ABC sent out its upfronts this week and Women's Murder Club isn't on it. Unless it's picked up by another station, this is the last recap, guys!

We open with a 911 call. A hysterical woman tells 911 that "Oh my god, he's going to kill me!" which is better than the actual truth of "Oh my god, we're totally ripping off the teaser from Criminal Minds!"

(Travellingone says, "But white lies are completely harmless.")

We open with Lindsay talking about how she doesn't want to talk about
 sex to Claire, Cindy and Jill. Especially nympho Jill, who will,
 according to Lindsay, have sex with anyone that moves.

Lindsay asks the question: how long do you wait before shagging the hot
 guy? The dog, who's waiting for some of that bread  being a good listener, whines and blinks his big brown eyes.

Hi, I'm your recapper and here's a tidbit. Women's Murder Club was just moved to Tuesday opposite Law and Order: SVU. Guess who's the executive producer? Robert Nathan - the guy who ran SVU when it was cool. So let's see if he worked his magic on the new ep of Women's Murder Club (and piss off Dick Wolf at the same time.)

The show opens with a car speeding through a tunnel. Lindsay is racing to a crime scene. She's talking to Jacobi on the radio who tells her two people were shot and one is a 15 year old.

Aah, the first bit of Angie Harmon in 2008. Things are looking up! Now hopefully writers will get what they ask for so they can get back to work. As a fellow writer from across the border – I lift my pen to you! Fine, there was no actual lifting. I just typed it. I’m lazy and underpaid. Deal.

As you may or may not recall, FBI profiler John Nash paid Lindsay a visit. He’s been working on the Kiss Me Not Killer’s case (I will now be referring to the killer as Stabby McGee) and has received a threat directed at Lindsay. So he’s asked her to help him out. She refuses, but he tails her anyways.

This episode, we have a drag queen, face down in a toilet. Not as fabulous an exit as Glenn a.k.a. Dakota would have wanted, I think.

Dakota was a happy queen, a big star at a drag cabaret. She had a loving partner, Bruce, who with Dakota’s caring help, entered cancer remission a few months ago. Lindsay was so touched by their relationship, she felt compelled to tell Tom, the day before his wedding, how she sincerely wishes them the best of luck and a happy life together. Of course, in the middle of her speech, Heather had to walk in and ruin the moment. But Lindsay, the epitome of class and general wonderfulness, simply brushed away her tears, and said happily, almost serenely, “It’s ok, we’re done.” I think this moment calls for a, “You go girl” and perhaps a Z snap.

Today we have one and a half dead Spanish guys and a little lady. But no guest appearance by Tom Selleck. On day guys, one day.

So, one man, Xavier, was shot to death in his home. His father was also shot, but will survive. His little sister was in the home during the shooting and was found hiding in the attic scared mute.

Lindsay recognises the little girl’s tag on her backpack – she goes to the same school Heather (Tom’s fiancé) teaches at. Heather is actually her teacher. Lindsay begrudgingly calls her for some help. Heather comes in, along with the class pet rabbit for comfort purposes and tries to get the little girl to talk. Both Heather and Lindsay do an awesome job of talking to the kid and making her feel comfortable. It was actually really touching. Like seriously - I welled up. Shut up. I’m sleep deprived. Now, stop judging me.

And here I am, round two of Women’s Murder Club. Let’s all count our Angie Harmon blessings!

The entire club is at the crime scene, even Cindy, to see dead guy of the week number two: Ben Cooper, a warehouse janitor. When the girls are done their powwow, Cindy gets into her car which is harbouring a visitor! His name is Jamie Galvan, son of Paul Galvin. Galvin Senior is on death row for raping and killing Assistant District Attorney Tracy Wellings. Ben Cooper was the star witness for the case. Jamie claims that he wanted to recant his testimony – he published this on an internet site devoted to his dad’s case. He was actually meeting Cooper to talk about it, but when he got there, he was already dead. He tried to help, but it was too late. All he managed to do is to get a little blood on his shirt. But Jamie recognised Cindy from her picture next to her by-lines. He’s read her stuff and knows she’s all about fairness and justice. So, not knowing what else to do, he snuck into her car and scared her half to death. She agrees to help him, mostly because he’s, like, cute, and stuff.

So this week we get two consecutive days of Women’s Murder Club episodes. Is it just me, or does this feel wasteful? In the middle of a writer’s strike, shouldn’t we be rationing? Maybe I’m just bitter I have to do some extra recapping this week. I‘m an unbelievably lazy person. Actually, right now I’m fighting the urge to pee so I don’t need to get up. Yup, I’m just that lazy.

Today’s dead guy is Ethan Williams, a twenty one year old security guard. Well, formerly a twenty one year old security guard. Cause of death: gun shot wound to the head. After work, he went for a walk with his pregnant wife Beth, and then was found dead in a park a few hours later. Beth however, is missing. All that’s left is a blood stained scarf soaked in amniotic fluid. Somewhere Beth is giving birth. Eek. Imagine having to pass a bowling bowl under murderous and possibly kidnapping-like conditions. God, I can’t even imagine having to squeeze I tiny human being from in-between your legs as it is. Seems freakish, and frankly, a little too messy for my taste. … But that’s just me.

Jill, Claire and Cindy (and from the other side of the tv, myself) are all hounding Lindsay about the date she had on last week’s episode – if you recall she met with a handsome kitty saving firefighter. But again, she’s evasive about her affairs and remains tight lipped.

This date seems to have given the rest of her male co-workers the push they needed to ask Lindsay out. This motivates Lindsay to climb onto her desk and give a little speech about how this lone date doesn’t mean she’s back on the market. She also takes the opportunity to instruct one particularly presumptuous officer Phong, to refrain from staring at her butt. Don’t you hate it when you get asked on dates when you’re trying to work a crime scene? Or when you get asked out so much you’re forced to announce to your whole office to stop pining for you? … I’m just saying she’s not doing her clitoris any favours. However, staring is never polite. Phong’s a pooper.