (ewww...so creepy!) Mort goes into Stewie's room and finds what he thinks is a port-a-pottie - but it's definitely not and Mort disappears.

The Griffins head to a fifties-themed diner for a meal. Lois tells the kids that there's a lot of history there, as the fifties diners were "really popular in the eighties." Peter says they don't serve any of that 1950s food anymore - like hamburgers, french fries and Cokes. Lois loved that all of the servers looked like celebrities from the 50s, pointing out Marilyn Monroe, Elvis and James Dean (after the accident.) Cleveland showed up, only to be immediately forced out the doors by fire hose-toting policemen and growling dogs (to which Cleveland says "Oh, that takes me back.")

Peter is throwing a costume party and Brian is dressed as Snoopy (by coloring his ears black.) Peter punches Brian in the stomach and says that you can't punch Snoopy in the stomach as hard as you can and he won't feel it. Brian said that was Houdini, not Snoopy. Peter then made the dog do the Snoopy dance - and punched him in the stomach again. Quagmire showed up dressed as Napoleon Dynamite. Peter was dressed as Laura Bush and Lois was "the guy she killed." Stewie was upset that he and Brian were both dressed as Snoopy. Brian can't get over the fact that Stewie os pronouncing "ruined" as "roo-eened." Joe wore a speedo, a porn stache and a bunch of medals for his Mark Spitz costume (to which Quagmire asked him if he was Mark Spitz after diving into the shallow end of the pool.) Cleveland, in a Charlie Chaplin costume, said he thought Joe was a "crippled Magnum P.I." Lois introduced Brian to a friend of hers from her yoga class named Jane, who came dressed as a "murdered fetus." She's definitely not the one for Brain, and he heads off with Woodstock who says something in bird language to Brian. He responds, "yep, with a capital C."

The Griffins are at the vet. Peter was complaining about the high cost of boarding Brian there and joked that it would be cheaper to put him up at the Holiday Inn. His joke got no response, well except for crickets - Adam West's pet cricket has restless legs syndrome. Brian is having some sort of tummy trouble. Peter is preoccupied watching a cat lick himself, which creeps him out. The cat just thinks he's jealous. Meg declares that she wants to be a vet, but Peter reminds her that she's destined to gain 150 pounds and write "Ugly Betty" fan fiction. Peter makes friends with a parrot in the waiting room. Peter steals the bird and replaces it on the perch with a puppy in a top hat and fake moustache. Brian comes out with the doctor. He's fine now, a dirty diaper he ate was obstructing his stomach. Brian says he thought it was Indian food. They go to check out with the doctor's intern, Anna, who is quite attractive. Chris falls in love when he sees her - and sings "Crazy for You." Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland are all at the Drunken Clam watching some bad rom-com about an overly busy businesswoman. Peter walks in with the parrot on his shoulder. The guys are excited to see the bird, who Peter has named Adrian Beaky. Joe says he looks like a pirate and they all think he should get a pirate name, peg leg, hook hand and pursue a life of piracy.

Brian and Stewie are at a birthday party for a kid named Joel (the banner says, "Nice name, by the way." Anyone know if that's some sort of inside "FG" joke?) Brian asked Strewie, who was made up as a cat if he wanted to go. He said he did, the party "sucked" because the face painters didn't know who Darth Maul was. He said it was worse "than a Mexican funeral" - cue cutaway to a whole buncha Mexicans in the same coffin, with an organist playing a sad version of "La Cucaracha." Brian sees an attractive woman by the magician and asks Stewie who it is. He tells Brian that it's one of the kids' Moms who's husband either died or was wounded in Iraq. No, wait, he's dead, just like the Pink Panther, who passed from inhaling too much Owens Corning Fiberglass Insulation. Brian approaches the woman, who says she loves magicians, which leads Brian to admit he was a magician who worked with Doug Henning. He then did an impersonation of the late magician, by putting on bad teeth and making a bad AIDS joke. Yikes. The imitation worked on the lady, and she invited him to do his magic for her son's birthday party the next week.

Ok, am I the only one who thinks this show may have run its course? Maybe Seth McFarlane is just devoting all of his attention to the Cleveland spin-off? Sigh. Oh well...Brian won first prize at the New England Rising Writers' COntest and is going to be honored at a ceremony in Martha's Vineyard. Lois and Chris think it's great, and then there's a cutaway to a very unfunny cancer joke. Lois calls Peter so they could get going to a lunch date with Lois' parents, but Peter seemed to have forgotten - considering he's decked out in fishing gear. He goes to "change", which involves frantically assembling Cleveland and Quagmire and jumping into Joe's truck. Peter calls Lois and tells her that on the way to the bedroom he "took ill". She knows he's lying, probably due to the fact that she heard and engine and Quagmire saying "hi."

The guys are in the Drunken Clam, watching "G.I. Jose - A Real Mexican Hero", who warns the kids not to jump into a dangerous quarry and then tries to sell them gum, stuffed toys and inflatable mallets - and offers his services for odd jobs around the house. The news cuts in - Barry Manilow is scheduled to be in town that weekend. The guys all grumble and say they'd never pay to see the show. Peter suggests they should all go, "as a goof" to look at all of the idiots. They started to admit that some of Barry's songs were kinda catchy, like "Mandy", "Copacabana" and pretty much his whole catalog. They finally 'fess up and admit that they're all "Fanilows" and they decide to go - after singing "Ready to Take a Chance Again." (The delicate irony is that I am actually going to see Barry Manilow on Saturday night!)