Sasha's taking a break this week and has graciously agreed to let me try my hand at a serious *wiggling eyebrows* recap. Thanks, Sasha. I'm pretty sure you'll never let me behind the wheel again. The episode opens with a man praying to Allah in the direction of Mecca. He's prostrate on a little ship named the LunaSea. LunaSea, lunacy, it's all the same when it comes to Criminal Intent. We cut then to a blonde climbing into the shower with a guy wearing a cheap coral shell necklace, the kind of necklace you can get at on the street at Waikiki for a buck-fifty. Evidently, the cheap necklace does something for the chick who makes out with the guy.

We open to a Ukranian woman, home with her child. She's being surveilled. She gets an email. "I need to see you tonight. 9 pm," it says. As she stares at it, her boyfriend walks in. She tells him she and the baby jump came in. He grabs her arm. "You are lying!" he says. "Change the baby."

Meanwhile, a middle-aged man sits at his computer, obviously jittery. We learn he's being honored tonight by the Audobon Society for saving some hawks.

    We open to a man in some sort of a doctor's office -- we're in a lot of doctors' offices lately on this show -- and he's putting a laughing gas mask over his own head, possibly to get high. He's enjoying the rush, when all of a sudden a gloved hand pushes itself over the mask and turns off the flow of oxygen. The man suffocates, and the killer leaves.

    The victim, it turns out, is a dentist, Dr. Goldman, and Eames interviews his secretary. Dr. Goldman was killed in his free clinic, but he also ran a successful Park Avenue clinic. She says his patients all loved him, and that he had no history of getting high off of laughing gas.

It’s another season of Law and Order: Criminal Intent, this time on the USA network. We open with two men in a car, on a rainy night, discussing one of their three-year-old kids’ performances in a recent baseball game. Looks like they’re on some sort of stake-out. The proud papa gets a page. “Call in a bathroom break for me,” he says, and exits the car.

We jump to an old boys’ poker game, and listen to Captain Ross tell the story of how his wife found their 15-year-old son in bed with a girl. Everyone laughs.