We kick off with some bad news for Les Girls! The marketing department decided that the ending won't test for audiences.  Yes, it's apparently "too gay" and the main character must ultimately end up with her boyfriend.  This works better for mass appeal and the lesbian thing only sells to a certain extent.  Lesbians need to be relatable AKA straight and the sexy lesbians are only so marketable.  Tina is clearly pissed however Adele seems unfazed.  

This week kicks off with a scene from the film.  Bev admits she had been cheating but Nina is the love of her life.  Nina throws the table in a fit of anger-a little foreshadowing perhaps?  But clearly she isn't too angered since a few choice words have coerced Nina into a quick change of heart. At The Planet, the ladies discuss Jodi's whereabouts since her recent falling out/break up with Bette.  Max informs the group that she has been staying with a friend but no one sure who.  Bette confesses she hasn't spoken to Jodi, since she won't return any of her phone calls.  No one is the least bit shocked Jodi has no interest in talking to Bette.  Jenny tries to remind them they are sisters but no one is interested in her crap.  It's amazing anyone IS interested/puts up with Jenny's crap.  Even her new positive Polly attitude is tough to buy.  Cindy and her girl come in and announce they bought 51% of The Planet from Ivan.  Kit, in a fit of anger, throws the table at them.  She demands they leave but being new owners they have no obligation to honor her demands.  Jodi makes a surprise appearance.  She tells Bette they need to spend time together- obviously avoiding the irony of using the word talk.  They leave together.  Bette clears her morning meetings to "spend time" with Jodi. Bette admits that fixing things with Jodi is more important than her meetings.  Meanwhile, Adele is taking on meetings in Jenny's place.  Tina runs off to mitigate the situation- feeling that something isn't right.  

It’s the old rolling blackouts trope. Always good for some illicit sex in the dark.

Jenny & Niki: Filming of Lez Girls is being interrupted due to rolling power outages, but not before Jenny discovers that Niki actually DID sleep with her male co-star she’d attended her movie premiere with last week. No doubt, this thrilled Adelle to death. There’s a big blowup on set in front of everyone and Jenny fires her only male star.

The L Word Cast

 I prefer to spin the lack of an episode recap last week into the benefit of you getting the continuity of having two episodes discussed in one post. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Lez Girls: It’s apparently become necessary to open each episode this season with a scene from or about Lez Girls. Last week, we’re privy to the onset filming of an Entertainment Tonight type show reporting on the movie. They’re just in time to see two of the actresses practically get into a cat fight over a scene. This week, we step back from Lez Girls to Nikki’s last movie, which is scheduled to open soon. She’s some kind of cat burglar, sex-kitten in a latex black jumpsuit. Yeah.

The last two weeks, we get to see the progression of Nikki’s path of destruction in regards to her career as every boy’s fantasy actress. Last week it was a Turkish Oil Wrestling match at Shebar, which turned out to be a disaster for everyone involved. Firstly, Adelle brought more of her machinations into play by encouraging Nikki to attend the wrestling match when she knew they were expecting her on set. Then, not only did Nikki get caught on tape, half-naked, wrestling an equally half-naked woman, but Kit grabbed her opportunity for revenge and called the cops to have the owners arrested for serving to a minor (Nikki is only 20). Only because one of the cops was a fan of Nikki’s did she avoid arrest herself.

This week, her agents are having conniptions over the rumors that she’s a lesbian and one of them, Kevin, goes to see Tina, spitting mad about it happening on her watch. He and Tina decide Nikki should be seen at her premiere with good looking dick. The lone actor in Lez Girls is chosen as the lucky guy.

Jenny is having a meeting with the costume girl, which basically revolves around her cooing over the dresses they’ve picked out. Tina interrupts to tell her that TPTB want to pull Nikki from the movie to save her career. She explains that as a last ditch effort to salvage things, Nikki won’t be taking Jenny to her premiere, but rather Tim, the actor. Jenny goes to Nikki’s trailer, where her little girl is sobbing her eyes out, and confronts Kevin and they have a pissing match over Nikki. I’m totally dumbfounded as to why Jenny hasn’t been punched in the face yet, I swear.

So, Nikki goes with her male escort to the premiere of her movie and we see Jenny and Adelle approaching the red carpet. Kevin bans Jenny from the building, so a security guard asks her to leave. Attaining instant snit status, Jenny sends Adelle inside to get Nikki to let them in. And this is the part I love with all my heart.

Adelle doesn’t come back out. Nope. After sashaying her way down the red carpet, even stopping to have her picture taken, she hangs out around Nikki and the paparazzi, occasionally texting Jenny that she just can’t get to Nikki and to hold on. Then, on the way out, Adelle whispers to Nikki that she should kiss her date, making sure they’re close enough to Jenny for her to get an eyeful. And no, I actually did not feel sorry for Jenny at all when Adelle rejoins her and she’s all teary and sniffly.

Shane, the Lothario: Last week it became pretty obvious that Shane and Molly (Phyllis’ daughter) are playing some king of cat and mouse game, or lesbian and straight girl, whichever.

It all starts when Bette, at the bequest of Phyllis in her attempt to show her daughter that Lesbian Are People Too, escorts Molly and Kit to the set of Lez Girls. When Bette goes off with Tina for some hanky panky, she leaves Shane to amuse Molly. Molly’s acting all bored and put upon, but there’s a spark of interest in this new world that she can’t hide.

After some bantering and virtual shoulder bumping, they’re all pulled into the drama of Nikki at the Shebar. While there, Molly decides to show them all she’s not afraid of no lesbians and lets herself be pulled into the wrestling ring (after Nikki leaves). Shane, of course, taking her responsibilities seriously, jumps in after her [to rescue].

This week, Jodi and Shane are riding their bikes in preparation for the breast cancer ride coming up and stop to rest on a bench. Conversation turns to Molly and Shane admits she sort of has something for her.  Jodi calls Molly a spaghetti girl; straight until wet, but Shane thinks she should take her to the theatre, like a nice date. Aw Shane. Courting your resistant lover. How sweet.  

So, Jodi prepares a really cool Moroccan dinner, inviting her ex and her new girlfriend, Tina and Sam (the photographer on set) and Shane and Molly.

Let’s cut over for a sec to Molly and Phyllis’s whispered discussion at The Planet. Molly has decided to take some time off from school. Needless to say, this doesn’t make mom happy. In a total bout of hypocrisy, Phyllis tells her that people who don’t get an education wind up in the service professions…like Shane. Molly gets up to leave, telling her mom that she’s going to go get gay for Shane, adopt Chinese babies and live in a trailer park.  I’m reserving judgment on Molly, but it just might work out between them. Over at the bar, Shane plays hard to get…as much as she can, and tells Molly to call her.

Now, fast forward to Jodi’s dinner party, where the undercurrents would sweep a whale away. Most of them started pre-party when Jodi told Bette about it. Bette’s reaction was something like “This is a disaster waiting to happen.” I loved it when Jodi told her not to come, then. Of course, Bette backs down, grumbling the whole time.

However, her words seem prophetic when dinner starts and Bette, Jodi and Jodi’s ex have a sign conversation and Tina gets bitchy about them being excluded. After dinner they almost get caught kissing after Bette telling her that was the most excruciating experience she’s had in awhile. I don’t like Bette anymore.

Meanwhile, Shane and Molly are having a private conversation on the side before finally just getting up and going outside to smoke and “talk” some more. Molly does some more ribbing, saying she knows Shane’s story and knows she wants to sleep with her. Shane ain’t no newbie to the game, though. She knows, and tell Molly, that she really doesn’t because Molly will just freak out if she puts a move on her and she doesn’t need that. Sure enough, Molly the Curious leans over, kisses Shane and then immediately wants to go home. Can Shane call ‘em or what?

Military Code of Conduct: This? This plotline is why I watch this show. Remember how pissed at Alice I was? Grrrr. Well, she redeemed herself this week. But I digress.

Last week, we’re introduced to Colonel Davis, who will be prosecuting Tasha. I remembered reading who was going to be playing Davis back before the season started, but once she actually came on camera, I couldn’t for the life of me remember who it was supposed to be. Kelly McGillis, y’all! I shit you not. And god, did she age badly. Anyway, last week set up the gruff, play by the rules Davis who seems to be a good enough person, but can’t seem to deviate from the letter of the military law.

In a side plot that just can’t go anywhere good, Alice has her audition appearance on The Look, a View type show with two other women. It’s quite clear about 30 seconds into this that they’ve only asked her on because they want more dish about gay celebrities who are supposed to be straight, ala Darrel. Thankfully, they didn’t revisit that this week.

So, Davis offers Tasha an honorable discharge via her defending attorney, Beech. She doesn’t realize Tasha is sitting in his office and he very clearly turns the offer down. I actually think he would have done that, even if Tasha hadn’t been around. So, it’s off to trial they go.

This week, Tasha encounters Davis again when they’re both in the gym boxing. I knew EXACTLY how this was going to wind up the minute they cut to the showers, where both Tasha AND Davis are checking out this nubile young cadet who’s strutting around in the nude. Oh, Davis, you sly dyke.

Next, we see Tasha putting the finishing touches on her dress uniform as she heads to trial. All participants, including Alice, file into the courthouse (or whatever the military equivalent is called). Alice’s fashion sense is sometimes just hilarious. Today she’s dressed like a World War II housewife, complete with coiffed hairdo, circa 1948. They leave Alice cooling her heels in a waiting room while the trial starts up.

Beech does his best to show how committed Tasha is to the military service. A female soldier is called to the stand and he questions her about an incident in which Tasha went to bat for her and requested she be assigned. The woman testified quite favorably for Williams, but when Davis got her claws in her, she finally cracked and admitted the special attention had made her uncomfortable.

When they break, Alice gets told they’re done for the day and she gets to come back at the same time tomorrow. I’d be pissed.

When Alice is called to the stand the next day, Davis lights in on her, attempting in her cross examination to back Alice in a corner. It was the age-old prosecuting trick of making the witness get so flustered they hang themselves or someone else. I’m sure we all know how Alice reacts when she’s cornered.

Our little girl comes out swinging, implying that possibly since Davis was “speaking” to her, she could be gay too. I’m pretty sure she started out just being snide and fighting back, but the look on Davis’ face makes it very clear that Alice has hit a nerve.

Davis calls for a recess, during which she tells Alice to relay to Tasha that all she has to do is play by the rules, answer succinctly and to the point during questioning and she’ll let her off. Personally, I’d rather see her outted, but I’m a vindictive bitch sometimes.

Alice tells Tasha and wishes her luck, leaving her to go in to testify on her own behalf. Everything goes as planned until Davis asks Tasha if she believes the Military code of conduct should be strictly adhered to. Tasha says she always has until now. That she doesn’t like seeing the person she loves grilled and questioned like a criminal, and when asked, says that person is Alice.  

And it really is just like a WWII movie ending when Tasha chases Alice down in the parking lot and kisses her in front of God and everybody, complete with swinging her off her feet.  *CHEERS*

I wonder if we’ll be seeing Davis any more?

The L Word Cast

 I must be slow. I just realized that every episode this season is going to open with some kind of scene involving the production of Lez Girls. This week, Jenny is doing some test filming with the Tina and Bette characters. It’s the scene when Tina finds out she’s ovulating and tells Bette, who then proceeds to finger fuck into oblivion against the bathroom sink. It would be hilarious if it was so pathetic. These actresses obviously have never done anything like this before and we all know how patient and understanding Jenny is. The fiasco ends with Jenny declaring she’s getting a Lesbian Sex Coach to come in and teach the actresses how to make sweet girly love.

Jenny continues to play the Diva Director card as she scoffs at filming in Vancouver when she travels up there to scout locations to save money. Once Adelle receives a reply to her text mail to William that they can have all the money they want to film in LA, Jenny is happy and sweet and wants to give Adelle a makeover. They go shopping at Holt Renfrew and you can almost see the gears clicking into place in Adelle’s head. She gets new clothes, new shoes, new makeup (however, haircut must wait for Shane back in LA). All on the wardrobe budget for the movie. You know, on second thought, those two deserve each other.

Unbelievably, Shane visits Shebar to call a truce between “Dawn and my girlfriend Cindy” and herself. She offers to level the playing field with a favor. Fine. Dawn wants Shebar to be a location in the Lez Girls. Fine. But wait, there’s more. Not just A Location shoot. She wants Shebar to replace The Planet for the scenes that were going to be shot there. Thank goodness Shane comes to her sense and tells Dawn to fuck off, causing another “It’s on, Bitch!” exchange. Shane leaves with Cindy’s “Call me” ringing in her ears.

The extent that Shebar owners will go to take down The Planet is shown later when the girls are having a chat and three mice run across the floor in front of Angie who cutely exclaims, “Puppies!” The resulting action from the Health Dept. has Kit shutting down till further notice and the ‘infestation’ is cleared out. I totally get why we see Kit at the firing range in the next scene, blasting away in target practice.

We aren’t privy to much of what’s going on with Alice and Tasha this week, except that Alice packed up Tasha’s things and handed her a suitcase at the door. They had their little talk about ‘trust’ and the lack thereof and Tasha left. But I have hopes for my girls. They may not be meant to be together right this moment, but I think their time will come. Now Alice has to decide if she wants a high profile gay life (she got offered a fill-in host spot on a talk show) or Tasha (who she’s crying for constantly).

Bette and Tina keep dancing around each other pretending the kissing doesn’t mean anything. But, how do you keep doing that once you’ve fucked all night in bed? Yeah. It seems those two can’t get near each other anymore without sucking on each other’s tonsils. Bette’s finally starting to realize that her thing with Jodi doesn’t hold a candle to what she had with Tina, though. I’ll just be sitting over here with my hand close to my face so I can cover my eyes when Jodi walks in on the two of them. You KNOW that’s got to happen.

Phyllis is proceeding with her divorce and whaddaya know…Joyce has offered to represent here again now that they’re not making sweet, sweet love any longer. I love when she told her the way she looked at it, Phyllis owed her the case. Ha! Then there’s yet ANOTHER party. This time at Phyllis’ house where the climax of the evening seems to be older women dancing in black bras. Seriously. Of course, Phyllis’ daughter, Molly, picks that moment to come visiting and gasps a horrified, “MOTHER.” That’ll put a damper on your evening of debauchery. Oh yeah, that’s what Molly things her mother is. A debauched, promiscuous lesbian. So, Phyllis calls Bette and Jodi in to her office when she knows Molly is going to come by and visit so her daughter can see that lesbians can be respectable, normal, stable women. *snerk*  Molly doesn’t look like she’s buying it.

What does come from the meeting, however, is that Jodi resigns from the college. The incident with the art student and fake gun has caused quite a stir and Jodi is determined that Bette isn’t going to have to defend her and her job, so she’s doing the noble thing. Uh oh. That’s gonna make Bette just a little more guilty.

We end the evening back with Jenny the Cunt. She’s showed up on set for the first day of shooting in all her diva-glory. Then Nikki arrives and, if possible, out-divas Jenny! She’s in a foul mood, spouting how stupid Jenny is everytime she makes a suggestion, like…oh, reading the lines in the script rather than making up her on. Turns out our little Nikki is pouty because Jenny is treating her just like one of the actresses instead of her love goddess.

Jenny follows Nikki into her trailer when she walks off set and convinces her, with much use of mouth and tongue, that she really does want to be with her but doesn’t think it’s a good idea to show everyone they’re together. Oh, I don’t think she has to worry about that, since pretty much everyone knows once they start talking dirty and panting hard, while Nikki’s still wearing her mic.

Then William arrives and you think things just might get interesting, but once again Adelle steps in and saves Jenny’s ass by telling William that Jenny made Nikki her lover to save the movie. She sacrificed herself! *gag*  

We cut to inside the make-up trailer where Shane is cutting Adelle’s hair as part of her makeover from Jenny. Adelle is pretty adamant about having straight cut bangs, yada yada. As Shane tries to point out, that looks an awful like Jenny’s haircut. Adelle is all fidgeting and uncertain, but manages to totally turn it around so that Shane cuts her hair just like Jenny’s. Then outside tells everyone who comments on it (aka, Max), that it was Shane’s idea to cut her hair like that.

Adelle doesn’t seem to realize just how close Shane and Max are or even that they talk, because it soon comes out that Shane tried to talk her out of it but Adelle was very certain of what she wanted. Yeah, she wants to take over Jenny’s little gold digger life.

Meanwhile, the girls from Shebar and picketing the movie in the guise of neighborhood women who don’t want a lesbian movie made near their homes. Dawn, Cindy, et. al., get busted, of course, because everyone knows who they are. A scene is temporarily halted when William pays them all to leave.

This thing with Shebar is going to come to an ugly head, y’all!

Lez GirlsSomeone forgot the Golden Rule!!

I’m so mad at Alice right now, I could chew nails and spit out tacks. At her. How could my girl be so lame and disrespectful? She’s normally at least somewhat thoughtful. Okay, maybe a bit scatter brained sometimes, but still… Anyway, I predict right now there will be legal repercussions against her for that little sneak-video thing from the party. And hell yeah, Tasha is mad at you, girlfriend! What where you thinking? Oh yeah, you probably weren’t.

If none of that made any sense to you, here’s what happened. Daryl Brewer, the NBA player Alice and Tasha saw at the Sekrit Party macking on his boytoy, was recording coming out AGAINST homosexuals in pro sports. I was just as “oh no you didn’t” as both Alice and Tasha were when they saw the TV interview, but still, even if Tasha did tell Alice she wished he would get his, why would Alice think that posting a podcast outing him, complete with the snippet of video she took with her camera at the party, was a good idea? On what planet does that make sense?  

Not only did she get some major publicity from the “mundanes” like Crossfire and other news shows, but she’s taken it upon herself to break an agreement she signed as well as the trust placed in her by her host and the other guests. So not cool!

Lez Girls

Is it my imagination, or are Lez Girls getting meaner this season?

Instead of the usual breakdown, I’m gonna mix it up this week. Rather than dividing up among couples, this week we have “Those at the party” and “Those not at the party.”

Those AT the Party: So, there’s this really cool club opening called the Shebar. Hot, sexy girls from Miami, all the cool dykes will be there, don’t be left out. That kinda place. Bette, Jodi, Tom (her interpreter), Kit and Shane are there. As is Jennie (and her trailing puppy dog), Tina and her new flame, Brenda the Heart Surgeon.

We learn about the party while the girls are at a self-defense class, supporting Kit in her efforts to be ready next time a couple thugs stick a gun in her face. Is that something you’re ever ready for? Anyway, amidst the hubbub about the new club, who’s going and who’s not, we also glean that Jenny is throwing a hissy because the studio wants to cast some actress named Nikki Stevens to play her, er, I mean Jessie, in Lez Girls. I’m still scratching my head over why she wanted Natalie Portman, but whatever. And Adelle…that little mousey girl is really quite bright behind those huge glasses. She very sneakily arranges for a watch to show up as a gift from William, Jenny’s billionaire backer, with his enthusiastic thumbs up for Nikki as Jessie. Then, at the party, she arranges for Nikki to “run into” Jenny and proceed to literally BEG for the part with that great line, “I will give you everything that is inside of me for this role.” Oh yes, Adelle is good.

Bette doesn’t want to go, ostensibly because she doesn’t want to support a bar that will compete with her sister (The Planet has girls’ night on Thursdays, which I didn’t remember). She’s so full of bullshit. She’s just old and doesn’t like to party anymore. We also get to see later that all isn’t perfect in Bette/Jodi-land. Some student artist pulled a pulled carved out of soapstone and acted like he was going to shoot himself and called it art. He’s in Jodi’s class. Bette had to pull her Dean hat out and ask Jodi to be more sensitive and Jodi’s all up in arms and gets somewhat insulted, with good cause, I think. Bette really is a wet blanket.

Shane hasn’t decided if she’s going. I mean, why torture yourself, right? And you gotta know it’s been too long when you start picturing all the girls walking around you naked. Shane’s reputation precedes her, as the owner, “Hi I’m Dawn and this is my lover Cindi,” have heard of her and give her a VIP pass for the evening. They later trap her in the VIP lounge and proceed to have their dirty dirty way with her. Not that Shane is fighting it. She may have finally found a solution to the “NO DRAMA” life she’s looking for.

When Kit has had it up to here with Shebar and is ready to leave, Bette sends Jodi on home alone and stays to find Shane, who she promised she wouldn’t leave without. Bette finds Tina in the private little bar that’s curtained off from the rest of the club, all alone and looking very sad. Turns out, Tina is hiding from Brenda, who is just too much of a wild child for her. Hmmmm, could she and Bette have more in common than they think? One would think so by the way they are sucking face when Tina gets up to leave and Bette reaches out and pulls her into her arms. What will Jodi say? If she finds out. Oh, who am I kidding. They always find out.

Those NOT at the Party: That would just be Alice and Tasha. Instead Alice got invited to some hush-hush, Hollywood Underground party for all the gay people who are still in the closet or just don’t want to flaunt it. But, first, Alice gets a little drama of her own.

The military sends a couple of butch guys to her apartment, clearly in an attempt to intimidate her into confessing something that they can use against Tasha. They prowl around her apartment, looking at books and magazines and The Chart. This after bullying their way inside. Assholes. When Tasha gets home, she’s livid and rightly so.

Tasha marches straight over to Beech’s house and pretty much reads him the riot act for not only allowing such a thing to happen, but not notifying her that it even might. Beech’s wife comes down to hiss at them to keep it quiet so their son doesn’t wake up and … this part I love… Tasha humbly and sincerely apologizes to her for the rudeness of coming to her home and disrupting her family, pointedly looking at Beech the whole time. Needless to say, he got an earful when she left. Heh.

So, thanks to Mrs. Beech, he pays the ladies a visit while they’re laying in post-coital bliss in Alice’s bed the next day. The man has made a complete 180 regarding Tasha’s defense and even managed to charm Alice (and visa versa, of course). My faith in humanity is restored!!!

Now, on to the super-duper sekrit gay party. Alice drives up and provides her code sentence, “Aunt Sally is here.”  *snort*  When they get inside, Tasha immediately recognizes one guy as a point guard for the NBA. He’s dancing and snogging some cute boytoy. Now, there’s some really important, influential people here who do NOT want their sexual preferences known (including Tasha), and that’s made clear by their host. So, what does Alice do? Sneaks a picture of Mr. NBA with her camera phone. How. Stupid. Is. That?

Next week, shit hits the fan on many fronts.
 

The L Word Cast

Cool episode title this week! I was actually born in the Lady of the Lake hospital.

The opening scene is something out of Charlie’s Angels. No really. It really is a scene from Charlie’s Angels. Alice is relaying a dream she had to Shane where she, Shane and Helena were the angels, Tina was Bosley and Bette is Charlie. *face palm* They are armed with gaydar guns and their first target is Jenny, who scans as neither straight nor gay nor anything, really. You think they’re trying to tell us that Jenny is just really fucked up?

The L Word Cast

Tonight It's The Shane Show! Everybody wants a piece of Shane. And she’s more than willing to oblige. Our girl’s been called in to do the hair of a bride and her two bridesmaids, plus the mother-of-the-bride. The bride is the daughter of the producer of Lez Girls, no less. The first sparks start to fly when Shane is following Mrs. Producer up the stairs to the room assigned for wedding prep. I love the appreciation for all this femininity Shane shows as she assesses her clients. It’s gonna be a wild ride tonight!

Sorry I’m dashing in here late and new and just totally unorganized! Hi! I’m Meg, recapping The L Word this season. Sort of like Alice, but not blonde and with bigger boobs. Just FYI, this show is the sole reason I subscribe to Showtime, I really don’t care if Tina and Bette get back together, I loathe Jenny with the passion of a hundred burning suns and watching Cybil Shepherd every week is a concession I make for my craft. So, with that said…