Sorry for the day-long delay, but since the other day was my birthday I've only just now gotten around to watching this week's Shear Genius. I didn't know what to expect after my beloved Tabatha failed to make the cut last week, but I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Sure, the episode felt a tiny bit flat without Tabatha's awesome bitchiness, but as further proof that Shear Genius is simply a great reality show, I remained thouroughly entertained despite my lack of enthusiasm for the final 4.

The Shortcut Challenge featured Emmy-winning celebrity hairstylist Kiyah Wright and required the stylists to straighten and style the hair of African-American women. As last week's winners, Anthony and Daisy got to pick clients first and second, respectively, followed by Ben, and then Boogie.

What a terrible night for reality TV! Not that the shows weren't enjoyable but the results (mostly) infuriated the crap out of me. I'm probably in the minority here, but American Idol was the only show with a satisfying ending. For weeks now, I've been hoping for a Blake/Jordin showdown. No question that Melinda was the best singer, but boooooring! I want a great pop album from my American Idol, not adult contemporary. But then the night took a turn for the worse. First Renee failed to make the final 2 on America's Next Top Model because she photographed "too old." Bullshit. Jaslene didn't deserve to win, but at least she beat mail-order bride Natasha. And then...sigh...and then there was Shear Genius, without a doubt the most upsetting of the night. So without further ado, I'll try to recap this episode as best as possible despite my continued rage nearly 24 hours later.

I'm filling in this week for the fabulous Jon , who will be returning next week. So don't fret, gentle readers, and enjoy this week's recap of (the unfortunately titled) episode 5, "The Competition Gets Hairy".

Previous challenge winner Danna reads a note from Jaclyn, which directs the remaining stylists to Shorty's Barbershop. Tabatha, convinced their clients are dogs (taking a page from Project Runway's book, are we?), seems mortified. Boogie is praying for actual dudes so he can work his magic with the clippers. At the shop, Jaclyn asks Boogie who he thinks is ready to go. "Probably Ben or Tyson", Boogie asserts, which Ben dismisses. No matter, though, as nobody is going home that day. And now the celebrity judge -- Christophe ! Is it just me, or does he bear more than a passing resemblance to that hot Indian guy who married Elizabeth Hurley ? And Anthony's all "I'm sure my mouth was open!" which, to me, doesn't quite convey the excitement he felt, but whatevs. The clients are, to Tabatha, Boogie, and Ben's relief, men who are to be taken "from geek to chic". Danna picks her model first, while the rest pick in order by the number contained in their scissor boxes. Christophe starts off the hour in which they stylists will consult and make over.

As the stylists walk into the salon to receive their next assignment, I notice that Evangelin has the hedge clippers from last week tucked into her belt. Did this girls learn nothing?!? Sure, she may have won last week’s challenege but I would hardly consider that a green light from the judges to go ahead and permanently add hedge clippers (HEDGE CLIPPERS!) to your hair cutting tools. It was a one time deal meant to challenge you, idiot.

I love how this show doesn't waste any time in getting right to the point. As soon as the episode starts, Jaclyn and Sally assign the stylists their Short Cut Challenge for the week. One of Sally Hershberger's more notable haircuts is the "Sally Shag," famously worn by Meg Ryan. The stylists are all given identical mannequin heads and must recreate the "Sally Shag" as closely as possible within the allotted time. Before they begin though, Sally shows them how it's done. Some of the stylists get so excited that apparently, watching Sally Hershberger at work is the equivalent of hairstylist porn.

Jaclyn Smith introduces the stylists to Roy Teeluck, the Nexxus head stylist under whom the winner will receive an apprenticeship, who will be the guest judge for the week. Together, they assign the Short Cut Challenge: change a mannequin’s hair color from black to at least a level 8 blonde in 2 hours. The winner will get their choice of client in the next Elimination Challenge.

Now I’m not entirely sure how dark a level 8 blonde is, but as the stylists get to work it seems to my untrained eyes that a lot of them are way too dark. Boogie’s seemed as though he was on his way to being the trainwreck of the week when he somehow turned the mannequin’s hair blue (!!!), but he somehow managed to fix it into a brownish blonde.

After the fairly disappointing Top Design, I have to admit that I was unsure what to make of Shear Genius, but good news everyone! At least based on the first episode, Shear Genius is tons of fun, making it a much more worthy successor to the truly amazing Project Runway and Top Chef than was Top Design. Just as the previous shows searched for the best fashion designer, chef, and interior decorator, Shear Genius is a search for the best hairstylist out of a batch of 12 seasoned pros. The winner will receive $100,000 from Nexxus, an apprenticeship with Nexxus stylist Roy Teluck, and a chance to style hair for an Allure magazine feature. Stylist Rene Fris serves as “salon manager” while Charlie’s Angels’ Jaclyn Smith hosts and serves as head judge along with Sally Hershberger and Michael Carl.

The show will feature two challenges each week. The first is called a Short Cut Challenge, followed by an Elimination Challenge. The Short Cut this week will test the stylists’ technical skills; they have one hour to create their signature style on a mannequin head. Sally will serve as the judge and she will rank everyone from 1 to 12, with the winner receiving first model choice in the Elimination Challenge.

For some reason, we didn’t get brief little introductions to each contestant so we’re left to judge everyone based on first impressions. Some make no impression at all. As the stylists go to work on their decapitated dummy heads, it becomes clear that two people are going to be interesting characters: Dr. Boogie, a flamboyant he-diva who likes to cut hair with clippers, and Evangelin, a mother who loves cutting hair so much that it makes her cry as she explains that “there’s nothing better than what I do.” Oh brother.

Most of the final signature styles look like complete disasters. My favorite was Paul-Jean’s, which looked like something Jaclyn Smith would do with her hair. Sally announces the results from worst to best: in last place was Tabatha, followed by Lacey, Evangelin, Ben, Jim, Theodore, Anthony, Danna, and Dr. Boogie. Paul-Jean came in third, with Daisy in second, and Tyson winning first place for his “modern and edgy” ‘do. Aww, Tyson’s excited because his mom’s going to be proud since she’s the one that brought him into the hair business. Tyson seems really odd, but he’s almost cute despite his awkward stiffness.

HAHAHAHA!!! WOW…Dr. Boogie apparently isn’t gay, even though he makes definitely gay Theodore look butch. As Jaclyn introduces Rene Fris to the stylists, Boogie tells the camera that he’s “not gay or anything like that but Rene is gorgeous!” What is it with all these closet cases on the Bravo shows?!? Suddenly, Matt on Top Design actually seems credibly straight.

The Elimination Challenge is to create a hair art masterpiece in two hours. For those of you not in the know, hair art isn’t actually something a reasonable person would wear; it’s a crazy looking hair installation featuring added components in addition to the hair.

Rene takes the stylists to Michael’s to shop for art supplies. They get 10 minutes and $75 each. Much as I liked Paul-Jean earlier, he’s now starting to seriously get on my nerves. He apparently feels that this challenge is stupid because nobody would ever walk into his salon and ask him to create hair art. No shit, Frenchie. That’s why it’s “art.” It’s not meant to be practical.

Dr. Boogie threatens to pinch Rene’s nipples as he’s being rung up at the register. He’s straight.

The stylists choose their models in order of rank, meaning Tyson goes first and Tabatha gets stuck with the last model. Paul-Jean makes a scene over the fact that all the models he wanted have been chosen already, causing Rene to slightly lose his cool. And Boogie, who is still 100% straight, jokes about wanting to choose Rene instead of a model.

As the stylists get to work, it becomes clear that these hairdos are either going to be stunning or completely hideous. It also becomes clear that Paul-Jean is indeed a total jackass when he bickers with Rene and says that the master stylist is out of his league when he critiques the Paul-Jean’s work.

Jaclyn, Sally and Michael are joined by guest judge Frédéric Fekkai, who is apparently a big shot in the hairstyling world.

The stylists did an absolutely amazing job. Most of these are stunning, especially Theodore’s, which incorporated a jewel box onto the model’s head and actually popped open to reveal treasure! Tabatha’s crazy mohawk-like ‘do was also awesome. Jim and Lacey both turned in complete boring hairdos and Paul-Jean’s was a train wreck of extensions.

Tabatha, despite finishing dead last in the Short Cut, ends up in the top three along with Theodore and Daisy, but it’s Theodore’s inventive work that wins the prize as Jaclyn declares: “Your work was shear genius!”

Tyson, despite winning the Short Cut, finds himself in the bottom three with Lacey and Paul-Jean, but Tyson is the first of the three to be sent back to safety. I thought the judges were going to send home Lacey, who really didn’t do much of anything, but instead it’s Paul-Jean who hears the words: “I’m sorry, this was your final cut.”