I can't believe it's the season finale already. Wish they'd bring C.C. back for this, but alas, it's Rob, Ron, Pepa and Traci fighting to the finish for the dough. Traci slept in Verne's bed in memory of her fallen teammate. Pepa asked Ron to conspire with her against the other members of the team. All of the gang get GPS systems, delivered by Robin, along with some pretty blatant plugging. Robin's ad copy was an introduction to this week's challenge - the goal is for the cast to make their own commercials (for Golden Palace.com, of course. They have to direct, produce and star in their ad. They all have 15 minutes in the studio to create a 30 second spot, and a focus group will judge which is the best. Ron and Rob were confident, Traci and Pepa not so much.

Only 5 celebs remain in the Vegas mansion – and I, for one, am so glad Andrea is not one of them. The gang gets their message from Robin early. The mayor of Vegas is requesting their presence at City Hall. The gang try to figure out what the invitation entails – Verne doesn't think it's a good thing. The mayor meets the gang (best mayor ever – not only did he play himself in “Casino", he listed drinking as one of his favorite hobbies – that's my kinda mayor!) He immediately got on Verne's bad side by calling him “Mini-Me". The mayor declares the day Surreal Life day and gives them all keys to the city – usually reserved for VIPs – oh, and Wayne Newton. (By the way, Ron's name drop-o-meter is now up to 34, if you're counting.) The mayor also bestows good luck chips on the group. Traci relishes this, as she thinks she needs all the luck she can get. They all feel flattered, and now Rob can add this key to his collection (he apparently has keys to Miami, Chicago and the entire state of New Jersey – impressive!) Traci asks Ron if he's nervous – she detects a lot of tension in the house. She claims the gloves are off – think she's going home tonight? Traci lets Ron use her bathroom. Big mistake. She has to bring Rob in to see him and they both light matches in an attempt to humiliate Ron. This is Ron Jeremy – don't you think he's humiliated himself enough? Ron actually got a little mad.

After last week's shenanigans, Andrea is emotionally spent. Pepa feels she's lucky to be there, Traci didn't want Chyna to leave (as she's lost her rubber chicken partner). Robin tells the gang they've earned a day of leisure. Traci asked Ron about the phone thing. Ron claimed Andrea basically hustled to win and everybody feels she's on borrowed time. They have the pool at the Tropicana closed off for them and a few selected guests (mostly shapely, bikini-clad gals and buff-bodied boys.) The gang is actually in a challenge – the area is surrounded by paparazzi. The photogs are there to catch the celebs in embarrassing moments. Rob, always the killjoy got bored and wanted to leave so he vaulted a lounge chair into the pool – and he got everybody kicked out. Verne was pissed (he was enjoying taking lots of lovely ladies around on his scooter.)

Pepa is psychic – or do she thinks. This will come into play later. The gang gets a note from Robin – they have another night at the Palms. Verne passes – he is having problems with his wisdom teeth. Everybody blew off steam during an evening at the Ghost Bar at the Palms which was awesome. Traci tries to make the rubber chicken shot live on without Chyna – but it's not the same. Traci is an annoying drunk, according to Andrea. Hey Andrea – pot...kettle....Traci doesn't hide her contempt for Andrea anymore. Ooh, catfight! Traci unexpectedly showed up in Verne's room. She decided to sleep in the bed with him – and of course, he had no complaints.

Pepa notes that it's a little quieter in the house (as you may recall Emmanuel Lewis was kicked out on the last episode 2 weeks ago.) We cut to the workout room where Traci is exercising and Ron is standing and watching her, clad only in what looks like boxers. Ewww...Traci loves Ron, he's like an older brother to her. They work out a little while together (for God's sake Ron, a shirt would be nice!) and then use each others shirts as a snot rag and sweat catcher. Ewww...It's all just friendly rivalry. Or is it? Chyna's finding the footballs...I mean small dogs she's brought with her are turning out to be more troublesome than she anticipated. But hey, they poopy on the paper! Chyna's had enough and send them home with her manager. Traci asks if the B-listers have dry cleaning privileges and Chyna decides to cram herself into a pair of Traci's pants. Traci says that she and Chyna are both “girly girls" (I never thought Chyna was, Traci, definitely.) By the way, Chyna did manage to get into Traci's pants, which I guess makes up for the fact that she couldn't get into Brigitte's pants earlier in the season (insert rimshot here.)

Robin beckons the gang into the living room, which has been set up to resemble a telethon set – with banks of telephones (and swag bags – geez they get a lot of swag on this show. Wish I were a b-list celeb!) Robin announces that he has a surprise for everyone. The A-list and B-list teams are dissolved – it's every man, woman and Chyna for themselves. And, everyone moves back to the A-list side of the house (much to Traci's delight.) The challenge involves the celebs calling as many of their famous friends as they know and having them call back. Andrea is at a distinct disadvantage as she claims she has no famous friends. Uh-oh. Ron's confident he'll d l because he knows (or at least name-drops) loads of famous folk. All calls are to be verified by casting producer Kristin Prouty. They have 8 hours to make the calls and each callback will be given a certain number of points in accordance with their level of celebrity (so Brad Pitt, lots of points – Yakov Smirnoff, not so many.) The celeb with the least famous friends is going home (no “Back to Reality" this week! Whta will we ever do without Inga?)

The teams are tied with 4 members a piece (this week, sans my beloved C.C.) Rob misses C.C. (don't we all?) He went to Manny and apologized for stirring the pot during last week's challenge. Manny notes that Verne was really upset, so Rob went over to the B-list side of the house and said he was just kidding. Traci's not buying his apology. Robin check in with the gang (minus a snoozing Verne.) The A-listers are having lunch with a big star, the B-listers are star-less. Verne is really mad at Rob, he doesn't want to get out of bed – but if he refuses to participate in activities, no one can, so he grudgingly gets out if bed (what a drama queen.) The A-listers are transported to their lunch date by none other than Big Rick from Flavor of Love (I miss him too!) The As go to Spago and meet...who? We'll have to wait until after the commercial.

Yay! After a (seemingly eternal) Super Bowl break, the gang is back – sans Brigitte, of course. The message from Robin came early this AM – our host promised a little R n'R (rest n' relaxation) for our competitors – the A-listers were to be whisked away to a secret location and the B-listers had to just stick around. The A-listers actually headed to the Venetian Hotel and the Canyon Ranch Spa Club for a day of pampering. The B-listers were treated to a house call from Malena - the "tonal masseuse" from season 4 (I believe she was the one who made Verne cry). Ron is starting to annoy his A-list teammates - he cracked lewd jokes during Andrea's massage. C.C. comments that Ron has a need to be on camera...all the time. Andrea bitched to Traci about Ron's alleged sense of humor (he apparently has over 50 "facial jokes". Ewww...)

If you haven't figured it out by now, Andrea is really tired of living with Ron. Traci, who endured his jokes when they were on Surreal Life together, is a sympathetic ear for her. Special Guest time! Hey, it's Adrianne Curry and Chris Knight from season 4 (and the utterly unwatchable My Fair Brady.) They are visiting for a little sushi and sake. (Side note: Andrea called Ron "loquacious". I'm impressed. The other great quote from this scene – Adrienne to Andrea, "Your boobs are fabulous.") Just like in season 4, the sushi is served in human "tables" - last time it was Adrienne (which gave ups the creepy sight of Verne doing everything in his power to feel her up) – this time, it's a generic woman and (for equality purposes) a man. There's a lot of squabbling and tension, and the happy couple decide to take off. Traci and Chyna (probably fueled by sake) decide to get a rubber chicken drunk. They quickly moved on to making rubber chicken shots made up of sake, all sorts of booze and cheese(?) The gals were a bit loud while imbibing their poultry-based cocktails and Manny's not happy. Verne's really not happy. The gals went in to apologize and all was well. The gang got their challenge assignment from Robin. The teams have to come up with a talent revue – they are going to perform at the V-the Variety Show theater in front of a live audience.

Now the A-List and B-List teams are established and starting tonight, they play against each other - the losing team has to send a member home. Verne returned from his "engagement" (I wonder what it was. Anyone else?) and learned of his new living arrangements (the food outside his door as well as a velvet rope and a doorbell to ring to get to the A-list side – by invitation only.) Meanwhile, the A-listers are living it up - eating gourmet food and getting back rubs. Surprise – Verne's pissed. Traci is trying to get Ron to be her A-list "sugar daddy" and is still really unhappy with her status. She wants everyone to know that she's so much more than a "Baywatch bimbo" and is taking the game a little too personally. Brigitte is complaining on the phone to her Italian boyfriend Matti (I thought she was married to him...) and says she wants to go home. But wait – it's a message from Robin. Today treats to tempt the tastebuds – the A-listers get a private cooking lesson and the B-listers get a feast of a different sort – hmmm...Turns out the A-list meal is going to be prepared by Todd English from Iron Chef. He's making lobster spaghetti carbonara. Andrea is disturbed in the kitchen watching the lobster massacre. So what are the B-listers going to dine on?

We discover that the Bs are dining at B-List Wieners – a fully appointed hot dog cart. Manny's game and decides to keep it ghetto, Chyna also didn't seem to care. The As are enjoying their feast (I saw peas – yucky!) Meanwhile vegetarian Traci has something else to complain about – she doesn't eat doggies, so she gets a pickle dog. Manny and Chyna lead the charge (accompanied by Traci and Verne, but not Brigitte) to check out the A-list side and decide to up their game and put up a good fight. Traci is forced to be the grated cheese girl, which of course irritates her to no end. Rob goes after Brigitte who is "over it". He lures her over with some sangria. She comes in, surveys the spread, and decides to head back over to her side of the house. Party pooper, says Ron. After bananas and chocolate fondue, Robin added to dessert with stacks of dollar bills for a special A-list dance party in a makeshift champagne room – complete with strippers. Family man Rob gives his wad of cash to Verne - who says it would only last him a few minutes - and took off. Verne was in "breast-s heaven". Traci invited a few of the girls back to the mansion. Ron was with a stripper who decided to rest on Rob's bed. Rob walked in and was not too pleased. Actually, he was furious. He storms off to the b-list side to vent. Ron (the instigator) follows in and they have a very vocal discussion.

Another Sunday night with our favorite A and B-listers. The battle lines are beginning to be drawn. Has Traci stopped complaining about her B-list accommodations? (Hey, the B-list side is nicer than a lot of places I've lived!)

Tonight the remaining 6 A-listers must compete to keep their privileged status by testing their acting skills. Hmmm... Well, to answer my question, Traci is still bitching about the B-list side of the house – more specifically the antics of Chyna and Brigitte (apparently they have developed their own language and code.) We even get to see Chyna burst a zit on Brigitte's forehead (eww....) Chyna admits it's a bizarre relationship. Robin checks in early to set the cast up for their first challenge. They have athletic gear laid out for them. The A-listers got fancy tennis whites and the B-listers got gym attire I think I wore in high school. The A's get private tennis lessons with a professional tennis player (David Pate...yeah, I hadn't heard of him either) as well as fancy-schmancy finger sandwiches and champagne. Meanwhile, the B-listers are playing ping-pong with pro Peter Baszo (yeah, hadn't heard of him either...) and enjoying hot wings and cheap beer (gee, that sounds like way more fun to me!) Rob compares it to "first class" versus "ass class". Well put, Mr. Van Winkle.

Ron is good at tennis (little known fact) and Traci is still complaining (even going so far as to steal some champagne from the A-listers.) Ron and Brigitte are having a moment. He's on the B-list side and kissing her feet. Icky. Verne had a "prior engagement" and had to leave his new BFF, Chyna. Guess they kissed and made up. The cast get a note from Robin. They are all going to the Palms. The A-listers get gambling money and swag. The B-listers didn't get chips – they had to use their own scratch. Of course, the A-listers got VIP treatment at the casino (and Ron's "Name Drop-o-Meter" moved up another notch), the B-listers sat in their van waiting for a valet. Brigitte tried to order some champagne and when her request was denied, stormed out of the casino.

Episode 2 begins with the celebs settling into their new digs. Traci expertly applies her lip gloss and gloats a bit about her A-list status. CC has the best bed hair – EVER. Verne serves up a Mountain Dew and vodka (ewww....) Brigitte spent the night with Chyna (ewww...) Verne and Manny formed mutual admiration society while playing pool sans cues. The gang get their video message from Robin Leach. The A-listers are taking in a Las Vegas show. The B-listers are housebound – with their own surprise to come. Chyna and Verne have no idea what to do, so they end up talking and actually end up getting along – which is better than the relationship they had previously on The Surreal Life. All is going well until...ding, dong! Go to commercial...

The A-listers are enjoying the Follies Bergere. Chyna and Verne get a live show from - Marshmallow the Clown (isn't just being on the B-list side of the house enough punishment? I feel honestly bad for these two right now.) The clown managed to scare Chyna, which is quite a feat. The A-listers get boobies, while Chyna and Verne get balloons. Ron and Brigitte get chummy at the show. Verne offended the clown and she stormed off (love ya, Verne!) Rob calls Verne and says there's a car out to take them to dinner – it's a van with “B-List Plumbing" emblazoned on it. They all do meet for dinner. Rob gets on Verne's scooter and they motor around the restaurant - and bond. Traci went for a ride (with her beautiful breasts-s, as Verne put it) and Chyna got pissed (for no reason really) and the 2 start squabbling – she calls him a midget and he goes off on her.

I don't know how this slipped in under the radar, but the newest incarnation of VH-1's addictive Surreal Life series (my personal favorite of all of their "Celebreality" shows – even better than the train wreck that was Flavor of Love) debuted on Sunday. The Surreal Life Fame Games is a competition made up of cast members of the previous 6 seasons of the show. The premise is that they are to compete in wacky challenges and the players who lose are sent from the opulence of the A-List side of the Las Vegas mansion that serves as their temporary home to the B-List side, complete with the 3-legged dog from season 5 of the show. Eventually, the A-listers and B-listers will face off and players start getting voted off of the show. Brilliant. The show is hosted by Robin Leach, who brings a "cheese-tastic" quality to the proceedings that I don't think anyone can duplicate.

The show opens with former SL-er Verne "Mini Me" Troyer (fun fact: his first film was "Baby's Day Out") decked out as Tattoo from Fantasy Island. Robin, of course is the debonair Mr. Rourke. We then get to see the arrivals (in limos, of course) of the players. In no particular order, they are:

C.C. Deville (Poison)
Emmanuel Lewis (Webster)
Rob (don't you DARE call me Vanilla Ice) Van Winkle
Joanie "Chyna Doll" Laurer
Tracy Bingham (Baywatch)
Brigitte Nielsen (Former Mrs. Stallone, almost former Mrs. Flavor Flav)
Ron Jeremy (porn legend)
Sandy "Pepa" Denton (Salt n' Pepa)
Jordan Knight (New Kids on the Block)
Andrea Lowell (Playboy)

The gang all have hugging, bonding and picking out rooms time (well, technically Verne is not participating – he was just here for "Tattoo duty".) Jordan insists on having the "Big Ass Room" as it's the only room that sleeps one – as you may (or may not) recall from when he was on SL, he wasn't much for socializing. He looked miserable before, why the hell did he choose to come back? Is he already out of his "Hanging Tough" dough? Chyna brought her yip dogs (much to the "delight" of Vani...I mean Rob and the other cast members.) Chyna was also quite taken with Brigitte. It looked mutual, and Brigitte announced that she may go lesbian. Scary! In the midst of the festivities, Jordan gets the tragic news that his grandmother died and he chooses to leave the house. The rest of the castmates say their goodbyes and secretly hum "Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead" after he leaves (I am SO glad he left, he is the epitome of a stick in the mud!)