Just plain Brenda. So the last time I saw this guy, his name was Haywire and he was being crazy on Prison Break. Or rather, being in someone else’s crazy hallucinations on Prison Break, in which he was still crazy. And now he’s finding dead bodies in an alley, in the covered back of a pick-up truck and administering Catholic last rites, so… still crazy? He calls the authorities, and next thing you know, Brenda and her entourage are on the scene.

Just plain Brenda. There is someone in Brenda's kitchen. Using Brenda's knives. While Brenda and Fritz sleep upstairs. It's supposed to be ominous, but then it's just cutting coffee cake. Willie Rae and Clay are in town, thanks to the RV, and they've made a super huge and delicious-looking breakfast. Brenda and Fritz: gee... thanks. Come on! Breakfast! The best meal of the day!

Just plain Brenda. Sanchez lovingly works on his motorcycle, in an off-duty outfit of white tee and jeans. He's just turned on the engine when the distinct sound of gunfire pops outside. He pauses, turning off the motor, grabs a weapon from a nearby tool chest, and takes off at a run, gun in hand. He shouts to a young woman that he's LAPD, and she, spattered in someone else's blood, says her friend's been shot. Sanchez runs to the victim, lying on the sidewalk, and tears off his shirt to staunch the wounds. He knows the victim, asking Oscar what the hell he did. Oscar asks if he's dying, and Sanchez says he's not. He calls Tao, asking for units to be sent to the area; his brother's been shot. Oh, you just know things are not going to end well now.

Just plain Brenda. Brenda hums tunelessly in the shower. Fritz joins her for a bit of misdirection: she looks down and asks, "What's that?" Not what you're thinking, though, because it's a listing for a house that is great, within their price range, and in a great school district. It's also in Calabasas, which is way far away from work, which Fritz demonstrates geographically by throwing Brenda's things around the bed. Calabasas is on the floor, a foot away from the foot of the bed. Later, her phone's ringing, and Fritz is trying to figure out if Brenda really doesn't want to live somewhere in the Valley. She doesn't want to answer him OR the phone, but he forces her to answer the phone at least. It's Gabriel, reporting a critical missing. A thirteen-year-old boy has been missing an hour and a half; Brenda suggests Fritz call the office and volunteer so they can practice their car-pooling. Fritz gives her a look, but he calls anyway.

Just plain Brenda. "George" (Provenza) and "Angie" (Jennifer Coolidge) haggle in a parking lot over when Angie will pay George for killing her husband. Angie wants to buy George lunch, but Provenza just wants the sting over with so he can get this idiot woman out of his face. In a surveillance van nearby, Flynn grouses at watching Angie flirt with Provenza. When she says she won't pay up until the police notify her that her husband is definitely dead, Flynn intervenes and makes the call. Angie is simply delighted at the news, laughing as she hands over the cash. Provenza signals the others, and Sanchez and Daniels arrive to make the arrest for attempted murder. Brenda, Flynn, and Buzz join in as Provenza flashes his badge, but Angie is thoroughly confused. She says that since Provenza didn't tell her he was lying, she can't be arrested. Brenda's like, well, when you put it that way, you are even stupider than we thought.

Not getting any. Brenda and Fritz are in bed. It is a Good Morning for them. It seems that Brenda might not have got everything she's, uh, looking for, though Fritz is mighty pleased; Brenda leaps on him for another go-round, and Fritz carries her through the house until his back gives out and Brenda's phone goes off. She's forced to leave him prone on the floor while she goes to work, though he does think the minor muscle spasm will ease up in time for a nooner. I can't even believe I'm writing this.

Just plain Brenda. The hills are on fire in LA. It is totally freaking Brenda Leigh out. Not only is Brenda dealing with a crime scene that encompasses an entire park-area of wildfire, but she's being shadowed by a reporter named Ricardo. She's got four bodies to deal with, and the LAFD won't talk to her. This is because she isn't supposed to be there, as the LAPD is only supposed to manage evacuations, direct traffic, and tow cars. Pope and Taylor tell her they're not sure they're dealing with arson, though Gabriel thinks they are. Brenda is freaking out over the "massive, massive" crime scene. "It's not a muder anymore, it's a natural disaster," she says. Pope and Brenda argue about the reporter, and two firefighters bring in another charred victim. Pope pulls rank, and Brenda can only say, "yippee." Four minutes in and not a "thank you, thank you so much"? Whatever, show.

Johnson Family Christmas Vacation: Watch Your Language

It’s Christmas in LA, though you wouldn’t know from the puss on Brenda Leigh Johnson’s face. Fritz is trimming the tree with absolutely no help from his betrothed. She thinks decorating the house to give it a homey, holiday vibe to entice buyers is ridiculous, despite the advice of their realtor Gary Doesn’t Lie. She snits that he hasn’t brought them a buyer in three months and he’s about to traipse another absolute lock through their house. I wonder if she’s still off sugar for the whole menopause thing, because now would be a good moment for a cookie. Plus, it makes people buy your house! Fritz says that if Brenda doesn’t want to show the house, they don’t have to show the house. And if it weren’t Fritz and Brenda we were talking about, I’d say I can’t believe they’re still having this argument, but we are, so, you know. Knock me over with a feather and all.

So I'll be honest with y'all, this is going on the fourth time I've seen this episode, and any improvements it might gain this time come solely from the glass of wine sitting right behind my laptop screen. Brenda learns some good lessons this week, about honesty and love and the justice system, but she also learns that the best way to stretch a plot from one to two hours is to find the accomplice and jam as much exposition as is possible into whatever crevice the episode might then contain. And when you've got spots leftover, you hand them to Fritz.

So we're all out of chronological order this week, witnessing a trial and the investigation concurrently, flipping back and forth between them at convenient moments of televisual intersection. But we start with Buzz's video of the crime scene, just as we did in the season premiere, with organized chaos between pops and snaps of static. Everyone pushes Buzz and his camera to the back of a mansion home, where Brenda, poolside, tells him they have to hurry and "fish him out." To that end, Sanchez wields a pool skimmer with a long, long handle towards a body in the water. Oblivious to both Buzz and his camera, Sanchez clocks the lens but good. Brenda starts to ID herself for the camera but notes with some irritation that Buzz is bleeding.