Hey, it's that vampire show

Obviously I have to start this recap off on a very sad note, as Moonlight has been cancelled, and resurrection isn't looking good. I really was shocked by the cancellation, since I think that if CBS gave the show a chance to get cohesion behind the scenes, there was great potential there. However, it was not to be, and that...well, bites.

Hey, it's that vampire show

This week's episode begins in the darkened bedroom of a frightened boy who's hearing strange noises. He's snatched by someone who seems to reach down from the ceiling. For a moment, I forget that this is Moonlight and not part of the marathon rewatch of The X-Files I'm currently undertaking. In the light of day, Beth meets Josh Ben (I'm going to try very hard to remember his name this week) for coffee and they discuss the kidnapping. There were two similar cases Beth covered for BuzzWire (no suspect and the boys were killed), and Josh wants her to help him with the case since she's "already done the leg work." Gee, you know who else I bet has done the leg work? I'm pretty sure they have these people who are trained professionals in catching killers and solving crimes. Last time I checked, they were called "the police."

Hey, it's that vampire show

We begin this week with a terrified Mick being driven in a sports car by a reckless young woman who's trying to outrun the paparazzi. Meanwhile, Beth is lunching with her apparent new BFF, Ben Talbot. Beth is concerned about her new BuzzWire editor, and Ben gives her a backhanded compliment about how Beth's BuzzWire work isn't as fluffy and crappy as he thought it would be. Mick and the mystery lady, a young celeb named Lindsay Lohan Tierney Taylor, pull up at the restaurant as shutters click. Mick's Emo Voice Over (EVO) lets us know that Mick has decided that Beth was right about his vampirism not defining him, and he's getting out in the world more. He's also a bit overwhelmed with his new job protecting the lovely Tierney from the creepy paps.

Tierney's boyfriend, Scott, is a musician, and Mick thinks perhaps Scott's tipping off the photographers for the publicity. A Hollywood producer comes over to schmooze, and Tierney says he's producing her new movie, Lusitania, which will be a new billion-dollar franchaise. Heh. I guess the sequels will involve raising the doomed ship from the ocean floor. Or, knowing Hollywood, they'll change the ending and the ship won't sink at all, but sail on and battle aliens in Lusitania 3: Space Torpedo.

Hey, it's that vampire show

We return from strike-imposed hiatus to find that Mick's Emo Voice Over (EVO) is decidedly chipper. Mick's walking on sunshine -- sleeping in a bed, drinking OJ, eating to his heart's content and swanning about with his shirt open. His motto is "carpe diem," which he helpfully translates as "seize the day" for the viewers who haven't seen Dead Poets Society.

Hey, it's that vampire show

The last episode (for now, right, CBS? RIGHT?) opens with Beth visiting the police department. After she pauses for oversaturated flashbacks to Josh's sweet smile and tragic death, she signs her witness statement. On her way out, she runs into Mick, giving him the cold shoulder. He reiterates that he did everything he could to save Josh, and that he lives (so to speak) every day regretting what he is, and he refuses to subject anyone else to that fate. I'm completely on Mick's side, for the record. Beth says she's trying to understand, but she needs some time. It's all very emo, with swelling music and slow motion.

Mick arrives at the Fortress of Style to find the strong scent of decay in the air (the older a vampire gets, the smellier he or she becomes). A creepy vamp and his henchman are waiting, and Creepy (who has one eye that's completely black) informs Mick that they're looking for Coraline, who has taken something important. Then they jump off the side of Mick's building, because as well as becoming ripe, vampires apparently also get overly dramatic with age.

Hey, it's that vampire show

In his abode, the Fortress of Style, Mick exercises shirtless as the Emo Voice Over (EVO) blathers on about an immortal struggling with mortal feelings. I'm sure Mick's innermost feelings are, like, rilly important and all, but I'm afraid I can't concentrate on anything but his sweaty chest.

Hey, it's that vampire show

It's been three long weeks since we last checked in with McBeth, and I'm sorry you had to wait a couple of extra days for this recap. I was busy publishing a novella and visiting New York City, but no sooner did I drop my suitcase in the hallway than I cued up the TiVo. Thanks for your patience!

We begin in unconscious Coraline's hospital room, where the doctor tells McBeth that Beth's stake missed Coraline's heart, but hit her lung. Of course, the doc doesn't know it was Beth's stake per se, since Mick's covering for her and claiming it was some kind of accident. They're in wait and see mode, and Mick is very worried. He also really, really wants to know how Coraline de-vamped herself, and if she bites it, he never will. Meanwhile, in the Big Apple, a hitman presents a sickly old man on an oxygen machine with a glossy photo of Josef. The old man, who lives in a posh Manhattan apartment, is played by Ian Abercrombie, a.k.a. Mr. Pitt. Mr. Pitt orders the hitman to burn Josef to death, over the clueless hitman's understandable objections, since fire isn't exactly the stealthiest form of murder. But Mr. Pitt insists, and our killer for hire should just be happy that he's not being ordered to look for the perfect pair of tube socks.

Hey, it's that vampire show

For a change of pace, Beth picks up the Emo Voice Over (EVO) reigns this week and talks about the fleeting and fragile nature of memories as she pounds on the door of Mick's apartment, the Fortress of Style. Inside, she tells a strangely wet and half-naked Mick (always a good look for him!) that Morgaline is actually Coraline, but Mick already knows. On cue, Coraline slinks downstairs wearing only Mick's shirt, and Mick insists it's not what it seems. Beth's pissed and hurt, and winds up plunging what looks like a large phallic symbol of sexual frustration white stake into Coraline's chest. Badass! Looks like Beth's certainly going to earn the emo in her voice over in this episode.

Hey, it's that vampire show

We begin this week with the Emo Voice Over (EVO) rambling on about being shot as Mick removes a bullet from his arm. It's an "occupational hazard," and even though non-silver bullets don't really hurt vamps, they make it hard to go through metal detectors. Mick's skin heals instantly, à la Claire from Heroes (although I don't think Mick should try cutting off his pinky toe to see if it sprouts back), but the EVO notes that old wounds still ache sometimes. Of course, for Beth, she's simply blocked out her kidnapping by Coraline. Probably not for long, EVO. This is November sweeps, after all.

Hey, it's that vampire show

We begin tonight with our hero up on the roof (or possibly his balcony?) as he hangs from a bar with his feet and does ab crunches. Way to dispel the myth that vampires = bats, Mick! As the Emo Voice Over (EVO) rambles on about the dangers of complacency, Mick finally notices the towering inferno behind him in the distance. Black trench coat billowing, he hits the scene, pausing to help some firefighters open a stuck hydrant. Beth leaves her new cameraman (Kevin Weisman W must be back in Gambler's Anonymous) to do his thing and heads over to Mick to commiserate over the landmark hotel that's burning. Mick remembers going there for brunch after church as a child, but that's forgotten when he spots his dead wife Coraline snapping pictures of the fire. Yep, just when you're feeling pretty good about life, the universe has a way of pissing in your corn flakes.