It’s the final episode of Hey Paula, and thank god they broke free from the usual format (e.g. Paula’s busy schedule forces her to tears, fatigue and hunger). Instead, we were given a highlight reel of the season. Clips included Paula’s efforts to not be on the worst dressed lists, her multiple QVC appearances and outrageous television interviews as well as her endless attempts to squash those pesky drug/alcohol rumors.

Paula wants to spend some QT with her friends and decides to take them to a pre-Oscar gifting suite (now, that’s my kinda friend!).  But someone should probably explain to her that being in the same place as your friends doesn’t qualify as actually “spending time” with them.  She’s having major difficulties getting the phone off her ear and ends up ignoring her BFFs and missing an appointment with Daniel.

Another week, another trip, another interview, another chance for Paula to have a meltdown.  

It’s 2 a.m. and Paula’s QVC appearance has just ended.  Due to a snowstorm, Paula’s flight to New York has been cancelled.  Grounded for the night in Philly, Paula’s a little slap happy and tries to pull a prank on her assistant.  Slipping beef jerk (which could easily pass for a little pile of poo) into her bed, Paula goes into a laughing fit, rolling around on the floor.  Her assistants oblige her with some giggles, and Paula muses that it was good for her to release some endorphins.  Telling everyone she loves them, Paula heads off to bed.  But you know someone’s always trying to knock our girl down, and she makes the mistake of checking her email one last time for the day.

The perpetually tired and hungry Paula juggles yet another busy schedule this week.  En route to host an In Defense of Animals (IDA) fundraiser, Paula’s running late thanks to an American Idol taping and is—surprise!—hungry.  Panda Express, Starbucks, Popeye’s, Pink’s and other fast food restaurants pass by her limo window, but alas, she never stops to grab a snack.  Lord knows if I was a celeb, hungry and already running late to an event, my limo would be zipping in and out of a drive-thru, hands down.  Nothing like a little chow mein before hitting the press line!

Despite low ratings for last week’s dual-episode premiere, the crazy train that is Paula Abdul keeps chugging along.

After a publicist’s nightmare of a media tour, Paula gathers her entourage to devise a strategy.  She needs to refute rumors that she’s a drunk/druggie, and she needs to do it fast. Worried she might lose endorsement deals as well as her favorable reputation, Paula breaks down in tears over the “lies” that are being told about her.  But is exhaustion really causing her to be such a mess?  Really?

The poor thing is pretty messy.

I mean, really, listening to the intro of Hey Paula with its “Straight Up” snippet is enough to hook me right there.

Paula’s a busy bee again this episode, and she’s jetting off to New York to accept a fashion award from the YMA group.  At the urging of Publicist Jeff (and just a short fourteen minutes prior to arriving at the ceremony), Paula decides to finally take a look at her acceptance speech.  Her attention span wanes, and it isn’t long before the speech is literally tossed in the air.

Love her or hate her, Paula’s pretty entertaining.  She’s been in the business for twenty years and says her fans are her life.  Thus, her extreme sensitivity to bad press, which she’s been receiving her fair share of this year.  Seizing the chance to show the world “the gift” that she is, Paula gives us a peek into her hectic life and many business ventures.

Whizzing down the street in chauffeured car (are you watching Paris and Lindsey?), Paula passes a streetcorner boasting both a Panda Express and a Starbucks, declaring, “Between the two, we can figure out a balanced meal.”  Now this is my kinda girl!